DON'T MISS OUT!!!

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  • will
    Member
    • Jun 2007
    • 2331

    DON'T MISS OUT!!!

    TASPG: Hey Sally. You look like your hard at work.

    S: Tell me about it. (vigorously scrubbing carpet with towel). I just can't seem to get this stain out. I've tried for hours.

    TASPG: Well. You can stop your scrubbing and throw away those unneeded detergents and scrubbing tools. This is what you've been waiting for.

    Introducing:


















    That's right. ZEn can help you get those pesky unwanted stains out that carpet.

    BUT LET'S NOT STOP THERE !!!. Throw away that tiresome mop, and squeegee !






    TASPG: Hey Billy.



    B: Hey T.V. ad spokesperson man.

    TASPG: What's got you down?

    B: Well, there's this girl I like, but she never seems to notice me.

    TASPG: She doesn't huh? Don't worry. I have just the thing for you.








    B: ZEN? What's that?

    TASPG: Zen is the all around, all purpose, Date in a package. That's right. Just sprinkle a little ZEN on you, and before you know it you' ll have girls falling for you in no time. Here have a look at one of our satisfied customers:

    Tom: You know.Before I started using Zen, I was just an average Joe. I could never get the girls to talk to me, and everytime I spoke I just didn't know what to say. Then I tried ZEN and things have really changed (5 girls walk up in pink Bikinis and put their arms around him. He smiles and and his teeth sparkle)

    TASPG: That's quite a smile you have there Tom.

    Tom: Thanks T.V. ad spokesperson guy.

    TASPG: You guessed it. Say goodbye to that dull smile and say hello to ZEN. Zen has so many great qualities that WE JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT THEM ALL IN THIS AD.

    Good for:

    Anemia
    Cardiovascular stimulation (say goodbye to exercise)
    Dietary supplement
    facial smoothing cream (that's right it'll take years off in front of your eyes)
    Paint primer
    Vision enhancer
    Rocket fuel

    AND THE LIST GOES ON!!!

    Don't miss out on this one time offer. We'll give you two cartons of ZEN, a $2000 value, for only $19.99. Yes. $19.99. But wait! we'll also throw in a bottle of Bodhicitta, a $300 value, for free.

    That's a $2300 worth of ZEN for only $19.99.

    DON'T MISS OUT!!! Dial 1 800 000 000 NOW!!

    May contain side effects.






    Buddhatogo products limited
    [size=85:z6oilzbt]
    To save all sentient beings, though beings are numberless.
    To penetrate reality, though reality is boundless.
    To transform all delusion, though delusions are immeasurable.
    To attain the enlightened way, a way non-attainable.
    [/size:z6oilzbt]
  • prg5001
    Member
    • Apr 2008
    • 76

    #2
    Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

    That's funny.

    I'll have 2.

    Thanks,

    Paul

    Comment

    • Shohei
      Member
      • Oct 2007
      • 2854

      #3
      Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

      :lol: Thank you Will!
      Deep Bows,

      /me drops some zen in his coffee... its also a prescription grade laxative- Without the perscription!

      Comment

      • FeMonky
        Member
        • May 2007
        • 50

        #4
        Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

        Snerk. LOL

        Comment

        • Tb
          Member
          • Jan 2008
          • 3186

          #5
          Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

          Hi.

          Thanks.

          Mtfbwy
          Tb
          Life is our temple and its all good practice
          Blog: http://fugenblog.blogspot.com/

          Comment

          • Tobiishi
            Member
            • Jan 2009
            • 461

            #6
            Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

            ...bunions, hammer-toe, restless leg syndrome, insomnia, rectal discomfort, sudden-onset hearing loss, tennis-elbow, ring-around-the-collar, black eye, amnesia, astigmatism, dirty fingernails, body odor, back hair, arthritis, olfactory fatigue, hat-head, whale-tail, cold sores, hunt-&-peck typing, dry-eyes, spasms, dispepsia, contact dermatitis, splinters, writer's block, gout, goiters, tone-deafness, jaundice...
            It occurs to me that my attachment to this body is entirely arbitrary. All the evidence is subjective.

            Comment

            • AlanLa
              Member
              • Mar 2008
              • 1405

              #7
              Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

              tiny print: when combined with a healthy lifestyle that includes following the precepts
              AL (Jigen) in:
              Faith/Trust
              Courage/Love
              Awareness/Action!

              I sat today

              Comment

              • Tobiishi
                Member
                • Jan 2009
                • 461

                #8
                Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

                Originally posted by AlanLa
                tiny print: when combined with a healthy lifestyle that includes following the precepts
                Well yeah, there's that... :wink:
                "And if you call within the next ten minutes, we'll throw in five more precepts Absolutely Free!!"
                It occurs to me that my attachment to this body is entirely arbitrary. All the evidence is subjective.

                Comment

                • will
                  Member
                  • Jun 2007
                  • 2331

                  #9
                  Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

                  "And if you call within the next ten minutes, we'll throw in five more precepts Absolutely Free!!"
                  LOL

                  Gassho
                  [size=85:z6oilzbt]
                  To save all sentient beings, though beings are numberless.
                  To penetrate reality, though reality is boundless.
                  To transform all delusion, though delusions are immeasurable.
                  To attain the enlightened way, a way non-attainable.
                  [/size:z6oilzbt]

                  Comment

                  • Myoshin

                    #10
                    Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

                    I can see this being peddled by Vince the Shamwow guy or Billy Mays.



                    Gassho,
                    Kyle

                    Comment

                    • Tobiishi
                      Member
                      • Jan 2009
                      • 461

                      #11
                      Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

                      when i die i want to be cremated, mixed with water and soaked up in a ShamWow.
                      It occurs to me that my attachment to this body is entirely arbitrary. All the evidence is subjective.

                      Comment

                      • murasaki
                        Member
                        • Mar 2009
                        • 473

                        #12
                        Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

                        /me frantically rubbing Zen on cellulite areas
                        "The Girl Dragon Demon", the random Buddhist name generator calls me....you have been warned.

                        Feed your good wolf.

                        Comment

                        • Dosho
                          Member
                          • Jun 2008
                          • 5784

                          #13
                          Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

                          Originally posted by Myoshin
                          I can see this being peddled by Vince the Shamwow guy or Billy Mays.



                          Gassho,
                          Kyle
                          Might want to rethink his endorsement!

                          Comment

                          • RDavid

                            #14
                            Re: DON'T MISS OUT!!!

                            I dunno, I've heard zen works wonders on unruly prostitutes..

                            Comment

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