I would agree that a teacher should never have a sexual relationship with a student ... much as a psychologist should never have a sexual relationship with a patient. Period.
That being said, people are people, and the heart is the heart. Such relationships will happen from time to time, and they are to be excused if (1) truly between consenting adults with no misuse or important trigger in the power, position or influence of the teacher as teacher (2) an honest disclosure to the entire Sangha is made promptly and (3) the relationship of teacher and student immediately ends between the couple from that point forward. It is not easy to tell which relationships are of the natural, consenting and "excusable" kind, and where the position/influence of teacher has been misused, and also difficult to ask the student (or, to be fair, the teacher!) to leave participation in the Sangha, so generally such relationships should be met skeptically and avoided in almost all cases. The "excused" cases should be few and far between.
Likewise. affairs among married people ... teachers or not ... are to be avoided, but happen nonetheless. It also should be frowned upon, is generally hurtful and deceptive ... but married people sometimes fall in love outside their relationship (I do distinguish "falling in love" from simple sexual attraction, though both "just happen").
The central question is the Precept on Misusing Sexuality, which we will soon reflect on in our Jukai Preparations.
In my view, a Teacher having an "it just happened" affair with a student or two over many years is a far cry, however, from the case of "date rapists", serial predators, misusers of their spiritual influence and the like ... such as Eido Shimano and others. Unfortunately, Zen folks tend to link and confuse all of this ... lumping in the "had an adult affair" types with the "seducers, abusers and predators". They are not the same.
I know Jundo has written about you wouldn't want a teacher who was perfect
Yes, here ...
Gassho, Jundo
That being said, people are people, and the heart is the heart. Such relationships will happen from time to time, and they are to be excused if (1) truly between consenting adults with no misuse or important trigger in the power, position or influence of the teacher as teacher (2) an honest disclosure to the entire Sangha is made promptly and (3) the relationship of teacher and student immediately ends between the couple from that point forward. It is not easy to tell which relationships are of the natural, consenting and "excusable" kind, and where the position/influence of teacher has been misused, and also difficult to ask the student (or, to be fair, the teacher!) to leave participation in the Sangha, so generally such relationships should be met skeptically and avoided in almost all cases. The "excused" cases should be few and far between.
Likewise. affairs among married people ... teachers or not ... are to be avoided, but happen nonetheless. It also should be frowned upon, is generally hurtful and deceptive ... but married people sometimes fall in love outside their relationship (I do distinguish "falling in love" from simple sexual attraction, though both "just happen").
The central question is the Precept on Misusing Sexuality, which we will soon reflect on in our Jukai Preparations.
In my view, a Teacher having an "it just happened" affair with a student or two over many years is a far cry, however, from the case of "date rapists", serial predators, misusers of their spiritual influence and the like ... such as Eido Shimano and others. Unfortunately, Zen folks tend to link and confuse all of this ... lumping in the "had an adult affair" types with the "seducers, abusers and predators". They are not the same.
I know Jundo has written about you wouldn't want a teacher who was perfect
Yes, here ...
Gassho, Jundo
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