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展道 渺寛 Tendō Byōkan
Please take my words with a big grain of salt. I know nothing. Wisdom is only found in our whole-hearted practice together. -
For privacy reasons, I would not without some permission. If were were contacted by a family member, I would by happy to open a special page for the person, even conduct some memorial service (much as we are having this week for Parinirvana). We have had one in the past like so.
Gassho, J
SatTodayALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLEComment
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I don't know.
I like that this forum allows to feel the presence of the deceased, or people who have chosen a different way and are less active.
But my question on funerals is about the ones left behind, not to create a memorial.
If you enter a sports club, or workplace, you sometimes hear stories from the past about people who did important things, nice people who used to be there.
But mostly, they are gone, gone further in health or from this form.
This forum function of the Zendo is a memorial in itself.
Like Schroedinger's cat, people live forever.
Gassho,
Danny
#sattoday治 Ji
花 KaComment
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Hi Danny,
I’ve been thinking about your question. Organ donation & cremation for me. (Would much rather my body were lain out in the woods to feed the animals and decay naturally, but that probably won’t happen.) Scatter my ashes on the mountain, and into the garden, and into the water. Then, I’ve always said, no service, no memorial, just remember me in your own way.
But lately a few people I know have died with similar directions. With no burial and no service, and the immediate family taking care of the ashes, there was no sense of closure, no paying of respects, no goodbye -- they were just gone suddenly. So I have changed my mind.
Have a party, how about a BBQ or a picnic somewhere nice. Roll in the grass, fly a kite, blow soap bubbles. Play “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong and lots of other music. Eat, drink, laugh, feel a little bad that you’re enjoying it so much. Buddhist stuff? I like your idea of the candle-lighting, maybe someone could read a little Dogen or Rumi while that happens, as the sun is going down. And have anything else that is comforting and reassuring to the folks left behind, it’s all for them.
Gassho
Lisa
sat today
P.s. From now on I will refer to the dead as “people who have chosen a different way and are less active”.
Last edited by Byokan; 02-06-2015, 01:06 PM.展道 渺寛 Tendō Byōkan
Please take my words with a big grain of salt. I know nothing. Wisdom is only found in our whole-hearted practice together.Comment
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I don't plan on attendingRe: What should a/your Buddhist funeral be like?
..on a side note re: death and dying... the Salvation Army up the street says people about to die are being "Promoted to Glory", while a nurse I know says such people are "circling the drain". Very different perspectives.T
Gassho
Daizan
Sat today..nodded offComment
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We had always hoped to end our days like Philemon & Baucis, but alas, apparently that isn't to be. I want my funeral to be whatever gives my mate the most comfort possible. I suspect that it'll be held outdoors among the trees; sky above, Earth below, wind in her hair; she'd draw strength and solace from that. The cheapest cremation available ($695 at our local funeral home), in my robes & rakuzu, perhaps urned in my raku mizusashi; the one with the broken and glued-together lid (appropriate somehow). No one but myself would appreciate the Heart Sutra; I'm considering getting my cardboard cremation container ahead of time, and writing it out on the lid myself. Were I to be in attendance, "Hector the Hero" at the beginning and "Flowers of the Forest" at the end would be nice; but we know of no pipers here (I might record them myself, while I can still play). I'd like for an 8X10 of myself (my avatar picture) and a box of good Japanese incense to be mailed down to my previous zendo, where my sangha can perform their traditional memorial service.
I like Jundo's idea of being scattered on the mountain; but I wonder if looking up at the ridge would give her peace in remembrance, or rekindle a sense of loss. I'll have to ask her.EmmetComment
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A friend of mine recently passed unexpectedly. After his family had a funeral (which I have no details of), our employer hosted a memorial dinner where all his chef friends (he was a chef himself, and that's how I met him!) took different parts of a 30lb pig and prepared them. For major US holidays, he would often host pig roasts himself, in his backyard where he also tended chickens and grew his food... I'd say 100+ people showed up for the dinner. The projector had pictures of him from his life and his girlfriend gave a beautiful speech. We laughed, we drank, we reminisced about his quirks and kindness, and we cried. It was absolutely beautiful seeing how many people he touched and to know that each of us did not have to be alone in our love and sorrow. I'm tearing up right now.
Anyway, I don't know about the actual funeral ceremony... but I definitely want that. I want my loved ones to be able to connect with each other after I'm gone. A big old party!
- June
#SatTodayComment
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I want a "Weekend at Bernie's" type send off then stuff my ashes in to a wicked huge bottle rocket and shoot it off...
Oh yeah, if I didn't have inner peace, I'd completely go psycho on all you guys, all the time. Carl Carlson
#SatTodayOh, yeah. If I didn't have inner peace, I'd go completely psycho on all you guys all the time.
Carl CarlsonComment
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Hello,
This is so apropos. Spent the life fertilizing. Returned to fertilizer: enjoy the tomato!
Gassho,
Myosha sat today"Recognize suffering, remove suffering." - Shakyamuni Buddha when asked, "Uhm . . .what?"Comment
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Unless a Soto Zen presence suddenly springs up in Indonesia (one can but hope!) between now and the time of my demise (some would say my 'demise' came about many years ago, but that's another story
), my funeral will likely follow the Chinese Mahayana tradition of my wife and her family. See here for a 'non-denominational' Buddhist funeral service; while not exactly the same, the local ceremonies follow the general pattern described here: http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/buddhist_funeral.pdf
I do like this idea as well, though: https://urnabios.com/
Gassho,
Bryson
sat todayComment
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For those who are interested in green burials, here's the web site for the place where my husband and I plan to be buried: http://www.molesfarewelltributes.com..._Services.html
_/\_
L.
sat2dayComment
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I've thought about this a lot, actually, and I want my "funeral" to be a party for friends and family. I plan on leaving some money for the purpose of allowing people to get together as they feel necessary, to enjoy each others' company and have a meal and/or drinks at my expense. Memorializing or eulogizing not necessary or expected....I figure that I will be the one person not in attendance. I would prefer to be cremated, and my ashes disposed of however my family feels is appropriate....if nothing else, just scattered in the wind. As ash, everywhere and anywhere will be my home.
I kind of envision things as portrayed in the song/video "Going out in style" by the Dropkick Murphys. I'd like my friends and family to have a good time, a happy time, and mourn or celebrate as they see fit. No need for ceremony for me.
Gassho--
JimH
SatToday!Comment
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