Fear of failure

[ghop]

Re: Fear of failure

Hi Chet.

I have to admit that one of the best things about my experience with Treeleaf is "disastermouse." You are brave enough to say what I only think.

You are full of shit. But at least you know this and work with it. That's more than I can say about myself.

I used to always hold two jobs because I was afraid I'd lose one.

As a kid I always wanted two of the same toys because I feared they would break. Well, I don't have to tell you what a road that led me down...do I?

I think you are on the brink of a breakthrough if you just keep accepting that "everything that comes is gone forever, every time..."

I want to be real but I am so fake. How do I tell you this? I'm here because I'm afraid. I don't trust anybody...not buddha...not Jundo...def not myself. I am watching lives come undone everyday...lives that brought me here...buddha is preaching his finest sermon right before my eyes...shower chairs...wheel chairs...chemotherapy...parents who forget my name....life unfolds...it is a miracle that you are here...that, as Whitman said, the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

You mean alot to me. So what? Go find yourself. There's no one there.

gassho
Greg

[AlanLa]

Re: Fear of failure

This is what I tell my students every time they bring up some negative emotion/feeling that they are having: "Good for you!" It's great that you bring it up, because now you can better deal with it. Dealing with any feeling in the dark of the self is often not very productive, so if fear has gotten such a hold on you that you felt the need to speak up about it, then Good for you! That's a large chunk of the process of learning to get past it. Now you just have to keep moving on with that process.

Probably the best piece of wisdom I ever got was from a Native American woman who said that when you discover fear the best thing to do is to lean into it. Don't just dive in and don't avoid it, but lean in. Take your time with it, have a taste, a small nibble, and then move forward with increasing time and bigger bites. Here's a more mundane example: When you turn the hot water on in the shower before you get it, do you just open the curtain and jump in or do you reach in to check the temperature first? Most people check the temperature first and then ease their way in to the shower. Same idea. Ease your way into the fear. Chet, you might be a dive in kind of guy, but I get the sense that method isn't working here, so lean into that fear. Do a little bit and see how it goes, then if it's ok, do a bit more, and so on.

Here's a link to a nice article by Ezra Bayda about fear and how to deal with it:

http://www.tricycle.com/practice/bursting-bubble-fear

Be afraid, Chet, go for it 8)

[disastermouse]

Re: Fear of failure

Wow, guys, thanks for the encouragement. Alan: Trungpa talks about this 'leaning' into what makes us uncomfortable, Pema Chödron too, I think.

Jennifer, the disclosure is mostly so that I can't try to shit myself about it again, or shit you guys about it.

Chet.

[murasaki]

Re: Fear of failure

Another perfectionist here...Chet, thank you for putting that out there. I accept too. And understand you better.

Gassho
Julia

[disastermouse]

Re: Fear of failure

Another perfectionist here...Chet, thank you for putting that out there. I accept too. And understand you better.

Gassho
Julia

Oh I'm hardly a perfectionist! I'm not worried about the Rakusu being messy, I'm overwhelmed by the steps. As for being with people - let's just say my own flaws have always been an issue. I am an 'adequate-ist' (maybe less than) with the arrogance of a perfectionist!

Chet

[joshbrown]

Re: Fear of failure

Buddhism is very simple.

It's up to you to believe in Buddhism. Or not.

It's up to you to believe in yourself. Or not.

It's up to a smoker to realize the health risks of smoking. Or ignore them.

Do it. Or don't.

[AlanLa]

Re: Fear of failure

Chet, don't over think it
Just one simple step at a time
One stitch
Forget all the bullshit thought
And just do
One
Thing
At
A
Time
...

[disastermouse]

Re: Fear of failure

Buddhism is very simple.

It's up to you to believe in Buddhism. Or not.

It's up to you to believe in yourself. Or not.

It's up to a smoker to realize the health risks of smoking. Or ignore them.

Do it. Or don't.

'Believe' in Buddhism? Interesting choice of words. So you 'believe' in 'Buddhism'? I don't believe in it - no more than I believe that the sky is blue. It simply is the truth.

That said, embodying, expressing it fully is both instantaneous and takes quite a long while.

Chet

[Dokan]

Re: Fear of failure

This is something I've shared with Saijun and found inspired me:

Hito hari hito hari kokoro o komete!
(Stitch by stitch, sew with heart!)

I find that, as I sew, if I put my whole heart and mind into the present stitch it's always perfect...even when it isn't. Perfectly imperfect.

Although Saijun is done with his kesa now, maybe we can have a fukudenkai soon on Google+ as I know several of us are actively sewing.

Gassho,

Shawn

[Saijun]

Re: Fear of failure

This is something I've shared with Saijun and found inspired me:

Hito hari hito hari kokoro o komete!
(Stitch by stitch, sew with heart!)

I find that, as I sew, if I put my whole heart and mind into the present stitch it's always perfect...even when it isn't. Perfectly imperfect.

Although Saijun is done with his kesa now, maybe we can have a fukudenkai soon on Google+ as I know several of us are actively sewing.

Gassho,

Shawn

Hello Shawn,

"Done" isn't exactly the right term...and I'll be right there with you once it gets going!

Metta and Gassho,

Saijun