A small 'YOU are not IT' moment.

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  • Heisoku
    Member
    • Jun 2010
    • 1338

    A small 'YOU are not IT' moment.

    ‘Mind and body drop away’. ‘Letting go.’ These kinds of phrases I have read or heard from studying this practice of zazen have sometimes left me quite confused as to what to do or which way to go. The more I thought, the more I knew that this ‘thinking’ was opposite to the essence of zazen practice (Jundo and Taigu say this in every teaching they have done and I have read or heard!!),BUT it still continues, like a little background programme you forgot was pre-installed on your computer but slows down whatever process you want to run.I guess our natural tendency to conceptualise what such phrases mean set off these mini background ‘thinking programmes’?
    Well something has happened for me as a result of all these years of sitting doing nothing, supposedly for no particular reason. I found myself this morning just feeding the chickens and watching the sunrise through some heavy looking clouds, before realising that I wasn’t actually thinking about what I couldn’t understand or was supposed to understand. In fact I was quite happy knowing that I didn’t know. Now this was not a thought realisation, but more an awareness realisation that seemed to arise with just watching the sun. I guess it is just accepting my ignorance and being happy that I am not ignorant of my ignorance as much as I had once been. It was such a simple moment, but it seemed to shut down many of those mini background thoughts that I cannot understand why I hadn’t realised this before? But before I set off another set of background thoughts I will be happy in this small moment.

    I just felt like sharing this in gratitude for all of the posts from which I have learnt so much and to being part of Treeleaf. Thanks, in Gassho to all.
    Last edited by Heisoku; 10-21-2012, 09:50 PM.
    Heisoku 平 息
    Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home. (Basho)
  • Myoku
    Member
    • Jul 2010
    • 1491

    #2
    Thank you Heisoku,
    I can relate much to the "I know I dont know and I'm ok with that", its
    a relief. And I much know the thinking programmes
    _()_
    Myoku

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    • Seiryu
      Member
      • Sep 2010
      • 620

      #3
      Thank you Heisoku,

      we want sooo hard to know everything, that it is actually quite peaceful to settle into that understanding that in fact, we don't know. "The only thing I know, is that I know nothing."

      How beautiful, how beautiful

      Humbly,

      Seiryu
      Humbly,
      清竜 Seiryu

      Comment

      • Taigu
        Blue Mountain White Clouds Hermitage Priest
        • Aug 2008
        • 2710

        #4
        Very good sign Heisoku, we sometimes have these moments when we totally let go of the gripping action, the will to fathom and to turn our fresh life into thoughts patterns. For guys like us, tis very hard because all our life evolves around knowing and keeping an eye on everything. Now, please, don t turn this even into a knowing experience, forget about it all together. Come back to what you are simply doing. The realization of how our mind is confused is the the alpha and omega of our path.

        Gassho

        Taigu
        Last edited by Jundo; 10-21-2012, 08:41 AM.

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        • Heisoku
          Member
          • Jun 2010
          • 1338

          #5
          Thank you.
          Heisoku 平 息
          Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home. (Basho)

          Comment

          • Kyonin
            Treeleaf Priest / Engineer
            • Oct 2010
            • 6746

            #6
            Not knowing is liberation.

            Thank you, Heisoku.

            Gassho,

            Kyonin
            Hondō Kyōnin
            奔道 協忍

            Comment

            • RichardH
              Member
              • Nov 2011
              • 2800

              #7
              yet.. not knowing isn't anti-knowing. Knowing is relative and partial and no problem. If knowing is clung to and made the ground, then it is a problem. But if groundless not-knowing is the ground.. then knowing is fine... and doesn't touch not knowing. Not knowing in opposition to knowing, or in fear of knowing, isn't liberation, because it avoids knowing instead of getting to the root of it.

              Sorry for the wordiness. and not sure if that makes sense. Gassho, kojip.

              Comment

              • Mp

                #8
                Originally posted by Kyonin
                Not knowing is liberation.

                Thank you, Heisoku.

                Gassho,

                Kyonin
                Oh I so agree with that Kyonin!

                Gassho
                Michael

                Comment

                • Dosho
                  Member
                  • Jun 2008
                  • 5784

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Kojip
                  yet.. not knowing isn't anti-knowing. Knowing is relative and partial and no problem. If knowing is clung to and made the ground, then it is a problem. But if groundless not-knowing is the ground.. then knowing is fine... and doesn't touch not knowing. Not knowing in opposition to knowing, or in fear of knowing, isn't liberation, because it avoids knowing instead of getting to the root of it.

                  Sorry for the wordiness. and not sure if that makes sense. Gassho, kojip.
                  Kojip,

                  It makes perfect sense and thank you for your words. I think "not knowing" can often be misunderstood as "ignorance is bliss", which we certainly wouldn't endorse around here!

                  As you point out, clinging to that "knowledge" is often as big a cause a suffering than anything else.

                  Gassho,
                  Dosho

                  Comment

                  • Heisoku
                    Member
                    • Jun 2010
                    • 1338

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Dosho
                    I think "not knowing" can often be misunderstood as "ignorance is bliss",
                    So true Dosho.

                    I think Dogen clarifies this for me in Shobogenzo:One Bright Pearl in a commentary on Gensha's “All the universe is one bright pearl. What need is there to understand it?”when he writes;

                    'Yet both you and I, not knowing what one bright pearl is and what it is not, have had a great many thoughts and non-thoughts about it which have come to form positive notions. Yet, when thanks to Gensha’s words it is made known and clarified that even our bodies and minds are one bright pearl, then the mind is not I.'

                    Gassho.



                    Last edited by Heisoku; 10-21-2012, 09:48 PM.
                    Heisoku 平 息
                    Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home. (Basho)

                    Comment

                    • Jiken
                      Member
                      • Jan 2011
                      • 753

                      #11
                      Gassho Heisoku

                      Daido.

                      Comment

                      • threethirty
                        Member
                        • Dec 2011
                        • 170

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Kojip
                        yet.. not knowing isn't anti-knowing.
                        --Washu
                        和 Harmony
                        秀 Excellence

                        "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body" George Carlin Roshi

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