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Yes, Marek, any attempt to make something out of this ( at least in my experience so far) has proven to be ridiculous.
Loosing opens you up, vulnerability makes more available to others. When we start this all Zen circus thing we ride the self, and this riding action kills the belief that that self would take you anywhere. We ride to stumble, to fall, to fail. And when left with nobody, not even a Dharma name, when left with an empty broken bowl, the whole universe revels itSELF.
In the middle of Shikantaza, what is your name? Tell me!!! ( and if you can find one, time to forget it)
This reminds me of the urban legend of a philosophy professor who placed a chair in front of the students for their final exam and said, "Prove this chair exists." One student wrote for only a few seconds and turned in his paper which would later receive an A. His answer? "What chair?" If true, the student was truly in the moment!
Also reminds me of British cartoon I watched as a kid called "Dangermouse" where the protagonists travelled to the deserts of Africa and met a soldier among the dunes. He tells them, "I joined the Foreign Legion to forget." "Forget what?", they reply. Says the soldier, "I don't know, I have forgotten."
... When we start this all Zen circus thing we ride the self, and this riding action kills the belief that that self would take you anywhere. We ride to stumble, to fall, to fail. And when left with nobody, not even a Dharma name, when left with an empty broken bowl, the whole universe revels itSELF...
Okay, this make perfect sense to me, who knows why!
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