Difficult Zazen

[Kiri]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions

As for John, the situation in Ukraine affected my practice. I was angry every day and I was having some terrible thoughts about our world leaders that I am ashamed of. On top of that I felt addicted to my smartphone and the social media from fear of missing the latest news.

In any case, I hope wisdom and compassion will prevail and peace will come soon.

Gassho, Kiri
Sat/Lah

[Kaisui]

Thank you to John for posting and to everyone here for their suggestions. I have been struggling as well lately with making time for practice, not sure how to describe why but I know the terrible news has been part of it. The advice people have been giving in this thread to just start with insta-zazen is so helpful, I started this morning this way and it is a very good way to start the day, I will do again tomorrow, and of course maybe sit more zazen after that. I really like Meian's way of describing it, how everything else can flow from this - 'the rest becomes the flowing stream.'

Sometimes the most difficult part for me is getting started. What I often rely on is instazazen as it works anywhere, and there is no pressure for me. This means that 1) I remind myself that I am just sitting, nothing else, and 2) I am just sitting for a minute, two minutes, whatever I can do.

The rest becomes the flowing stream.

Gassho, meian stlh

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Gassho,
Kaisui
sat

[Tai Shi]

All these response! from my friends who are practicing and sitting make me very happy and grateful.
Gassho
sat/ lah


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[DanM]

Will sit for you as well.

Certain time-tested mindsets (as I mentioned) have become essential to my practice, and help me through even "moment by moment" challenges.

I have written previously of some of those times, when all I could do was simply "be" with what I was experiencing at that time.

Ultimately, I have found that the only "tool" I really need to practice anywhere -- is "me."

gassho, meian stlh

Thank you Meian
Dan
ST/LAH

[Tai Shi]

Now Jundo excuse me I might go on for a while and please don’t censor my post. I am experiencing brain surgery pain and I notice something like heavy higher shrill noise like the worst tinnitus you have ever had. And this head and worse Ankylosing Spondylitis and arthritis in my hands. So everything is worse and I want to learn to sit all over again completely alone and without a bunch of stuff like a Buddhist altar and like I did when I was in the hospital and sitting all alone and haven’t done that much so learning all over again. See I wasn’t listening to my surgeon when he said maybe life with pain the rest of my life and maybe it will let up in a year or two. Then just a few months. Or perhaps the rest of my life brain surgery pain and AS and Osteoarthritis and these last years because I had surgery so I can live longer and I wasn’t listening to the whole thing. I am thinking if I can relax and just practice zazen I will understand if I have pain or not.
Gassho
sat/ lah


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[Tai Shi]

Took a hot shower, ate a piece of cheesecake, sat in easy chair, feeling relaxed. Time to sit.
Gassho sat/lah


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[houst0n]

I find some comfort in Shohaku Okumura's words (Antaiji monk, Dogen translator) from his commentary on 'the mountains and waters sutra' (sansuikyo) -- which I dearly love.

Even though we are really walking, we don't see our own walking. We don't really understand our own walking, yet we are actually walking. This is an important point. To know or not to know is not essential; in either case we are walking. That is our practice: whether we know it or not we are actually walking. That is what matters. We keep walking. When we don't see, our practice is based on trust or faith in the teachings of our teachers, or Dögen, or Säkyamuni Buddha.


To see that we don't know is the first wisdom. "Not knowing" is an important part of our practice.

"I trust what my teacher says even though I don't really understand it." That was my condition when I started to practice. I knew nothing about Zen or Buddhism, but somehow I trusted my teacher's way of life. I wanted to live like him. That's why I started to practice and that's how I could continue to practice. Now I have a certain understanding of what Dögen is saying, but more than forty years ago when I began to practice, I knew nothing. Even when I read Shöbögenzo I didn't understand. Nonetheless, this way of life attracted me. It wasn't an intellectual understanding, but maybe trust or faith -I was drawn to it. It's a kind of energy. It's not thinking. I didn't know, but somehow; my life knew.

"I had a lot of doubts about what Uchiyama Röshi was saying. But even though I struggled with doubt, even though sometimes I had many good reasons not to practice, somehow I couldnt stop. Something carried me toward practice, past the doubt, much deeper than my personal willpower or intellectual understanding could have. Sometimes it felt terrible; I wanted to do something different, But somehow I could not resist going to the zendö, even when consciously I did not want to.

t's not thinking. I didn't know, but somehow; my life knew.

I love that. We all immediately know what he means when he says that right? Is that Prajnaparamita? Is it just an expression of the Dharma Body of the universe? Is it another bit of Inmo? All of the above.

We know it in our bones. Even if we'll never really understand it. So that's why I keep sitting, even when I am crying for the world, or wanting to tear my own arms off. If it's a wild, chaotic, sad, emotional sitting; then that's what zazen is that day. I do it anyway.

Gassho.
./sat
Neil

[Koushi]

I must confess, with all that is going on currently in the Ukraine and with personal challenges, I am having more and more difficulty sitting zazen. I desire to do so less and less. Any advice?

From my experience, my best advice is to try to not add any additional burden, or feeling of guilt, to experiencing what life and the world is giving to you. If you can sit only for 30 seconds, then that is a perfect 30 seconds of zazen. No better or worse than a 30 minute timed sit. Allow yourself to drop the desire to sit longer along with the radical acceptance of everything else—as you can.

Some days I find I can sit with what is going on around me much easier than other days. Sometimes during a PTSD episode, I feel lucky if I can sit with things in totality for seconds at a time; however, when I stopped feeling guilty or putting pressure on myself to always sit as much or more as I did before, I quickly found that the weight lifted, along with time and just doing, led to longer sessions and more of an ability to sit when previously couldn't.

Be kind to yourself John. What's going on in the world the last few years isn't normal, and personal challenges and huge world events don't make it any easier. So, if you can manage a few seconds of equanimity, that's perfect. If you can manage longer, that's perfect too. If you can't at all, then be as gentle with yourself as you can. You deserve that as much as the world does my friend.

Apologies for running long,

Gassho,
Koushi
ST

[Rich]

I must confess, with all that is going on currently in the Ukraine and with personal challenges, I am having more and more difficulty sitting zazen. I desire to do so less and less. Any advice?

Gassho

John

SatTodayLAH

Always remember that the most important part of the world is right in front of you. So relax and enjoy that in a comfortable sitting position

I also have been caught up in the thirst to know what’s going on and trying to raise some money to help so I understand a little of your situation

Sat/lah




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[Tai Shi]

Meian I am very grateful but very unstable on my and thinking going now to doctors Metta please. Dr. Without Borders called to say thank you [emoji120]
Gassho
sat/lah


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[Tai Shi]

JohnS I am having the same problems and I am going to see the doctor because I can’t think of anything. See I had brain surgery and I need a little help.
Gassho
sat/ lah


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[Meian]

Meian I am very grateful but very unstable on my and thinking going now to doctors Metta please. Dr. Without Borders called to say thank you [emoji120]
Gassho
sat/lah


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Following your doctor's advice is smart thinking, Tai Shi, and you are on my metta list, don't worry. Look after yourself and feel better. [emoji120]

Gassho2, meian stlh

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[Kakunen]

Difficult Zazen

Hi

I recommend you to sit Zazen everyday.Zazen keep balance of your mind and check conditions.

And Dogen said at past time at Eihei Kouroku.I try to write in English.(This is not perfect translation)

Master Dogen said
When you will practice your own Zen practice,you will help all being.

And also Tenzo-roshi(This is famous story when Master Dogen was at Unsui.
Tenzo-roshi(master) said.
No one can do practice of my own practice.(Sorry not good translation)
自はこれ他にあらず。自分の修行は自分でしなくてはなりません。ですから他人も他人で自分の修行をします。 だから他人の心配をあなたがしても何にもなりません。
あなたがするべきことはあなた自身の修行であり、そして現実的に行動して他人を助ける
ことです。しかしまずしっかり自分のことをしなければなりません。
Adding movie of Master Dogen,at this situation.

これは私の意見です。This is my opinion.
If Jundo translate this ,I am very happy.

Sorry for bad English

Gassho
Sat today
Kakunen

[Jundo]

自はこれ他にあらず。自分の修行は自分でしなくてはなりません。ですから他人も他人は
自分で自分の修行をします。だから他人の心配をあなたがしても何にもなりません。
あなたがするべきことはあなた自身の修行であり、そして現実的に行動して他人を助ける
ことです。しかしまずしっかり自分のことをしなければなりません。

I believe that you are saying this, Kakunen:

Your own self is not found elsewhere or as some other. Your own practice cannot be done by anyone but you. Therefore, other people are other people, and only you can do your own practice. For this reason, there is no point in your being concerned about other people. What you should do is just your own practice. And what is more, if you do act realistically in this way, you will be helping others. However, what you must first do is firmly do what you need to do yourself.

Gassho, J

STLah

[Kakunen]

I believe that you are saying this, Kakunen:

Your own self is not found elsewhere or as some other. Your own practice cannot be done by anyone but you. Therefore, other people are other people, and only you can do your own practice. For this reason, there is no point in your being concerned about other people. What you should do is just your own practice. And what is more, if you do act realistically in this way, you will be helping others. However, what you must first do is firmly do what you need to do yourself.

Gassho, J

STLah

ありがとうございます。純道。
Thank you Jundo.

I need to learn more about English.Step by step.
This is my own practice,as I said.

Gassho
Sat today
Kakunen