About patience and tiredness

[Antonio]

Dear Sangha,

Recently my workload increased drastically. This took me out of my routine and I am feeling super tired all the time. I am saying this because, during my regular routine, I am a very patient and calm person. However, I realized that during tiredness moments, I get very impatient and stressed.

I tried to study deeply the situation, I am regularly observing my mind reactions but I have no clue of how to control the rebel horse of my mind in such moments. After I rest, however, everything returns to the normal.

I embraced the feelings and I understand the impermanence of this moment. However, this is a period of my life that I cannot reduce the workload and my biggest concern is that I don’t want to create suffering on people around me for my impatience caused by this extreme situation.

Someone have a suggestion of how to control the brain reactions in extreme conditions?

Gassho,
SatLah

[Matt Johnson]

What do you usually do in situations like this? Why is this time different? What is the heaviest thing in your backpack: The work that you're doing or the stress that it is causing you dealing with people etc.?

_/\_

sat/ah

Matt

[Rich]

I would rest more

sat/lah

[ZenJay]

Hi Antonio,
I’m not a teacher so please take what I say with a grain of salt. I see a lot of myself in your post…

I work in retail sales, and let me tell you, it can be stressful. For years I resisted my job… my father was in sales and I sure as heck wasn’t going to be! (Funny how the universe works!) When we resist what is, it causes dukkha… and wow did I have a LOT of dukkha! When I joined the company I work for it was because I wanted to work 4 long days a week, and have three days off for more time with family, etc. It was great… until Covid came. When we went back to work we suddenly had to work 5 days a week because of reduced hours of the store. This never changed back for us. For years I was resisting the new schedule. I found myself sinking into despair at times, lashing out at loved ones when I didn’t mean to, and generally unhappy with my life and where I was.
What I find myself doing now to avoid things like this is I try to embrace and flow with the new routine and schedule… laugh when things get hectic (don’t let the stressful thoughts cloud the clear skies of the mind, let the come and go) and allow it all to just flow and accept it all as it comes… when I do this with my job, I find that I feel lighter and just go with it. I even find myself having more fun with my customers and actually doing better in my sales! I try my best to do like Jundo says; bring Zazen off the zafu and into everyday life! …and it is wonderful!
I also take time to rest and allow for my body to heal. I’m no youngster anymore, so it’s important! I would encourage you to make sure you get enough sleep during this hectic time, it will also help to balance mood and well being. It will also ensure mental acuity when it comes to job performance. (I’ve worked in retail mattress sales for 23 years and have seen what poor sleep can do to someone. Not good… so make sure to get those ZZZ’s!)
And very true! All is impermanent and will change, so hang in there… I hope things get lighter for you soon! Hope this helps!

sorry to run long

Gassho,
Jay
Sat/Lah today

[Jundo]

While some traditions of Buddhism believe in cutting sleep ... Dogen and Homeless Kodo said a good sleep is part of Zazen. Nishijima Roshi agreed very much. We need proper sleep (one of our attendees in Tsukuba is a world recognized researcher on sleep and, while Zazen, can be a limited substitute for sleep in some aspects, basically, the brain needs sleep, on average for 8 hours.) Kodo Sawaki said ...

Eat in order to do zazen, sleep in order to do zazen. This means that eating and sleeping are also part of zazen.

Everything in balance even if, in this busy world, it is sometimes hard to get enough sleep.

By the way, this interview with another famous sleep expert shows that cutting sleep to study, learn a task, etc. is foolish because much learning happens DURING sleep ... listen here, for example, from 11:00 mark to about 15:00 mark ...

Gassho, J
stlah

[Bion]

Hi, Antonio! Here’s my thoughts on this. I hope they do good rather than mislead! In any case, forgive me if I say anything silly!
I don’t think the matter is so much controlling the brain, as you say, but rather controlling the physical and verbal reaction. I think I can empathize with you as I tend to get quite jumpy when I lose my patience. What I do is take a second before I let out any visceral reaction to acknowledge how I am feeling. The same way I take a second when there’s an itch or something during zazen. Before I say something, I take a breath. Before I slam that cabinet door or bang that glass on the table in rage, I try to stop and regain control. It does not always work, but usually, it is enough to recenter oneself, without the need to bury whatever one feels.
Sorry for running a little long.

Gassho
sat and lah

[Onsho]

Just keep noticing it happen. Make that your practice. You will get a stronger relationship with it in due time. Allow it to be a graceful teacher.

Gassho
Onsho
Satlah