A karma tale, and a question

[AlanLa]

You are human, and so you reacted in that small, human way that we have. But the important part is you processed it. You didn't hang on to the small human reaction. You were aware of it and then let it go after a bit. It's not the event (ticket), nor is it the reaction to the event (anger over unfairness), but the whole scene of the play from beginning to end, with no end. On you go to your next scene.

I had a somewhat similar thing two days ago but with the roles reversed. I made a student mad and upset at me. I am mean* and unfair and it is all my fault for her poor performance because she was just doing what I told her to do**, and so on in her view. Well, my reaction was to be upset with myself also. I have been reexamining my interactions and interventions with her ever since, two days of rehashing it over and over again in my mind. I'm not beating myself up or second guessing as much as trying to better understand what happened so I can be better with her, and others, in the future. But I've also had to keep reminding myself that the past is past, beyond fixing, and same with the present. The only thing I can do is learn and let go and move on, and hopefully help her do the same. But it's a real balancing act, and sometimes it takes a while to get your balance back after losing it, and that's okay. I generally like surfing analogies (it's okay to fall off the board, just get back on), but since I started with a play analogy I'll go back to it. Sometimes we forget our lines and have to improvise until we get back on script. But there is no script, really; it's all improv all the time.

(* She may have a point here, as I am a lot like Taigu in how I like to cut through the bullshit and don't appreciate whiners too much in my job.)
(** She has less of a point here, and I need to help her see that.)

[BrianW]

Hey Kojip,

I must say whenever I have gotten a ticket my first reaction is usually thinking "I've done nothing wrong." For me it's not just a reaction of feeling "unjustly" treated, but wanting to think I haven't done anything wrong. This does "linger" sometimes. After some time has passed I usually think, and feel, the officer was doing his job and I was in the wrong. (Mind you my tickets are for minor violations...such as yours.) I remember from grad school and article I read about how people have a moral bias that involves thinking that one is almost all of the time in the right. A line in the article read "self innocent, until proven guilty." So been there and will be in that space again I am sure. I think what matters is reflecting on the experience...such as you are doing.

I will tell a wonderful story that happened a few years ago. I received a phone call that my dad had a heart attack and was trying to reach the hospital ASAP. I got pulled over as I was speeding. As the officer was approaching the car I blurted out "My dad had a heart attack!" I imagine I looked pretty anxious. The officer waved for me to go and shouted out "Slow down...I'll say a prayer for your dad." I'm sure police hear such excuses all the time, but, for whatever reason he believed me.

Gassho,
Jisen/BrianW

[Shokai]

Being a right hand drive vehicle,white-petteway-serene-buddha-sculpture-in-a-car-strapped-in-by-a-seatbelt.jpg That would be the driver's seat. Yeah, Buddha's in the Drver's seat!!

[AlanLa]

I forgot to add that no matter how well Buddha is buckled into the seat, He is not attached to it

[RichardH]

Thanks for sharing. These days, I try not to let too much get to me. Usually I just remind myself, "Look, stop fuming over your silly little first-world problems. When you have to deal with some third-world problems, then we can get upset." Sometimes I just have to laugh at how people (myself included) who live comparatively luxurious lives can get so upset over the most petty things.

Hi Kaishin.. That is a reasonable assumption to make, but an assumption just the same. Why would a silly little thing like a perceived unfair fine for $240 evoke such a gut response? What could the circumstances, context, and history be behind that response? Spoiled firstworldism? Maybe. But there are frequently situations lived through in the "first world" that we wouldn't wish on anyone.

Gassho, kojip.

[Hoyu]

Hi Kojip,

Maybe we can find the cause of your suffering by changing your story a bit with a thought experiment?
What if instead of a $240 ticket the officer had given you a $2.40 ticket? Would your reaction have been the same? If no, then ask why. If yes, then again ask yourself why.


Simplified examples of each for clarification(not that either will necessarily apply to you!)


If no(you wouldn't feel the same), then perhaps the root cause is attachment to the money?


If yes(you would still feel the same), then perhaps the root cause is attachment to ideas of who and what is right/just and wrong/unjust?


I think really investigating how you would feel and what you would think (in this newly created situation) will hopefully shed light on the origins of what was truly behind it all. Then you work on it form there

Gassho,
Hoyu

[RichardH]

Hi Kojip,

Maybe we can find the cause of your suffering by changing your story a bit with a thought experiment?
What if instead of a $240 ticket the officer had given you a $2.40 ticket? Would your reaction have been the same? If no, then ask why. If yes, then again ask yourself why.


Simplified examples of each for clarification(not that either will necessarily apply to you!)


If no(you wouldn't feel the same), then perhaps the root cause is attachment to the money?


If yes(you would still feel the same), then perhaps the root cause is attachment to ideas of who and what is right/just and wrong/unjust?


I think really investigating how you would feel and what you would think (in this newly created situation) will hopefully shed light on the origins of what was truly behind it all. Then you work on it form there

Gassho,
Hoyu

Hello Hoyu. To be honest I regret starting this conversation, but will pick up your point. Yes, it was a gut reaction to the money at that moment.. "Attachment to money".. that is one way of putting it... another way of putting it is an attachment to paying for my son's tuition coming due, just when my market has dissolved, savings are depleted, and I start re-training for a second career on a very tight budget..

This is all very personal information... and I certainly don't dwell on it in practice, or the pedigree of my karma. I mention it because "attachment to money" can mean a lot of things from the glib and silly, and venal, to concerns related to real responsibilities. It depends. One thing practice has taught me more and more.. is coming to terms with actuality of this bodymind's karmic sinew as it is. ...anyway I've said enough on this thread.

Gassho, kojip