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The 3 pillars of Zen: great faith, great doubt, great determination. Looks like you have all 3 don't expect zazen to always "slow the blender." sometimes it will speed it up.... Don't expect anything though, just sit.
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Thanks,
Kaishin (開心, Open Heart)
Please take this layman's words with a grain of salt.
For me, and I think this follows the Buddha's admonition to look deeper into things before you believe in them or adopt them in your life, the great test of knowledge is, "What would I do with this information?"
For example: The old meaning of life question.
The conclusion that I came to was, What would I do with this information if I had it? Well, if I didn't "know" what the meaning of life was, I'd get up every morning, go to work, come home, do the stuff I need to do, and be with my family, and maybe wonder what the meaning of life was. If I did "know", my day would look much the same, the only difference being that I'd be wondering about the next thing on my list that I didn't have any answers for.
Different when you say: How do I build a shelter out of sticks? or How do I cook a pot roast? These things have better answers - You'll be warm and dry in an emergency or you'll be full and happy with a tasty dinner.
The "don't know mind" is a wonderful way to look at it. It isn't that you are ignorant, but more that you do not let the lack of the "knowledge" (which is really our discriminating way of trying to understand mentally the things you must experience) cause discord in your mind and body.
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