Sitting with depression.

[Meian]

Sorry to be so noisy but I am passionate about this topic. This is probably one of the most helpful things I have ever learned. It is effective for me to make a list of things I have complete control over vs a list of things I have no control over. Then take the things I don’t have control over and find out what I do have control over that might effect those things I don’t have control over and write those down.

For example, incomplete control: feeling tired at work. Complete control: acceptance and being effective despite being tired.

Practically, I can derive all of these actions from “feeling tired at work”:

-Go to bed and wake up at a reasonable time.

-Breathing exercises to wake up and less caffeine for less of a crash and better sleep.

-Eat healthier.

-Exercise regularly.

-Save alcohol for the weekend.

Gassho,

Tom

Sat




Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

Hi Tom,

I can relate to some of your methods. I am a devoted list-keeper, more as a way of keeping myself organized, on schedule, on target -- and as a way of prioritizing when I'm deep in the muck. Otherwise I'd forget most things except tech, coffee, and my daily/weekly routines. With the trade-off of some privacy, I make ample use of tech to help manage life with multiple chronic illnesses, but that's just me.

As you mentioned, I also have found it helpful to separate tasks and stressors into areas of control, or (sometimes) delegation. I have a tendency to take on other people's issues (as a 'fixer'), and sometimes others' issues land on me (boundary issues). Work in progress. At times when the fog is so thick I can't see or think clearly, I just look for one thing I can do -- an action, a task, a small change that makes an improvement. Washing dishes. Doing laundry. Stretching or gentle exercise. Box-breathing and feeling calm, aware, and alert at the same time. Any positive action that is a form of self-care, usually helps lift the fog a bit for me.

This is just what I find useful. Others' mileage may vary. Grateful to be reading others' ideas and hard-earned wisdom in this thread. [emoji120] Sorry to run long.

Gassho
-- stlh--

[Amelia]

Meian, I am much the same. Small increments give me something to focus on, and a sense of control, and having such, I am able to sometimes let go into the task, not thinking of the next one because the next one is written down somewhere and I can let that go as well.

Gassho
Sat, lah

[Meian]

Meian, I am much the same. Small increments give me something to focus on, and a sense of control, and having such, I am able to sometimes let go into the task, not thinking of the next one because the next one is written down somewhere and I can let that go as well.

Gassho
Sat, lah

Gassho2
{ st-lh }

[Hoko Steve]

Good morning,

Many great responses already, but wanted to stop by and say for me, just allowing myself space to be depressed without judgment has been super helpful. When i try and work through the depression on the cushion, i find that i place an unrealistic expectation that zazen should be able to fix the problem, and inevitably, i fall short. If i just sit with it and let it be what it is, i find it softens a bit with time.

Also…knowing when to sometimes NOT sit has proven valuable as well..though seems counterintuitive. Sometimes for me its needed.

best of luck and thank you for sharing!

Sat today

[Entai]

Mike,
I've lived with depression for many years. Honestly, there are times when I can't even sit on the cushion, let alone focus. But as we know, focus comes and goes on a good day. I think it's best to be gentle with yourself and with your practice. It's all day by day, moment by moment.
Gassho,
Entai

[Inshin]

I have really been struggling to maintain any clear awareness for the past couple of weeks in my sitting.



Mike

Seems like your are putting a great effort in your zazen. A great effort is much needed to keep practicing and returning to the cushion, but once on the cushion sometimes it works to drop any effort all together and completely surrender to sitting whatever arises. One of the best advices I got from Jundo in regards to dullness, was to "just be dull" (just don't fall asleep There's nothing to maintain in Zazen. Clear awareness and dullness are just states, impermanent, empty. Zazen is not an exercise in concentration and focus, it is an ultimate surrender to your true nature, without the need to change anything that arises or strive for any other state. Even if the true nature is not clear to us yet, even if we have to sink in the mud... And depression doesn't have to be an obstacle on your path, it can be a great fuel.

Sorry for the length.

Gassho
Sat

[Jundo]

One might say that Zazen is a radical letting be and letting go. Then the depression just becomes an object, like a table in the room or the weather outside. Nothing to resist. There is a great difference between sadness and hopelessness when resisted, and sadness and hopelessness experienced with equanimity and dropped resistance, nothing more than passing theatre. Suddenly, the dark view of life becomes not "the way things are," but simply what the mind is serving up for lunch today.

Gassho, J

STLah

[Bion]

One might say that Zazen is a radical letting be and letting go. Then the depression just becomes an object, like a table in the room or the weather outside. Nothing to resist. There is a great difference between sadness and hopelessness when resisted, and sadness and hopelessness experienced with equanimity and dropped resistance, nothing more than passing theatre. Suddenly, the dark view of life becomes not "the way things are," but simply what the mind is serving up for lunch today.

Gassho, J

STLah

I don’t know if I’ve sat with depression, and I’m hesitant to say I have, but I have sat with extreme anxiety, sadness, extremely worried, with physical pain, exhaustion etc…I have learned to sit with no resistance, but in ease and with a certain joy, and that has shaped the rest of my life and my approach to all strong emotions. Sitting zazen has taught me that there is a way to let go of what we cling to and trick ourselves into believing we can’t escape and has given me the tool to access that “joyful ease” master Dogen spoke of in my regular daily life, and that has been truly invaluable.

Sorry for running a bit long

[emoji1374] Sat Today

[Amelia]

Let us not forget that sometimes these things are best left up to a medical professional and not necessarily to be tackled alone on the cushion.

Gassho
Sat, lah

[Jundo]

Let us not forget that sometimes these things are best left up to a medical professional and not necessarily to be tackled alone on the cushion.

Gassho
Sat, lah

Fully agree! In fact, if one is not seeking medical or professional psychological assistance for their depression, they should not be sitting Zazen!

As well, they should only be sitting Zazen if their doctor feels it is a good idea to do so!

Gassho, Jundo

STLah

[bakera3312]

Let us not forget that sometimes these things are best left up to a medical professional and not necessarily to be tackled alone on the cushion.

Gassho
Sat, lah

Deep Gassho,

Tony,