Jukai and the Rakusu

[Eika]

Re: Jukai and the Rakusu

Okay, Fugen, you apparently enjoy winning and... nitpicking . I care less and less about it (I still do sometimes :wink: ). Thank you anyway for being patient with me.
Enjoy your day.

gassho


Taigu

I know you guys are just joking with one another, but it reminds me of something that happened at work a couple of years ago. I was in the talking to the secretary for our department when another colleague (one who is often moody and difficult) came into remind the secretary of what she thought her job should be. The secretary took it in stride and the colleague left. I commented that I might not have been able to hold my tongue like that and the secretary said, "I don't have to be right all the time anymore." It really left an impression on me because it struck me how much more mature that approach is. Not being right all the time. There are times to stick to your guns and there are times to let things roll off your back. Anyway, seemed relevant to internet forums in general.

Peace,
Bill

[Taigu]

Re: Jukai and the Rakusu

Thank you Eika, it is a very relevant point. As human beings we are sometimes not right. As parents, peers, friends or teachers as well. An internet forum is a very strange field, we all know how great, inspirational and also dangerous it can be. For words are understood in so may different ways by people. And we are lacking some important channels of communication sometimes.We try to relate to each other in a balanced way, and truly, I don't want to be unpleasant to people, if I am, I always apologize. And I think everybody here does. As a young sitter I used to be so offensive and extremely sharp, so I meet this quality in people, I tend to ask for a bit more flexibility. Yes, we all learn to say thank you, to drop the funny pokes and jokes to just be exposed, as it is. Not easy.
At the same time, humour is a great way to make a point, to convey something that somebody could not take otherwise. I appreciate people's humour sometimes, they help me to see something which I would not be ready to see. And there is also another issue, let me tell you a story: once in a training period where I was in charge, somebody came to me during a public mondo ( question and answer between students and teacher) to ask a question: my answer was so direct, so strong that everybody witnessing the scene thought I was over the top, on the verge of being a bit abusive. Everybody felt so... exept the very person that asked the question, he felt really met and was so deeply touch ( as I was) by our verbal exchange. So when one is outside, one doesn t always understand what is going on. As a matter of fact, the cuddly bear has now pretty much given up that style because there are so many other ways to relate to other people, humour being one of them.
Writing, behaving, relating and teaching with as much respect as possible is very important, but sometimes too much political correctness can lead to a very dry communication where nothing happens, you should attend a business meeting of Japanese people, nothing is discussed, no disagreement, everything is smooth because everything has been decided before and nobody is risking to loose face. This kind of meeting looks like a joke to us. And there is very little humour. At least here, things and people are very alive in their difference. Wonder!