Sadness

[johns]

My daughter recently moved to Hawaii, and at times, I still deal with sadness. Holidays, even minor ones like yesterday (Memorial Day in the US), tend to trigger it more. Intellectually, I know it is best that she is happy and finding her way, as is the natural order of things. Yet, the sadness still comes upon me. Last night, after a bit of crying, it was time to sit my evening Zazen practice. As I sat down to begin, I remember thinking to myself sarcastically, "This is going to be fun" Sure enough, as I sat, the tears came. I thought about just stopping Zazen all together, then something happened. I could almost hear Jundo saying, "Just sit with the sadness". So I did. All I can say is, and language fails here, it was liberating. I learned much from my Zazen last night.

Sorry for going a bit long

Gassho,

John

SatTodayLAH

[Bion]

Oh, thank you so much for sharing that, John. Wonderful to read how you practiced with it and what came out of it. Sorry about the sad bits in the experience. I am sure birdies are all excited to fly out the nest and they might even need a while to look back, but oh boy, mama and papa bird have to face that empty spot from the very beginning.

Gassho
Sat and lah

[Jundo]

Been there.

[Onki]

Hi John,

Thank you so much for sharing this. I deal with severe depression so your comment really hit me.

As Jundo says, “Sit with the depression, in your case, the sadness.”

Crying can be a very good release and cathartic as well.

Thanks again,

Gasshō,

On

Sat today/LAH

[Seijin]

Thank you for sharing.

Please take my comments with a grain of salt Im just a lay practitioner in this linage and answer from my own perspective.

Somehow our minds are set to react to change and separation from loved ones. And new separation tend to trigger old ones.
I hear you are coping in a beatiful way.

Im thinking that all emotions have a place. If we face them and let them come and go. Without holding back neighter feed them with making it into " a story" with a lot of thoughts about the emotion or the situation. Then we will be able to process whats going on.

take care
Gassho
Seijin

[Dainin]

Thanks for sharing, John. I am with you, as is any parent who has older children. It is certainly bitter sweet. I'm glad to hear you stuck with your zazen and learned something. I'm consistently amazed at the endless lessons we can learn from simply sitting.

Gassho,
Dainin

SatLah

[Shigeru]

Thank you for sharing John. I echo a lot of what has been said previously. I'd just like to share this quote from Shunryu Suzuki which I return to often when faced with sitting with tough mental states:

..because of your mental agony you cannot rest. You may walk up and down, in and out, but this does not help. Actually the best way to relieve your mental suffering is to sit in zazen, even in such a confused state of mind and bad posture..

..in the zazen posture which you have acquired by long, hard practice, your mind and body have great power to accept things as they are, whether they are agreeable or disagreeable. When you feel disagreeable it is better for you to sit. There is no other way to accept your problem and work on it. Whether you are the best horse or the worst, or whether your posture is good or bad is out of the question. Everyone can practice zazen, and in this way work on his problems and accept them. When you are sitting in the middle of your own problem, which is more real to you: your problem or you yourself? The awareness that you are here, right now, is the ultimate fact.

..In continuous practice, under a succession of agreeable and disagreeable situations, you will realize the marrow of Zen and acquire its true strength

Gassho
Will
SatLah

[Rich]

Thank you for sharing John. I echo a lot of what has been said previously. I'd just like to share this quote from Shunryu Suzuki which I return to often when faced with sitting with tough mental states:





Gassho
Will
SatLah

So very true.
thank you
sat/lah