Broken Bones Zen

[ctpowers8]

I was attacked a week ago coming off of work by people trying to get RX from me. After telling them I don't write RX and am not an MD they proceeded to beat me, leaving me with 4 cracked ribs fractured jaw and torn meniscus and cracked patella. I tried to lay down and meditate but with norcos they gave me I was so out of it and I kept thinking I was having all these sattori experiences and I was in Kensho. I decided to use the time to try sewing practice and it has had a real positive effect. I am working on a Rakusu and then hope to try a Kesa to replace my 15 year old worn chan kesa. Through this practice I have begun to empathize with Dogens thoughts on the kesa. Each stitch showing when I am mindful and when I am not and the pattern itself linking me with others in this chain of transmission back to the Buddha. I will try and post more when I am feeling better.
Cheers and Gasho,
Chris

[Risho]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Wow! Addiction is so damned powerful.

I hope you are feeling better; you will be in my thoughts. Did you go to the doctor to make sure you are all good (well at least as good as can be considering)?

[Graceleejenkins]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

I'm so sorry. I hope you have a speedy recovery. You seem to at least be on the way with sewing, and you seem to be handling your reactions with respect to anger. I'm very impressed. Take care, Grace.

[chessie]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Oh! Best wishes for smooth recovery! Ann

[Tb]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Hi.

Get well.
We'll be here.

Mtfbwy
Fugen

[Taigu]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Hi Chris,

I am sorry to hear about this.
I am also glad that you see the value of this pointless sewing.
These guys could have been great Boddhistavas in disguise? Or plain sc..?
In my linited experience, nobody is fully one or the other.
Just the matter of choosing the non-choosing path or keeping the game of having and loosing.
These guys need to be helped and punished. Both. And life will provide both.
Make sure you sew every stitch for them. Make sure you surrender your beliefs and ideas in every stitch as well.
This kesa thing is most precious and totally ordinary at the same time. Don't make it too special.
Choose one and you loose it.
Do what is being done. And it is done.
Simple.
Dharma.
Sitting.
Being.

Nothing is broken here.


gassho



Taigu

[KellyRok]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Hello all,

Chris - Wow! I am so sorry. May you heal quickly and do whatever you can to get through it. Please know that we are here with you whenever you need to chat, vent, whatever.

I've yet to experience violence like this, so I have no wise words to offer. Just please know that my heart is with you in your recovery. You sound so strong and 'clear' even in the midst of a med-induced foggy mind. I wish you well. Come back to us when you can.

Gassho,
Kelly/Jinmei

[Kyonin]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Chris, I am terribly sorry you had that experience.

Like Taigu Sensei says, they need to be taught and punished, since no one deserves violence like that . I really hope you get well soon.

Now about your practice, I think you took the smartest approach. To meditate, sew and think about Dogen's words is pretty awesome if you ask me.

Please heal fast and get back here!

[Hoyu]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Dear Chris,

Sorry such a bad thing has happened to you!!! Nobody should have to suffer because of someone elses selfishness. Those guys could have killed you and they didn't even care! Why?! To a healthy mind this makes no sense. How do they justify their actions to themselves? I Just don't get it!? Did they at least get caught? I just worry for the next person they do this to.
Hope you recover from this without too many scars(physical as well as emmotional).

Gassho,
John

[Hogo]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Best wishes on getting healed soon, both for you and your attackers. Always sorry to hear of such things but a reminder of an unfortunate reality.

Be well.
Gassho~ Dave.

[Shohei]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Hi Chris
Thank you for sharing your very valuable lessons with us!!
Jonesin' Bodhisattva are very indeed tough teachers, who will eventually, be students of an even harsher teacher, I am afraid.
I am just going to echo that Its very sad, however I am very glad you are "okay" (as im sure you are too!!). Time will heal most of this.
I'm glad you finding a great teacher in sewing too! your assailants and you will be in my metta tonight.

Gassho
Shohei

[Nenka]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

What an awful thing to happen! Good to hear you're on the mend.

As Shohei has said, you will be in my metta practice . . . and those guys too.

Take care.

Gassho

Jennifer

[Onshin]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Sorry to hear about your run-in with addicts, hope you recover soon, I know whats it like (occupational hazard for us gays). I also know what painful lives those attackers have having know people hooked on drugs. Lets hope they get the help they need soon, before they do even more harm to someone or even themselves.

[Jundo]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Yes, much Metta to you ... may you be healthy, and at ease in all your ills.

Much Metta to those who attacked you, victims of the devils of greed and violence, desperate to fill a hole within their self. The true "evil doer" is the longing and violence or the drug addict. That does not excuse their behavior, either in society's laws or in the Karma of their actions causing harm to both you and them. However, we chant and sincerely hope ...

May they be free of suffering, may they feel safe and still.
May they be be free of enmity, may they be loving grateful and kind.

If they felt such way ... free of suffering, free of enmity ... they would not have attacked you. Thus, we chant this with your attackers in our hearts.

Also recognize that, at times in the days which follow, it is perfectly natural and human to feel resentment, anger back toward them, depression and despair at your situation (I am not saying that you will, but humans tend to do that after such things happen). If so, do your best to just recognize these passing thoughts and emotions and let each go. Neither should you feel resentment and anger toward yourself for feeling so or any of it. Perhaps try a bit of our "Nurturing Seeds" recommended Practice ...

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1730

These Devil-Bodhisattvas handed you important Teachings and "opportunities for Practice" ... the hard way.

Gassho, J

[ctpowers8]

Re: Broken Bones Zen

Thank you all for your kind words and well wishes. It is very interesting how, as many of you have elaborated on, this act of violence can be used for practice. I was in shock after it first happened the last physical confrontation I had been in was some 17 years ago and I had forgotten how much getting punched and kicked hurt. What I did notice is that it allowed me to see some of the fruits of my practice and even deepen those practices. One of the things that amused me and gave me a painful laugh was thinking back after the attack happened I was in pain and fully present of the pain but while I was riding in the ambulance with the EMT's I started to get gas, maybe from being kicked multiple times or anxiety, and all I could think of was I don't want to fart in front of these strangers. I caused myself more pain in those few moments because I was still attached the social stigma associated with this natural bodily function. The last thing I will add before I become disoriented from my medicine is the irony of the whole situation is that I am now getting those medications they probably beat me for.
Take care all
Gasho
Chris