Suggested Caring Alert System ...

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  • Jundo
    Treeleaf Founder and Priest
    • Apr 2006
    • 39065

    Suggested Caring Alert System ...

    These words posted by Jinho ...

    What one gets at Treeleaf ... is also a mutual tremendous caring and support which is absent at many sanghas.
    ... and her being away for several weeks due to losing her computer, brought up something I have thought about for awhile.

    From time to time, one of us may be in hospital, have a personal emergency (or move on from this life). The rest of us would have little way to know. So, please consider leaving instructions with a close loved one who might, when they have a moment and things settle, let us know.

    Many of us would want to send our love and support, a kind word ... flowers!

    ... and, if suitable, perhaps add a thought for you to our weekly dedication for health and peace, or in our recital of Metta.

    These events of life are just what they are, coming and going, no place to go ... but it's nice to have people to care when we're not here.

    Gassho, Jundo

    ______________________________________________

    PS - Oh, and if anyone has a friend or close family member whose name or memory they would like to request to be added to our weekly dedication or Metta by the whole community ... just write or post, and I or others in the Sangha would be happy to do so.

    PPS- JohnH also made a very good suggestion ...

    Some kind of "buddy" system could work. If members know each other well enough, they could swap contact details. You could start a thread that lists members and their buddy, for example: Chet and Stephanie. If one "goes missing" you can contact the other.
    Please feel free to do that here or, when looking for someone, always feel free to start a new thread such as "Hey, has anyone seen Jack? Please PM me if in touch with him"
    Last edited by Jundo; 01-23-2015, 06:07 AM.
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE
  • disastermouse

    #2
    Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

    What an awesome idea!

    Of course, we could just leave that info with you too, if we feel the teacher bond is close enough. Personally, I would have no problem leaving you my address, phone, and my mom's address (from where I could always be located).

    Chet

    Comment

    • Shugen
      Treeleaf Unsui
      • Nov 2007
      • 4535

      #3
      Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

      Good Idea! I'm all for it.

      Ron
      Meido Shugen
      明道 修眼

      Comment

      • Jundo
        Treeleaf Founder and Priest
        • Apr 2006
        • 39065

        #4
        Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

        Originally posted by disastermouse
        What an awesome idea!

        Of course, we could just leave that info with you too, if we feel the teacher bond is close enough. Personally, I would have no problem leaving you my address, phone, and my mom's address (from where I could always be located).

        Chet
        Yes, that is fine too. But sometimes, none of us may realize that someone is absent (for being in hospital or such) for many weeks, even until after their return.

        Remember, around here, it is common for folks to take a time to go off on their own (you have, from time to time, Chet) ... and we do not disturb that. Or, folks simply leave ... and we do not chase after people who wish to try a different way. It is hard to tell the difference between that and someone's being ill or in transition.

        So, an "emergency alert" system by a family member has some benefits and such.

        Gassho, J
        ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

        Comment

        • scott
          Member
          • Oct 2009
          • 138

          #5
          Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

          Originally posted by Jundo
          Remember, around here, it is common for folks to take a time to go off on their own (you have, from time to time, Chet) ... and we do not disturb that. Or, folks simply leave ... and we do not chase after people who wish to try a different way.
          Please help me with this one. Often people do not want to be bothered if you don't hear from them in a while, but in my experience, if you don't know they don't want to hear from you, most of the time they appreciate care being offered if you can do it in a way that is free of any of your own agendas, such as working out your own past guilt. That's what I've come to believe anyway. No?

          Thanks ... Scott

          Comment

          • Shohei
            Member
            • Oct 2007
            • 2854

            #6
            Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

            Very good idea!!

            I have this same arrangement with a very good friend of my in WV, And as you have suggested here, Jundo, we also have an agreement for someone close to us to let the other know whats up if we cannot.

            As for bothering each other.. well we have an agreement, as he is a gaming buddy and dear friend( He helped me with my PTSD a ton, as 1st gulf war vet he knew all too well of that stuff the mind deals ya). Anywho we check in every so often if one of us in MIA so to speak. A private message on our gaming board, failing that a quick text message or a phone call. Yeah there are times when were off wrapped up in life and in context here i think it would just make sense to have a little poke to make sure were okay. That said, for folks wishing for some time away and not wanting to participate they could simple change there location in their profile to Away or the like - perhaps consider it kinda like compassion for those who care.

            Gassho, Shohei

            Comment

            • Jundo
              Treeleaf Founder and Priest
              • Apr 2006
              • 39065

              #7
              Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

              Originally posted by scott
              Originally posted by Jundo
              Remember, around here, it is common for folks to take a time to go off on their own (you have, from time to time, Chet) ... and we do not disturb that. Or, folks simply leave ... and we do not chase after people who wish to try a different way.
              Please help me with this one. Often people do not want to be bothered if you don't hear from them in a while, but in my experience, if you don't know they don't want to hear from you, most of the time they appreciate care being offered if you can do it in a way that is free of any of your own agendas, such as working out your own past guilt. That's what I've come to believe anyway. No?

              Thanks ... Scott
              Yes, sometimes I drop a short "have not heard from you for awhile, thinking of you, how are you?" if I have not heard from someone in the Sangha for a long while ... But it is our traditional way in Zen not to press too much, not to chase after someone (nor to chase anyone in the door).

              For example, we have some regulars in the Sangha taking a little journey right now, needing a little space. It is an old tradition of monks who would wander in and out of the monastery, and take to the hills, at various seasons and times in their lives. It is part of the Practice, in fact.

              Gassho, J
              ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

              Comment

              • disastermouse

                #8
                Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

                Originally posted by Jundo
                Originally posted by disastermouse
                What an awesome idea!

                Of course, we could just leave that info with you too, if we feel the teacher bond is close enough. Personally, I would have no problem leaving you my address, phone, and my mom's address (from where I could always be located).

                Chet
                Yes, that is fine too. But sometimes, none of us may realize that someone is absent (for being in hospital or such) for many weeks, even until after their return.

                Remember, around here, it is common for folks to take a time to go off on their own (you have, from time to time, Chet) ... and we do not disturb that. Or, folks simply leave ... and we do not chase after people who wish to try a different way. It is hard to tell the difference between that and someone's being ill or in transition.

                So, an "emergency alert" system by a family member has some benefits and such.

                Gassho, J
                I'm not sure if my family is reliable enough or tech-savvy enough to entrust with this - oddly. It's not that they don't care, it's just that they most certainly are not in the loop enough to know that I'm a frequent contributor to an 'online Sangha'. First, I'd have to explain for the umpteenth time what a 'Sangha' is (Me: 'It's like a church, Mom' Mom: 'Buddhist's go to church?' Me: 'No, Mom - it's an online website that functions as a Sangha which is sorta-but-not-really like the Buddhist equivalent of a Church.' Mom: 'How can you have a Church on the internet? You know, I just use email and play solitare on that thing' Me: '*sigh*').

                I may be able to entrust my little sister with the task... But she's unlikely to know the ins and outs of my life either. Actually, you all here are just as, if not more likely to know the context of my life as my family. Come to think of it, maybe that needs to be remedied.

                I think now that Stephanie is back, I could entrust her with the task...

                Chet

                Comment

                • Dosho
                  Member
                  • Jun 2008
                  • 5784

                  #9
                  Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

                  This is a great idea Jundo!

                  I think my wife would be tech savvy enough to figure out how to get in touch with you if something happened to me, but making a point to have a discussion with her about it is well taken advice.

                  I encourage everyone to do the same for the more dire emergencies. As for trying to get in touch with people we just haven't heard from in awhile, I'm not as sure how that would be accomplished without possibly treading on some "down time".

                  I'm just glad this sort of thing gets discussed here.

                  Gassho,
                  Dosho

                  Comment

                  • jrh001
                    Member
                    • Nov 2008
                    • 144

                    #10
                    Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

                    Originally posted by disastermouse
                    ...
                    I think now that Stephanie is back, I could entrust her with the task...
                    ...
                    Chet
                    Hi,

                    Some kind of "buddy" system could work. If members know each other well enough, they could swap contact details. You could start a thread that lists members and their buddy, for example: Chet and Stephanie. If one "goes missing" you can contact the other.

                    JohnH

                    Comment

                    • Jundo
                      Treeleaf Founder and Priest
                      • Apr 2006
                      • 39065

                      #11
                      Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

                      Originally posted by jrh001
                      Originally posted by disastermouse
                      ...
                      I think now that Stephanie is back, I could entrust her with the task...
                      ...
                      Chet
                      Hi,

                      Some kind of "buddy" system could work. If members know each other well enough, they could swap contact details. You could start a thread that lists members and their buddy, for example: Chet and Stephanie. If one "goes missing" you can contact the other.

                      JohnH
                      This is a very good suggestion, and I will add it to the main post above.
                      ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

                      Comment

                      • KellyRok
                        Member
                        • Jul 2008
                        • 1374

                        #12
                        Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

                        Hello all,

                        I also think this is a great suggestion! Not too long ago, I had asked my husband, "If I die suddenly, would you please let my Sangha know?" Of course he first laughed at me then said 'yes'. He know where and how to find you all...

                        But I do like the buddy system idea too.

                        Gassho,
                        Kelly (Jinmei)

                        Comment

                        • Shinko
                          Member
                          • May 2009
                          • 165

                          #13
                          Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

                          As one that lives over 2000 miles from family that no doubt will not post anything about me here. The buddy system sounds like a very good idea to me as I have had some interesting diagnoses lately and one never knows what will happen.

                          I do not fear death but I'd rather not leave others wondering what became of me. Trust that while there is breath in this body.. I will find WIFI! :wink:

                          ~Gassho~

                          LindaW
                          ~Gassho~
                          Shinko

                          Comment

                          • Dojin
                            Member
                            • May 2008
                            • 562

                            #14
                            Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

                            Great idea!
                            i love it!
                            i will talk to my girlfriend and ask her to do just that in case of emergency.

                            Gassho, Dojin.
                            I gained nothing at all from supreme enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called supreme enlightenment
                            - the Buddha

                            Comment

                            • Rabbit

                              #15
                              Re: Suggested Caring Alert System ...

                              I think the whole idea of this, is in fact an excellent practice to have, I know that I shall talk to my wife about it and make sure that she can get ahold of the sangha to let yas know, if something comes up...but I also really like the idea of the buddy system as well. The reason for this is, sometimes we are in realtionships or situations where one person may follow this path, while their partner, parent, friend or whoever has been asked may be of another way and not understand why we have made the request and why it would be important to us. So by having the buddy system as well as this, we can be sure that there is someone that can reach us and to get in contact with the sangha and inform everyone of the situation as to whaat is going on with us...thus leaving us with a clear mind for zazen.

                              A fantastic idea.

                              Gassho,
                              Rabbit

                              Comment

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