My 9 year old asked me why I sit zazen?

[Hoseki]

Hi folks,


A couple of days ago my nine year old asked me why I sat Zazen. I couldn't really give me an answer. Now not being able to give an explination of my behaviour that's much beyond because I wanted too or I didn't want blank to happen is not uncommon for me so I'm not going to sweat that. That said, I wanted to pose the question to members of the Sangha.

So why do you sit? And how would you explain it to a child?

Gassho,

Hoseki
Sattoday

[Bion]

My 9 year old asked me why I sit zazen?

Hi folks,


A couple of days ago my nine year old asked me why I sat Zazen. I couldn't really give me an answer. Now not being able to give an explination of my behaviour that's much beyond because I wanted too or I didn't want blank to happen is not uncommon for me so I'm not going to sweat that. That said, I wanted to pose the question to members of the Sangha.

So why do you sit? And how would you explain it to a child?

Gassho,

Hoseki
Sattoday

Sitting zazen, I don’t hide or runaway from this, here, right now, I don’t cover it up with distractions and I am not carried by the currents of preferences and judgments. I sit zazen cause that way I experience everything freely and at ease, which tends to not happen during life off the cushion, and maybe afterwards I can bring that to the craziness of day to day living.

For the child: have you ever seen quicksand in cartoons or movies? If you fall in it in pulls you down the more agitated you are and the more you move and flap your arms and kick and struggle, the more difficult it is to get out. You’re doing the opposite of what is natural when you’re in there and that’s not smart at all. But if you stop and become still and find balance, you stop sinking and you see you are a part of the sand, so you can get out or stay afloat. When I sit zazen, it’s like that. I stop and become balanced and act smart. Because work, problems, school, friends, chores, nerves and all the things you and I do everyday are hard to deal with, kind of like getting out of quicksand.

(EDIT: [emoji23] nevermind, I saw the kid is 9! The metaphor works [emoji23] [emoji14])

Sorry for the ridiculously long comment


[emoji1374] Sat Today

[Nengei]

You mean your 9-year old doesn't understand Dogen's Fukanzazengi? I was hoping he could help me out!

You undoubtedly know and have experienced that in his stage of development, kids aren't usually grasping intricacies of non-tangible, expansive thinking (or non-thinking) or self-realization. But they are typically able to understand the difficulties and suffering of themselves and others, and to experience feelings of empathy. One idea might be to say something like When I sit this way, it helps me to find peaceful ways of thinking about and interacting with the world around me, to be content with how things work out in my life, and to help others. People who do zazen sometimes learn things about themselves, and figure out things about how the universe works. Like a beginner, a child does not need the full scholar's description, but something to help them have an understanding within their own experiences and ideas.

Gassho,
Nengei
Sat today. LAH.

[Seiko]

So why do you sit? And how would you explain it to a child?

When I sit this way, it helps me to find peaceful ways of thinking about and interacting with the world around me, to be content with how things work out in my life, and to help others. People who do zazen sometimes learn things about themselves, and figure out things about how the universe works.

Perfect!

Bows

Seiko
stlah

[Doshin]

I heard somewhere that “Zazen is good for nothing.” That should give a child something to ponder.

Doshin
St

[Seth]

Hi folks,
So why do you sit? And how would you explain it to a child?

I sit because it acts as my anchor for my mindfulness practice the rest of the day. Subsequently, mindfulness throughout the day helps me be a better person. So, I guess you can tell a child that it gives you a "superpower" to be a better person through being more aware and present throughout the day.



Seth

Sat/lah

[k1982]

It's lovely that your child is interested!

When my oldest asked me this (he'll be 20 this year) about 10 years ago I explained that it's just what dad does. I like to sit down and be quiet, and if you'd like to as well I would love to show you. Although he's interested in following the 8FP he never sat zazen and has no inclination to. I like that about him.

My 5 year old asked me this last year and I just said, "This is what Otousan does." He got into it. I like that about him.

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IMG20221001152507.jpg


Gassho,
Kyle
Isat2day

[Bion]

It's lovely that your child is interested!

When my oldest asked me this (he'll be 20 this year) about 10 years ago I explained that it's just what dad does. I like to sit down and be quiet, and if you'd like to as well I would love to show you. Although he's interested in following the 8FP he never sat zazen and has no inclination to. I like that about him.

My 5 year old asked me this last year and I just said, "This is what Otousan does." He got into it. I like that about him.

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Gassho,
Kyle
Isat2day

Ok, that’s adorable [emoji1]

[emoji1374] Sat Today

[Jundo]

My son used to think me bad because I was always having a "time-out" in the corner.

I used to tell them that, instead of "running around and doing stuff, worrying about stuff, thinking about stuff" it is good to sometimes just stop, not think, not worry, just rest for awhile.

That, I guess, got the point across. They would sometimes join me.

By the way, I do not think personally that we need to insist that our young children sit Zazen. Perfectly fine though if they ask to do so, or come over on their own. Otherwise, it is best just to create a loving home in which lessons of Wisdom and Compassion, the Precepts and other teachings of the Buddha are naturally passed down to our children. Let them learn about Zazen from seeing the place and effect that Zazen has in our lives Then, years from now, when they are grown ... maybe they will turn to it too (your child saying years from now, "That Practice had a positive effect on mom and dad, and they were good parents ... maybe I should try that too").

Gassho, J

stlah

sorry to run long

[Onki]

It's lovely that your child is interested!

When my oldest asked me this (he'll be 20 this year) about 10 years ago I explained that it's just what dad does. I like to sit down and be quiet, and if you'd like to as well I would love to show you. Although he's interested in following the 8FP he never sat zazen and has no inclination to. I like that about him.

My 5 year old asked me this last year and I just said, "This is what Otousan does." He got into it. I like that about him.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]8506[/ATTACH]
[ATTACH=CONFIG]8507[/ATTACH]


Gassho,
Kyle
Isat2day

How lovely!

Gasshō,

On

Sat today

[Ankai]

My 11 year old, Buddy, has grown up with me meditating. He was watching some Anime thing not long ago, and I found him emulating a character, sitting cross-legged, hands and fingers in that very stereotypical mudra with the index finger and thumb touching, eyes closed.. and he jumped about 3 ft in the air when he realized I was watching him.
I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was meditating like the guy on his show. So, I asked him if he wanted to learn how to do it for real, and now he's been sitting with me in my early morning meditations fairly regularly. I have to admit, I'm a little bit impressed that at 11 years old, he can actually sit in something approximating Zazen for at least 10 to 20 minutes.
I have sort of a thing going at work, also. When I arrive, I usually go into the chapel to sit for a while before my work day starts.
Some of the veterans who are living there over time have asked me what the hell I was doing, and I explained to them it was my morning meditation, and now I've got a small group of people who meets me there every morning trying to understand exactly what it is I'm doing. it's led to some fantastic conversations and there are a couple of people who are genuinely interested.
My youngest daughter, and my soon-to-be stepson, on the other hand, have absolutely no interest. Lol. I guess the function of some of the people around us is to keep us humble.

Sat.
Gonna sit.
Still working out who I'm going to lend a hand today.

-Karl

[Jishin]

So why do you sit? And how would you explain it to a child?

I sit because I am bald. But I understand not all bald people sit.

Gassho, Jishin, ST, LAH

[Hoseki]

Thanks everyone! I will got an idea on how to explain to her now.

Gassho,

Hoseki
sattoday

[joshr]

I demonstrate a pretty large number of ADHD traits and if I were a child now I would certainly have been diagnosed as such; As a kid it was lack of focus, forgetfulness, and impulse control, while as an adult I struggle with hyperfocus. My eight year old son demonstrates the same traits and was fortunately(!) diagnosed and we have him pointed in the right direction. When he asked about why I am Buddhist, I pointed out all the ways he and I are similar, how we know so much more about how to manage ADHD now, and that I started sitting "To try to get the little hamster in my brain to climb down off the wheel, or to keep my popcorn brain from overflowing the bowl.". Every now and then he comes downstairs for a five minute sit and a hug, so I will take it.

Hope that helps!

Gassho,
Joshua

Sat this morning.

[Choboku]

Sometimes I tell my kids that I'm trying to keep the cushion from floating away. Other days I tell them that I do it to take care of my brain so I can be a better dad.

Sat today,
Choboku