Zazen like a dog in my lap

[Tobiishi]

In the past few months I've been finding myself during the day casually thinking back to my sit the evening before, and kind of characterizing it as far as how it felt and what kind of attitude I thought I had about it, both during and after. I've noticed that I often seem to sit "in defiance of" the arising thoughts, the ego, back pain, emotions, flights of fancy experiential stuff... and other times it's like I want to take the ego and the thinking and the whole package and just embrace it with something like compassion, and smooth down it's wild hair and tell it everything is going to be alright. I come from a background of recent drug/alcohol addiction, in recovery for about 5 months, and I wonder if I have warped my perceptions regarding my inner self. I don't think anyone would say either of my two "ways of looking at it" are wrong, but I think I'm missing something by looking for it, if that makes any sense. It's like sometimes I'm the monk sitting on the most comfortable fluffy zabuton ever made, and other times I'm the monk on fire.

Anyway, gassho
Kodo Tobiishi sat today (well, last night, but that's just when I sit)

[Jundo]

Hi Tob,

I think that the mind can be rather like a wild animal, "monkey mind," and that is one point of something like the 10 Oxherding Pictures.

Sometimes we pet it, or give it a wide pasture so it is tamed. Other times, we may have to pull the rope a bit.

In the end, the point is just to re-enter the marketplace of the world, with rider and ride just one ...

In Shikantaza, we tame ... not by whipping or wrestling with the thoughts, but by allowing, relaxing, standing still and calm, not teasing the animal nor playing its game, but by ignoring the beast until it becomes bored with us and passes by. However, some days one might need to hold on more for a wild ride.

Something like that.

Gassho, J

[Jundo]

P.S. - Maybe Rev. Shinshi, our actual horse whisperer and rider, will have something to say on this?

[Shinshi]

Hi Folks,

Well, this is likely to be longer than 3 sentences.

I guess I'll start by saying I think Tobiishi has it right. Sometimes your sitting is one thing, sometimes it is something else. And yet it always just is what it is. Sometimes you are sitting, sometimes you are on fire!

When you are working with a wild horse it is more linear. You usually start out on fire and then make progress. Wild horses are really interesting to work with as they are just wired a bit differently than a domesticated horse. One of the main things is that it takes longer to get them to trust you. There are various techniques to get them started, some rougher than others. But the one I really like is to just go sit in the pen with the horse. Take a chair and sit, pay them no attention. Maybe read a book. I guess you could do zazen. But you don't put any pressure on them. The interesting thing is that almost universally the horse will come to you to check you out. And the whole process is calm and quiet. They might come and hang out, they may come and then go and then come back but you just sit and let them be.

And then you can get to work. But you start out from a place of calmness where the horse can think through what is going on, rather than pushing him to get what you want. Just let the process start in a calm, safe manner. You can rope them and get busy fast but it is kind of a start quick end slow kind of deal. Starting slow and easy can get you to started from a better place that actually leads to more progress.

This is the other thought I have that might be relevant. There are some horse disciplines where the rider maintains a ton of control over the horse. The reins are kept taught and there is a ton of manipulation of the horses body via the reins and leg cues. You can go a long way with horse using this technique but it is not the way I was taught, and having that kind of complete control over the horse can be counter productive for the kind of riding I do. The control approach has the rider in control and the horse following cues.

Like I said, that can take you a long way. But to me it can really interfere with where I want to go which is to develop a partnership with my horse. In the kind of riding we do we want the horse to follow a feel - an intention. For great big animals they are very, very subtle and they can read body language better than I think any other animal. And they can do that both visually and in a tactile sense. If you think about it, you have an intention before you start walk. There is the intention to start walking in a direction. And where I want to get to with a horse is for them to read that intention and essentially become an extension of us as a team. We move together.

I am no great shakes as a trainer but I have gotten a few of my horses where we can work without reins, bit or bridle. Just working off our communication.

Bear with me, there is a relevant point coming up.

When I am working with a horse we start off with intention. Maybe it is just going in a straightly line. As long as the horse is following the feel I am completely neutral. No cues from me, the reins are completely slack, the horse is in control. If the horse starts to wander to the right I might give him a little bump to get back to straight. A light as possible, but as strong as needed. I kind of think of it like we are going down between tracks and if we are getting to the track then there is a correction to keep us between them. The newer the horse is to training the wider the tracks. Tracks narrow over time as the horse starts to get it.

But always if the horse and I are on the same page I am not trying to control the horse.

Some days there isn't too much correcting. Some days the weather might be changing, the wind is up, other horses are causing a commotion and so there is more correcting, more bringing them back between the neutral reins.

Ok, finally, Zen point! When we are sitting we want to try to keep ourselves between the reins. We want to start as calm as possible. Then, when we feel thoughts bubble up we deal with that as gently and subtly as possible. Just a quick little bump and return to neutral. No big deal. No yanking and pulling.

As light as possible, but as strong as needed.

The other thing I want to say is that for a certain period of my sitting, I sat sort of like the rider that has constant rein control. I would sit but I would be kind of busy. I would kind of sit waiting for the thought to come up and then I would dismiss it. But oddly I wasn't really sitting in the moment. I kept tension in my mental reins all the time! I was kind of actively "doing" zazen, and it was actually tiring. Eventually I read something by Danin Katagiri that meshed nicely with Jundo's teaching and it just kind of clicked for me that I needed to just sit Shikantaza - just really quiet down. Go to neutral. No reins until they were needed. And I think it really improved my sitting.

I hope all that makes sense.

Gassho, Shinshi

SaT-LaH

[Jakuden]

Hi Folks,

Well, this is likely to be longer than 3 sentences.

I guess I'll start by saying I think Tobiishi has it right. Sometimes your sitting is one thing, sometimes it is something else. And yet it always just is what it is. Sometimes you are sitting, sometimes you are on fire!

When you are working with a wild horse it is more linear. You usually start out on fire and then make progress. Wild horses are really interesting to work with as they are just wired a bit differently than a domesticated horse. One of the main things is that it takes longer to get them to trust you. There are various techniques to get them started, some rougher than others. But the one I really like is to just go sit in the pen with the horse. Take a chair and sit, pay them no attention. Maybe read a book. I guess you could do zazen. But you don't put any pressure on them. The interesting thing is that almost universally the hose will come to you to check you out. And the whole process is calm and quiet. They might come and hang out, they may come and then go and then come back but you just sit and let them be.

And then you can get to work. But you start out from a place of calmness where the horse can think through what is going on, rather than pushing him to get what you want. Just let the process start in a calm, safe manner. You can rope them and get busy fast but it is kind of a start quick end slow kind of deal. Starting slow and easy can get you to started from a better place that actually leads to more progress.

This is the other thought I have that might be relevant. There are some horse disciplines where the rider maintains a ton of control over the horse. The reins are kept taught and there is a ton of manipulation of the horses body via the reins and leg cues. You can go a long way with horse using this technique but it is not the way I was taught, and having that kind of complete control over the horse can be counter productive for the kind of riding I do. The control approach has the rider in control and the horse following cues.

Like I said, that can take you a long way. But to me it can really interfere with where I want to go which is to develop a partnership with my horse. In the kind of riding we do we want the horse to follow a feel - an intention. For great big animals they are very, very subtle and they can read body language better than I think any other animal. And they can do that both visually and in a tactile sense. If you think about it, you have an intention before you start walk. There is the intention to start walking in a direction. And where I want to get to with a horse is for them to read that intention and essentially become an extension of us as a team. We move together.

I am no great shakes as a trainer but I have gotten a few of my horses where we can work without reins, bit or bridle. Just working off our communication.

Bear with me, there is a relevant point coming up.

When I am working with a horse we start off with intention. Maybe it is just going in a straightly line. As long as the horse is following the feel I am completely neutral. No cues from me, the reins are completely slack, the horse is in control. If the horse starts to wander to the right I might give him a little bump to get back to straight. A light as possible, but as strong as needed. I kind of think of it like we are going down between tracks and if we are getting to the track then there is a correction to keep us between them. The newer the horse is to training the wider the tracks. Tracks narrow over time as the horse starts to get it.

But always if the horse and I are on the same page I am not trying to control the horse.

Some days there isn't too much correcting. Some days the weather might be changing, the wind is up, other horses are causing a commotion and so there is more correcting, more bringing them back between the neutral reins.

Ok, finally, Zen point! When we are sitting we want to try to keep ourselves between the reins. We want to start as calm as possible. Then, when we feel thoughts bubble up we deal with that as gently and subtly as possible. Just a quick little bump and return to neutral. No big deal. No yanking and pulling.

As light as possible, but as strong as needed.

The other thing I want to say is that for a certain period of my sitting, I sat sort of like the rider that has constant rein control. I would sit but I would be kind of busy. I would kind of sit waiting for the thought to come up and then I would dismiss it. But oddly I wasn't really sitting in the moment. I kept tension in my mental reins all the time! I was kind of actively "doing" zazen, and it was actually tiring. Eventually I read something by Danin Katagiri that meshed nicely with Jundo's teaching and it just kind of clicked for me that I needed to just sit Shikantaza - just really quiet down. Go to neutral. No reins until they were needed. And I think it really improved my sitting.

I hope all that makes sense.

Gassho, Shinshi

SaT-LaH

[emoji120][emoji120][emoji120][emoji3059]

Gassho
Jakuden
SatToday


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Tobiishi]

Thank you, Shinshi, that was an educational metaphor!

KT