Skillful Means

[threethirty]

Working at the Seminary puts me into some really awkward situations. Today was one of them, I was asked during lunch if I was a member of the Church, to which I replied no. I then was asked if I was a Christian. duh duh duuuuhhh! What to say... do you lie, do you tell the truth, do you use some copout like "I'm Spiritual" or do you redefine christian, and god to fit things as you understand them?

It doesn't really bother me eitherway but how to I cause them the least suffering...

[Graceleejenkins]

Re: Skillful Means

I always redefine things as I understand them.

Find the common ground. I can almost always find it and meet there, if I want. (Once in awhile, I may not want to, and I want to hold my own ground. Maybe not good. It usually involves someone trying to tell me where a woman's place in the world is.). Gassho, Grace.

[natezenmaster]

Re: Skillful Means

In such a circumstance, I usually go with "I believe in being kind and helping others." Saying anything other than that or searching for a way to make them happy seems to compromise the genuineness that I strive for and that I believe, along with unadulterated honesty, is the essence of a Buddhist practice. Anything else, IMHO and for me, seems to confuse the matter while also making me feel disingenuous. But... working at seminary, I understand this is a working and daily relationship..

Best wishes, Nate

[Koshin]

Re: Skillful Means

In such a circumstance, I usually go with "I believe in being kind and helping others."

It seems a reasonable good answer to this kind of questions. Who could argue with that?

[threethirty]

Re: Skillful Means

Thank you for your answers. They have all been fantasic, and I wish I would have had them in the moment. This job is definatly good practice and I try to do it as so.

Namaste and Gassho to you all

_/_

[Khalil Bodhi]

Re: Skillful Means

I don't know if this is appropriate for this forum but the Buddha is recorded as having given 5 factors for Right Speech in the Pali Canon as follows:

"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?

"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."

— AN 5.198

I wish you all the best.

Gassho,

Mike

[Graceleejenkins]

Re: Skillful Means

"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?

"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."

Mike

Ahhh, the crux would seem to me to be "the right time." It may not be the right time to say anything. Gassho, Grace.

[disastermouse]

Re: Skillful Means

"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?

"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."

Mike

Ahhh, the crux would seem to me to be "the right time." It may not be the right time to say anything. Gassho, Grace.

Or it may be that you're denying them the gift of an opportunity to broaden their tolerance. Perhaps in assuming they can't handle the truth, you are harming them with your silence.

The precepts are not there to keep us from error, they're there to measure our intentions as much or maybe more than our results. That you have considered their suffering at all means that, whether you make a mistake or not, you are following the precepts, IMHO.

Chet

[Graceleejenkins]

Re: Skillful Means

Referring to : "Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?

"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."


Ahhh, the crux would seem to me to be "the right time." It may not be the right time to say anything. Gassho, Grace.

Or it may be that you're denying them the gift of an opportunity to broaden their tolerance. Perhaps in assuming they can't handle the truth, you are harming them with your silence.

The precepts are not there to keep us from error, they're there to measure our intentions as much or maybe more than our results. That you have considered their suffering at all means that, whether you make a mistake or not, you are following the precepts, IMHO.

Chet

I think the precepts are there to help us be skillful as well as well-intentioned. I think the monk (and me) only meant that right time should be considered along with the other factors. For me, the other four factors are the easier, and so, for me, right time is the more skillful and where the rubber meets the road, the crux, in my practice. Is it the right time for me to respond? Or another time or discussion? Or is it even important to respond at all? Gassho, Grace.