A question on Anger

[JohnsonCM]

Re: A question on Anger

I'd love to do martial arts again, but I wouldn't be able to for a few reasons.

I hurt my back pretty good in the military and am trying to get them to pay me so I can get to a chiropractor (not covered under my insurance :evil: ) and until then, I'd be affraid I'd hurt myself worse.

And second, Master Dogen has said that before you can truly understand Zen, you must first know poverty. While I don't think I quite qualify under his exact meaning, let's say that I'm not too far off. :lol:

[disastermouse]

Re: A question on Anger

Are you angry?

Chet

Not at the moment, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that it is an issue I sometimes have. My patience is short more often than not and I tend to get upset.

Do you realize, then, that at this very moment you are talking about an imaginary event?

Chet

[JohnsonCM]

Re: A question on Anger

Chet,

I guess the best way to answer this is that I do know that, but I find I don't always remember it. Perhaps that's the key, mindfulness. As Jundo said, about the mind theater and the essay from Thich Nhat Han (Man I hope I spelled that right) maybe I'm not being mindful enough of it. Not remembering that it is really something that I have created and can uncreate just as easily. Plus, I suppose it has alot to do with the attachement I have to things, like that papyrus, or the book I'm reading that was "lost" today when my wife cleaned the house.

[Jinyu]

Re: A question on Anger

Do you realize, then, that at this very moment you are talking about an imaginary event?

Chet

Hi everyone!

I think Chet his pointing at something quite important here!
I would like to add the idea that there is also the fact that this is a spiral kind of thing.
"First" you feel Anger, or you realize Anger. Then the Fear of that anger showing his "horrible face" again...
And then you find yourself stuck in something very tricky were Anger and the Fear of the future moment of Anger
is just a big blend ...

Well, i suppose I don't help much with that but that's what comes to my silly mind ... :roll:

Deep Gassho,
Luis/Jinyu

[Jundo]

Re: A question on Anger

Chet,

I guess the best way to answer this is that I do know that, but I find I don't always remember it.

I believe that may be the lifetime, ever changing, 'Study Thyself, Know Thyself' face of the practice. Turning theory into practice.

As with the martial arts, that too will get easier with practice ... although we may never be perfect at it (not until we are Perfect Buddhas anyway ... just ask my ever suffering wife right after a little husband-wife kafluffle).

In the meantime, we just take it day by day, case by case. Studying thyself, trying to realize (in the meaning of "make real") Wisdom and Compassion in this life. Mastering the art as all too human Bodhisattvas, even if not 'perfect' like a Perfect Buddha.

Gassho, J

[Jundo]

Re: A question on Anger

I just thought of this from Seinfeld ... which can sometimes resemble my "Buddhist Practice" more than I care to admit ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5513mXmQbw4[/video]]

[BrianW]

Re: A question on Anger

I just thought of this from Seinfeld ... which can sometimes resemble my "Buddhist Practice" more than I care to admit ...

Aha as a fellow Seinfeld fan, I knew there must be a reason I was so attracted to your teachings! Interestingly that episode came from a real life experience of one of the writers whose father was actually using the technique of saying "serenity now" when he became upset. The writer found his father yelling this at the top of his lungs and thought that it really was not meant to be used in that fashion. This does bring up a good point of not trying to repress or ignore anger. Just telling yourself "I am not experiencing anger" will usually not work out that well. As mentioned above in this thread contextualizing your anger can be much more useful.

I guess one point I would add is we should not be too hard on ourselves. As JohnsonCM brought up kids...they can really push your buttons. I found myself losing my temper on more than one occasion, but tried to leave the situation when the anger got in the way of making sound parenting decisions. My dad has a really bad temper and thus I learned some bad habits from him. Nevertheless, I never used physical punishment, never said anything hurtful, and when I did blow my top I would apologize. Sometimes I would catch myself in the act of yelling and just stop...say I am sorry and cool down.

If I know that I will be facing a difficult conversion with someone and have time, I will do a bit of zazen beforehand. Doesn't always work, but in a number of situations it has been invaluable.

Gassho,
Jisen