Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

[TrevorMcmanis]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

is it to late to be apart of the jukai ceremony this january?i have never sewn a rakasu but i most certainly can in about a month i have some experice doing stiches in kesas and the like.thanks for your time-trevor

[Jundo]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

Hi,

Here's a very modern, western description of Zen Practice, Teachers and a Sangha ... but it was, I feel, as true in ancient China or Japan as it is in 21st century London or New Jersey. Don't let the humor detract from the serious point:

A 'Zendo' is so much like a gym or 'health club' (a health club for dropping the whole body-mind, and not just dropping a few excess pounds around the middle). We provide the weight machines, we provide general guidance and instruction in how to use them, demonstrate how to do the stretches beforehand and tips on which muscle groups to focus on, offer talks and reading material on proper exercise. From that point on ...

... you're on your own, and ya have to do all the heavy lifting by yourself, for your 'self'.

(we are always around the gym if there is a question ... or you need to share or a bit of moral support. Same for your gym mates. But that's about it).

I cannot burn one calorie for you, all I can do is offer some advice on diet and nutrition. I can 'spot' you as you pick up the weights, but you have to move them up and down on your own ... every day. We can push you if you fail to show up for awhile, but we can't chase after you. It is a very lonesome activity ... practicing by yourself, with your 'self' (you cannot even wear an Ipod in this gym, or chat up the girl or guy next to you cause we must 'work out' in silence ... although you are free to hang around in the 'tea room' and joke and schmooze with your gym mates between sets).

Of course, the point here is not just to get into a bikini for summer ... but to be "One with the Universe" and transcend life and death. But, basically, same idea (and lack thereof)! 8)



Taigu and I are the two coaches and personal trainers who walk around, give pointers and offer criticism of bad technique. We also encourage and push ... sometimes with sugar, sometimes with a bit of vinegar (Taigu has a bit of the old drill sargent in him...



I am more a giddy Richard Simmons type ... if you remember him).



I'm here every day, almost without exception ... but I cannot do anything for anyone. We do not spoon feed "getting into shape" ... there is no "magic diet pill" ... and one has to get on the stairmaster and sweat for a certain number of minutes each day. We can't 'spoon feed' anyone ... this is a practice of "pull one-self up by one's own bootstraps" (THAT's a Koan! How does one do that?) and all we can do is point you in the general direction for you, your self, to head by your own "me myself and I." We don't expect any particular loyalty beyond the advice we give on diet and workout ... but ya have to have some trust in what we are saying and "work the program, stick to the diet plan" we hand out. You have to give it some time, stick with it too ... don't complain if, after two months, one does not have 'enlightenment' or 'six pack abs' yet.

Rakusu sewing is a stairmaster to nowhere (Actually, more than a few similarities ... because, in both, we push push push forward sincerely ... step by step ... and there is no place to go! And that gets us where we need to go). One cannot stand by the side of the machine and say "that looks pointless" and then complain because your love handles don't vanish.



Now, being a Yankee ... I have a very practical view of Rakusu sewing (I sometimes call myself a 'pragma-mystic'): (1) If one wishes to dedicate themself to Buddhist Practice via a Jukai, one should dedicate their 'self' enough to at least sew the little Rakusu as a symbol of dedication ... otherwise, for me, it is like dedicating yourself to gym program without being willing to show up and sweat that little bit (2) Rakusu sewing teaches vital lessons in "non-attaining", a life of impermanence and "imperfection", seeing the "sacred" in the most ordinary of things and activities, pouring the "self" into the action of the moment and dropping resistance to circumstances etc. etc. ... i.e. the "Buddhist Practice" that one is supposedly dedicating oneself to (3) rakusu sewing is our tradition and a vital link with tradition ... and should be honored for that reason ... just like one wears a wedding band when married, a silly custom by itself. Show some respect for traditions and commitment!

Now, Taigu and I do not demand you to sacrifice all your independence, give us your wealth, hang our picture in your bedroom and worship at our feet (even the image makes me a little queasy) ... but we do demand enough trust and compliance with what we are saying that folks "get on the Zen Stairmaster"!



Gassho and "Just Do It", ya bunch of wimps ... Jundo

PS -

Trevor wrote: is it to late to be apart of the jukai ceremony this january?

Hi Trevor ... Hmmm, why don't you wait until next year, when we begin again. The funny thing about this "training" is that it is how one lives every day ... seeking to avoid harm to self and others (not two), learning the Buddha Way. The Jukai just represents that. If you are doing that, you are already "living by the Precepts and committed to this way." What is more, the Rakusu should not be rushed, even though there is nothing to attain. It is a slow stitch by stitch, like all of life. You should make sure that you are at home in this Sangha as well.

[Jundo]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

By the way ... I hope that my light hearted "Richard Simmons" like comment above does not take away from how serious the point is ...

... this practice is about life and death, truly.

[chicanobudista]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

By the way ... I hope that my light hearted "Richard Simmons" like comment above does not take away from how serious the point is ...

...and remember...even Richard Simmons made his students cry. So. He wasn't always sugar and spice. :P :mrgreen:

[Stephanie]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

Now that my anger has settled, I just want to clarify where that anger came from, for what it's worth.

The anger had nothing to do with Taigu being a "drill sergeant" or insisting on the rakusus being done a certain way.

It had to do with the way Taigu communicated things. I am very wary of accusing others of being "selfish" as a way of shaming and putting them in their place. I am also wary of selecting the obedient members of a group as examples. These are psychological tactics I believe are emotionally harmful. I am "immune" because I know them so well, but to see them used at all makes me angry, especially in "my" sangha.

I personally refuse to be talked to or treated in certain ways, and will not silently accept it.

Taigu has apparently decided I am not worth his time to address, and perhaps we can agree the feeling is mutual and leave it at that.

The other sangha members can decide what they are willing to accept, and I can submit to a group decision that it is OK for Taigu to speak to you all like that, but I cannot put myself in a group of people addressed in such a manner.

I am willing to submit to authority figures but only if I respect that they are deserving of their authority, and my determination of such is based on how they deal with people. I respect authority figures who are just and impartial and who treat those with less power than them with dignity and respect, and consider their lives and situations.

"You haven't yet sewn a rakusu because you're a selfish salon intellectual who comes here just to chit-chat and is not living this practice" is about as unfair a characterization as I think is possible of what people in this sangha are actually doing. I have been inspired this Ango by the sincerity and effort of the people in this sangha, the things we are all living and practicing with, and struggling and stumbling along the way, but always getting back up.

[chicanobudista]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

And just because I am a Pol Sci wonk and a bureaucrat........is there some kind of list posted here of those who DID sign up for Jukai??

[Nenka]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

By the way ... I hope that my light hearted "Richard Simmons" like comment above does not take away from how serious the point is ...

As long as you don't put on the shorts. :P

Nah, seriously, the whole gym metaphor is a pretty good one.

Now, Taigu and I do not demand you to sacrifice all your independence, give us your wealth, hang our picture in your bedroom and worship at our feet (even the image makes me a little queasy) ... but we do demand enough trust and compliance with what we are saying that folks "get on the Zen Stairmaster"!

And that's good too. I think I've seen and learned enough here to be comfortable enough to say that next year I'm going to sew a rakusu and participate in jukai. (So, Trevor, looks like we're going to be in the same "class of 2011"!)

[Taigu]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

Hi Stephanie,

So... I don't treat people with respect and dignity. I spend my time scolding and being the displine guy. In fact, I am a despicable person unworthy of my responsability and authority...

I am not sure your anger has settled. Maybe could you apply to yourself the questions of Byron Katie? Just a thought, reallly...

Is all this true? Do you think it is true? Give me a stress-free reason to believe it is true.Turn it around...
As I do the work I can only see that I know this voice in you, I know it too well, and my job is not to identify with it. I also know my resistance to authority or my tendency to always challenge authority ( French Karma).

But clearly, I don't see how I have dealt with people repeatedly the way you experience it. The job of the teacher is not always to give goody-goodies and sweets but to challenge the the voice of the ego and, guess what, the ego hates it...

gassho to Buddha Stephanie

Taigu

[Taigu]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

Hi again,

You are right about the fact that I could have spoken more directly to you in the past. Mea culpa.

one more little thing...The space I am talking about is the space of sitting Zen, anymore Taigu this, Treeleaf that in there?

gassho

Taigu

[AlanLa]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

Stephanie, you like straight talk, so here is some. You need to step off your 100 foot ego pole.
Everything you write is some form of an "I" statement, and you need to give it up. You did a whole thread insisting there is no self, so let your "self" go and do the work!
Let it go.
Repeat, LET IT GO!

I hate to be dualistic, but at some point you need to either let it go or let us go. We are willing to help, have been trying to help, but you have to take the step off the 100 foot ego pole and let someone else catch you, and that requires some faith that WE will catch you. I don't rely on Jundo or Taigu. I don't communicate with just Jundo or Taigu. I rely on and communicate with this whole sangha, this group of people that have joined together in this unique way to support our practice, a practice that does not go the way we plan hardly ever. And that's the Whole Point! Because without Treeleaf my whole practice goes to shit, and that's where you sound like your going, all because it's not the way you want. You keep saying your not young and naive, but a true grown up knows there are times when they don't get what they want and just have to let it go.

Stephanie, you have a terrific intellect, and you rely on it very strongly, but it's not enough, but how's all that intellect working out for you in your practice? Not so well from what I can see here lately. So you have to let it go. A little faith in Treeleaf and all of us that make up this sangha can conquer a lot of fear, so I wonder these two things:
1) How long can you keep fighting your self like this? Because you're not fighting any of us.
2) What are you afraid of? Your self?

Gassho to the Kannon in you.....

[AlanLa]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

Just a little more, Stephanie...

Taigu wrote a call to action:

Treeleaf is not a salon to discuss exciting issues, try to talk philosophically and give one's opinion about this and that. It is a practice place. Sitting and sewing.

And you wrote this:

Jundo appealed to me to come up with a service project for the sangha and I put a lot of effort into developing and refining an idea, but when the next step was feedback from the rest of the sangha, the thread fell to the bottom of the forum, untouched and forgotten. There it still sits. For all the enthusiasm expressed about the idea, no one actually wanted to take action

Sometimes we fight that image in the mirror. I ask again, who are you fighting?
Gassho to the Kannon I hope you find in your mirror.

[Keishin]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

Hellos to all posting here
Had some thoughts after reading the various posts
bear with me:
Zen practice, in my 28 years of exposure to zen buddhism, balances not only the autonomic nervous system in zazen as Gudo Nishijima Roshi explains it, but also the whole of one’s personality. If male, feminine aspects emerge and if female, masculine aspects emerge. Most people enjoy the sweetness and gentle natures many male zen masters display their ‘maleness’ hasn’t gone away, and I am not implying here that it is not masculine to be sweet or gentle (please also note I said many--not all I don't want a list of all the ornery tough guys of zen thrown at me)
I am saying that in my experience I have observed that among long time practitioners their personalities/natures appear to ‘balance’ And I also am saying that this balancing (in my experience—which is anecdotal and not scientifically based) tends to bring out in women traits we typically associate with men, and when we see these traits in women we experience them as abrasive; whereas the feminine traits which are brought out in male practitioners are generally experienced as more ‘pleasant.’
These are my experiences and my observations. I am making generalizations here for the illustration of a point. I am not seeking to cause disharmony.
I am merely remarking upon my own personal observations.
In zen there is no male and female. In our culture and our society there is.
In sitting zazen over time I personally have observed--for lack of better words: a balancing of one’s nature: nothing is excluded, and those aspects and traits of one’s personality which have been quashed, curtailed, cropped, lopped, denied—they find their expression and the form of their expression.
Women become quite formidable, there is power, strength, resilience---not that these aren’t traits found in what is deemed ‘feminine’ but these are aspects of the feminine our culture, our society don’t typically portray as feminine.
The last thing I want to open up here is a male versus female discussion about what constitutes what.
As far as practice goes the differences don’t make a difference.

From where I sit, there is nothing wrong with Stephanie, or any aspect of Stephanie, never has been. The longer she sits the more all aspects of her nature will just naturally balance. They are doing that right now, and not just for her, but for us all.
Zen turns men into sweetie pies and women into iron mountains: that’s my experience in sitting with White Plum Asangha (Maezumi Roshi lineage), One Drop Zendo (now Tanden Zendo), Shodo Harada Roshi (rinzai); I have encountered women in my own Soto lineage who sit on a regular basis but not many—most of the time I’ve been the only one, or one of two present, one of a scant handful in a roomful of menfolks.
My comments here are offered to help in developing an understanding, an understanding of subtle aspects of long term practice.
Above comments in this thread include remarks about ego and such: well that isn’t the sense I have at all. To label something one doesn't understand is irresponsible.
Understanding means refraining from premature conjectures, it means observing.
As I write this I realize I may have stumbled upon the answer (to a long held question of mine) as to why so few women are drawn to zen buddhism, yet Tibetan buddhism (so I hear) is very popular among the ladies. Could it be all those fierce warrioresses?

Maybe someday someone will do a study and research on this stuff and get a thesis out of it!

My purpose is not to make factions or create disharmony. Often I don’t say anything. My posts are more often on the succinct side.
Now and again I do go on a bit as I have here.

I appreciate your kindness and patience in reading through my hairbrained hypothesis based on my informal observations.
And I am going to ask for yet another kindness and additional patience:
Just don’t.
Just don’t get the kneejerk response out: “How can you say that about women not being strong, why my mother used to …..and my grandmother….if you kept your apron on….
Buddha didn’t want women in this practice…” and what all and what not. Just don't.
As I said above, but it bears saying again:
My intention is not to open up a male vs. female discussion, my intention is not to create disharmony.
My intention, my intention is to share SOMETHING I HAVE OBSERVED DURING 21+ YEARS OF SITTING. I think it is of interest to note as a phenomena and I think it may be worthy to consider as the tentative generalization it is AND THEN LET IT PASS THROUGH CONSCIOUSNESS UNOBSTRUCTED—as with other thoughts: mere brain farts. If useful, good, then apply in the correct place and time, if not, then pouf!gone and nothing to trouble anyone or anything about.

Nothing is ‘wrong’ with Stephanie. Nothing at all. At all. Teachers and students usually work things out, they wouldn't be teachers or students for long if they didn't.

Again, thank you all again for your kindness and your patience.

[AlanLa]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

Thank you Keishin for that very interesting and quite possibly correct perspective.

Stephanie, I fully concede to your feminist arguments in general about power and oppression and I fully support your struggle against such forces. I just believe that you have wrapped yourself so tightly in those arguments that you have created a highly intellectualized egoistic (100 foot pole) "self" that is counterproductive in this situation here at Treeleaf, thus the calls to let it go. Do even buddhist teachers like Jundo and Taigu have power? Yes. But are they oppressive? I don't think so, but if you do then you need to either find some way to work it out with them, as Keishin mentions, or find new teachers that will give you what you want. In either case, my bet is teachers will tell you to let it go, because that's the Zen Path we're on.

[Nenka]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

How odd it is that I think I agree with both AlanLa and Keishin (whose observations are quite interesting!)

I'm a good ten years past having anything useful to say about feminism or "the feminine." I'm also reluctant to jump in here, as I see this teacher/student conflict as being between Taigu and Stephanie and only Taigu and Stephanie. However, here it is in this thread.

I agree there is "nothing wrong with Stephanie." But I also see an ego issue, and it's one I've experienced myself from time to time. This business of nursing wounds, of lamenting yet cherishing the antiauthoritarian, outsider image while denigrating other sangha members--perceived as favorites--as "obedient" (yes, I know you're really calling them spineless sheep) troubles me. It's the kind of thinking that, for me anyway, has led to much unhappiness and loneliness in the past. Let it go, as others have said. Or maybe "sit with that," as Jundo would say. The more you try to explain it, the more defensive you get, the worse it sounds.

Stephanie, I hope this is helpful, as it is my intention to be. We've never communicated directly or anything but I've seen your posts around and I've found some of them to be quite challenging and thought-provoking (one way or another :wink: ) and helpful to my own practice, for which I thank you. I believe many of us here have tried to give you good advice with the best of intentions . . . even Taigu with his cutting words.

And, at this point, I'm just going to stop and take my nose back out of this. Hope the teacher/student rift can be amended.

Gassho.

[Shogen]

Re: Where are all the guys gone?...Rakusu blues

Jundo,Taigu,Eika,Perry,Erik,Jinyu,Yugen,Jennifer,A lanLA,Keishin Deep appreciation to you all for the time and thoughtfulness of your posts. It makes one realize the true "GEM" Tree Leaf.
Stephanie,
Please take the time to read each post carefully without thought of responding but absorbing their content. if you don't feel the warm embrace of the Sangha it will be a point truly missed. My best wishes for your journey and practice. gassho shogen/zak