How to bring monastic best practices into lay life

[shikantazen]

All,

One of the questions in my mind lately is about how to bring the best practices from monastic life into lay life (people with families, those not living in monasteries). Wanted to share what I'm thinking and get your thoughts

I see the below valuable things in monastic life that can be imported into our daily life

- A regular schedule that doesn't give much free time (to the ego to run around). As Jakusho Kwong roshi says, "The ego is the grist and the schedule is the active grinding stone that wears us down and uncovers our buddhanature"
- Noble silence (even working in silence)
- Sitting in a good posture (back straight) most of the time (eating, study, service, zazen etc)
- Being with like minded people (sangha) and an environment that helps practice rather than being pulled away by the distractions of world
- More zazen
- Being in a community and dealing with the problems of living together (cooking, cleaning, doing the work, dealing with difficult people) and practicing living by vow

How to bring these into lay life

- Create a schedule (leaving little free time) and follow that.
- Noble silence is hard in regular world but practice not allowing "getting lost in thought" and just doing the thing at hand (as per schedule)
- Sit in the proper posture as much as possible (eating, working, study etc) instead of slouching
- Completely avoid distractions like TV/Youtube/Netflix, Surfing net, Social media etc. Use free time for dharma study instead
- Do more zazen if life permits
- Take on more selfless work that doesn't get you anything but can be more like an offering; helping family at home (cooking, cleaning, playing with kids etc), taking more common work at office that nobody wants to do or gets credit

Gassho,
Sam
ST

[Ryumon]

All work an no play makes Dogen a dull boy…

There’s a reason why such practices exist in monastic settings, and there are many reasons why you can’t wedge them into a family situation. It seem like you want to go too far rather than practice the middle way.

My two grains of rice…

Gassho,
Ryūmon (Kirk)
Sat

[Tai Do]

I also tried a lot to bring something along these lines to my life, especially during this Ango; but I found it not only difficult but also a source of dukkha as I would always feel guilty of not keeping my commitments. To say nothing about the kids jumping and screaming around me (no noble silence possible) and the great amount of angry thoughts that would inevitably arise as I came to see them as hindrances to my "monastic" environment. On the other hand, I think your idea is a good one, Sam, if taken with a goalless mindset, perhaps trying one simple practice at a time for some weeks until it became second nature... either way, thank you for your posting and will also try to create a little change in my life: perhaps the kids need a more strict schedule for them.
Gassho,
Mateus
Satlah

[Kokuu]

Hi Sam

I think that those are some really good ideas, and I have used many of them in my own life.

I do agree with other comments that there is no need to go for a really strict schedule (although you do you). In addition to having room to breathe, which in my experience increases the chances of sticking to your goals, I think that separating off certain things as religious and certain things as not is somewhat antithetical to Zen. Watch a movie, have some ice cream, all is the One Bright Pearl!

The thing I find most helpful is giving my day a structure, and using Zen forms to do that. You can begin the day by sitting, lighting incense and going for refuge, chant the meal gatha at mealtimes, do your chores mindfully, and end the day with the evening gatha. The day can rest on those bones.

As the Buddha told the lute player Sona, 'not too tight, not too loose' - if we create a tight structure, it is likely to snap, if it is too loose, we can end up aimless. Play with it and see what works for you, but I would advise to use yourself as your guide rather than some external idea of what practice needs to look like. Following a rigid schedule can end up constricting the life and joy out of practice. Have space just to be, to chat with a friend who is having a rough day, or to sit under a tree for a time. There is nowhere to get to, except right here, right now, so enjoy it.

As Shitou says in The Song of the Grass Roof Hermitage:

Let go of hundreds of years and relax completely.
Open your hands and walk, innocent.
Thousands of words, myriad interpretations,
Are only to free you from obstructions.

Give yourself fully to life. It is not about you.

Apologies for running long.

Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday-

[Jundo]

Hi Sam,

I so much appreciate the advice above, including about being not too tight, not too loose, like the lute string.

I will offer a further way that one might experience the monastery while out in the world: By finding the same insights and flowing out in the world, beyond all opposites. This is, after all, what the monastic is seeking through all her rituals, rigid schedules and silence. For example:

- A regular schedule that doesn't give much free time (to the ego to run around). As Jakusho Kwong roshi says, "The ego is the grist and the schedule is the active grinding stone that wears us down and uncovers our buddhanature"

Find the timeless, and the "no place to run, nothing in need of doing" within ... even as one needs to get things done, runs around and is bound by the 24 hours of the day without. Such is our Buddhanature on the move in life's daily grind. In this way, one gets the jobs done ... though there was never anything to do, nothing ever lacking. The monk, with her daily rituals and schedules learns nothing different.

- Noble silence (even working in silence)

Yes, best not to overtalk or get overly caught up in ideas and words. Today especially, in this age of floods of media.

But also, know the Silence (Big "S") which is both all words and ideas and all ordinary worldly silence, the Silence which is even present as bombs exploding and the greatest noise. The monk, with her daily silence learns nothing different.

- Sitting in a good posture (back straight) most of the time (eating, study, service, zazen etc)

Posture is good and healthy, and a balance posture supports a balanced mind. But also know that which is straight while crooked, crooked though always straight. The monk, with her focus on proper form, learns nothing different.

- Being with like minded people (sangha) and an environment that helps practice rather than being pulled away by the distractions of world

Yes, this is vital, and the Buddha recommended to know and surround oneself with good people. A Sangha community can support one on this path. At the same time, know that all "disturbance and distractions of the world" are not the world ... which is just events and situations. The "disturbance and distraction" is largely between your two ears in reaction to the events and situations. Learn to still the heart, and no event or situation can disturb. Even those exploding bombs are no distraction (even as our Buddhanature runs to the shelter for safety!) The monk, with her daily dealing with the pressures of monastery life, learns nothing different.

- More zazen

Yes, but never think of Zazen in terms of quantity, "more is better," or time. There is no measure, nothing lacking, no time, and all infinite time is fully contained in every single tick-tock of sitting Zazen. With such timeless non-measure in heart ... we sit for a time each day. Then, Buddhanature gets up and gets back to the daily grind and ticking clock, but with that same "no measure, no attain, no time" in heart. The monk, with her daily zazen, learns nothing different.

- Being in a community and dealing with the problems of living together (cooking, cleaning, doing the work, dealing with difficult people) and practicing living by vow

The whole world, and all of daily life, work and family, is "cooking, cleaning, doing the work, dealing with difficult people" and practicing "living by vow." One need not go behind walls, or put on black robes, to find that. The monk, who is in this universe as much as you, learns nothing different.

Gassho, J

stlah

[Rich]

I do have a routine of positive healthy activities but for me the most important thing is what am I doing right now. And doing nothing is great for appreciating the joy, wonder, beauty and peace of this awesome universe

Sat/lah


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Zenkon]

Sam - I think consistency is the key - come up with a schedule of activities and stick with it. We actually addressed this question in a Tibetan sangha to which I belong. This is the schedule I created for myself:

1. Wake Up Thought – How can I help myself, How can I help others,

2. Establish Daily Motivation

To seek as I can, in this body and life to avoid doing harm
To seek as I can, in this body and life, to live in a healthful and helping way, doing good
To seek as I can, in this body and life, to live for the benefit of all Sentient Beings.

3. Bodhisattva Vow

To save all sentient beings, though beings numberless
To transform all delusions, though delusions inexhaustible
To perceive reality, though reality is boundless
To attain the enlightened way, a way non-attainable.

4. Breakfast - Meal gatha
Earth, water, fire, air and space combine to make this food. Numberless beings gave their lives and labors that we may eat. May we be nourished, that we may nourish life.

5. Mid-morning -Verse of the Robe
Robe of Liberation boundless
Field beyond both form and formless
Wearing the Tathagatha’s Teachings (Ta-THA-ga-ta’s)
Vowing to free all sentient beings

6. Lunch – meal gatha

7. Dinner – meal gatha


8. Daily review of actions – how did I do on my motivation? What went well? How can I improve? How am I misconceiving things? How am I off balance?

9. Purification
Regret – acknowledge my mistake,
Restore the relationship - cultivate constructive attitude toward the other,
Resolve - vow not to repeat the action,
Remedial Action – meditate on emptiness

10. Verse of Atonement
All harmful acts, words and thoughts, ever committed by me since of old, On account of beginningless greed, anger and ignorance, Born of my body, mouth and mind, Now I atone for them all

I don't do all of these every day, but I am starting to incorporate as many of these as possible in my day. In addition, I find I can do "Insta - zazen's" periodically thru the day. Good luck

Gassho

Zenkon

[Chikyou]

Sam - I think consistency is the key - come up with a schedule of activities and stick with it. We actually addressed this question in a Tibetan sangha to which I belong. This is the schedule I created for myself:

1. Wake Up Thought – How can I help myself, How can I help others,

2. Establish Daily Motivation

To seek as I can, in this body and life to avoid doing harm
To seek as I can, in this body and life, to live in a healthful and helping way, doing good
To seek as I can, in this body and life, to live for the benefit of all Sentient Beings.

3. Bodhisattva Vow

To save all sentient beings, though beings numberless
To transform all delusions, though delusions inexhaustible
To perceive reality, though reality is boundless
To attain the enlightened way, a way non-attainable.

4. Breakfast - Meal gatha
Earth, water, fire, air and space combine to make this food. Numberless beings gave their lives and labors that we may eat. May we be nourished, that we may nourish life.

5. Mid-morning -Verse of the Robe
Robe of Liberation boundless
Field beyond both form and formless
Wearing the Tathagatha’s Teachings (Ta-THA-ga-ta’s)
Vowing to free all sentient beings

6. Lunch – meal gatha

7. Dinner – meal gatha


8. Daily review of actions – how did I do on my motivation? What went well? How can I improve? How am I misconceiving things? How am I off balance?

9. Purification
Regret – acknowledge my mistake,
Restore the relationship - cultivate constructive attitude toward the other,
Resolve - vow not to repeat the action,
Remedial Action – meditate on emptiness

10. Verse of Atonement
All harmful acts, words and thoughts, ever committed by me since of old, On account of beginningless greed, anger and ignorance, Born of my body, mouth and mind, Now I atone for them all

I don't do all of these every day, but I am starting to incorporate as many of these as possible in my day. In addition, I find I can do "Insta - zazen's" periodically thru the day. Good luck

Gassho

Zenkon

This speaks to me. I will give it a try! (Skipping the Verse of the Robe, as I haven't taken Jukai yet.)

Gassho,
SatLah
Kelly

[Jundo]

I expanded on my little comments here, running on about it as I sometimes do ...

Building A Monastery At Home

https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?20959-Building-A-Monastery-At-Home

Gassho, J

stlah

[shikantazen]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Thanks Jundo for the special post on this topic.

Gassho,
Sam
STLah

[ANDREALHOEKSTRA]

Kids

I would always feel guilty of not keeping my commitments. To say nothing about the kids jumping and screaming around me (no noble silence possible) and the great amount of angry thoughts that would inevitably arise as I came to see them as hindrances to my "monastic" environment.
Gassho,
Mateus
Satlah

I raised a daughter while trying to become a Soto Zen priest, working as a nurse. She died when she was 32, a sudden death. I am grateful for the time I had with her; however, I had many such moments, wishing I was in a monastery. So grateful I raised her, instead.

[Jundo]

I raised a daughter while trying to become a Soto Zen priest, working as a nurse. She died when she was 32, a sudden death. I am grateful for the time I had with her; however, I had many such moments, wishing I was in a monastery. So grateful I raised her, instead.

Hello Andrea,

Peace to your daughter and to you. We will dedicate all our sitting and all around here to your daughter.

Andrea, working as a nurse is Bodhisattva work.

And, if you have been practicing that long, and still feel the calling to priesthood, we have this doorway available, as you know:

http://opendoorsmonastery.org/

Gassho, Jundo

[Tai Do]

I raised a daughter while trying to become a Soto Zen priest, working as a nurse. She died when she was 32, a sudden death. I am grateful for the time I had with her; however, I had many such moments, wishing I was in a monastery. So grateful I raised her, instead.

Thank you, Andrea.

When I noticed how I was becoming attached to silence and form - after speaking with Jundo - I loosed up. I don't want my daughters to be seen as hindrances by their own father.

I'm so sorry about your daughter! May you be well and free from suffering; may she be at peace.

Gassho,
Mateus
Satlah

[Shonin Risa Bear]

Andrea metta.

gassho
ds sat

[Tai Shi]

I have recourse but to follow a schedule because mine for years is and was 5, 11, 5, 11 getting up early to take medications, late for medications, and in between, 11 nd 5, this is my schedule. So, much is expected of Ubasaku, mostly mine, and inevitable. Situation that is unavoidable.
Gassho
sat/ lah