Equanimity?

[Neika]

My wife and I were having a discussion that brought up a question.

How do we tell the difference between equanimity and repressed emotions or a stoic emotional state? How do we honestly tell the difference within ourselves and can we recognize the difference in others?

Gassho,
Neika

-st

[Seth David]

Great question! I’m pretty sure I don’t have the answer. But for me it’s about not clinging to my emotions, e.g. allowing my emotions to come and go naturally. It’s not about repression or being emotionless. Emotions are a natural part of life. Every emotion, whether positive or negative, is an opportunity to practice letting go. Maybe that’s equanimity. I’m not sure.

Gassho [emoji120]
Seth
ST

[Jundo]

I like Seth's response very much.

This week, I offered a talk on "equanimity" in our practice as being neither running into our thoughts and emotions (buying everything they are selling, getting tangled in thoughts, a prisoner of excess emotions, letting them run wild and explode, especially the harmful emotions of excess desire, anger, unreasonable fear and the like), nor turning away and running away.

We face them, bow, honor the natural human reactions: to be sad and grieve at a time of loss, to feel fear when there is a real threat, to feel some "righteous indignation" when seeing a social injustice or harm, etc. We do not seek to be free of all natural human emotions and reactions.

At the same time, our practice is to know and experience the clear, clear place beyond all thoughts and events, free of even sickness and health, birth and death, self and others. One encounters this open, boundless liberating wholeness EVEN AS one lives in this world where we experience death and sorrow, frictions, fear and the rest.

I suppose that the 'litmus test' is simply how this is working in one's life: If one is repressing, and finding that it is eating one up inside, steaming out one's ears, manifesting in harmful ways, then there are issues you need to deal with. However, if one finds that the wisdom of this practice is allowing one to face life's ups and downs in a good way, with peace and balance also knowing this world's still still center, then it is good.

Have a listen hear:

Here is the little talk on this from yesterday, and Master Dogen's poem ...

Kiku mama ni..........Just hearing
mata kokoro naki..........without extra mind,
mi ni shi areba..........the jewel-like raindrops
onore nari keri..........dripping from the eaves
noki no tamamizu..........are myself.

https://youtu.be/dcXfxpp9nwI

Gassho, J

STLah

Sorry to run long

[Bion]

I guess for me, equanimity means looking beyond my emotional responses to things and perceiving the nature of them, accepting that my reaction is to myself in relation to events. The discrimination of things is a purely subjective thing based on my particular set of conditions, so I remain mindful of that and mindful of my human tendency to generalize and universalize my own judgments as if they were the true nature of things.

Don’t know it this sounds like a whole lot of mambo jumbo .. Sorry. [emoji23]

[emoji1374] Sat Today

[Ippo]

Hi Neika,

I think a way to view this that might not have been mentioned directly is learning to "hold space" for what is happening, inside and outside ourselves. The natural oscillations in our emotional states is just a part of being human. Triggers for these are everywhere and in abundance. But most of our lives we've spent reacting to these states, often times, unskillfully. It's the same with our thoughts. We think therefore it IS, it must nbe true! Again, when we are caught in this contracted state (more relative, less absolute) of being we are not really "holding space" for what is actually happening and our world becomes confined, less unified, less whole and integrated, less in the flow of the boundless etc.

When we cultivate patience, energy, etc. we can 'hold' the experiences we are having and become non-judgemental obervers. This can help build the habit of being responsive (not reactive) and skillfill with what is happening now and moving in the world with more grace, humility, awareness, wholeness etc.

So, perhaps equanimity is to BE with whatever is happening, not a victim to whatever is happening and thereby blindly DOING. Even when there is a need to do something (right action) we can still learn to 'hold space' and be responsive, skillfull and mindful. Of course, this is a lifestimes worth of work .

As for the repressed emotions, actually allowing them to be felt in their entirety (we observe and notice) releases repressed emotions. Sometimes this is hard to feel all at once so we can "titrate" our awarness towards them bit by bit. Ultimately, feeling is healing. What is split off is not felt. The process of allowing our feelings to BE and unfold IS the process of CHANGE. This accepting (especially with non-judgemental awareness) of what is happening, can help us develop clarity around the specific feeling that is currently creating our experience and resolve it.

Bit of a rant, I have lots to say on this. Thank you for the question!

Gassho,

Ippo

SatLah