Respecting different beliefs? Even in ghosts?

[Seikan]

What Bion said.

Just to add a personal perspective (aren't all perspectives personal?), until someone can prove to me that ghosts do NOT exist (as opposed to the other way around), then I feel that I should remain open to the possibility of their existence, even if I have never experienced one myself.

As a wiser sage once said when faced with the differing/varying opinions of others, "Maybe so".

Gassho,
Seikan

-stlah-

[Bion]

Respecting different beliefs? Even in ghosts?

Hi Jundo/Sangha,

I have a question about respecting different beliefs. I appreciate the notion of different strokes for different folks and different ways up the same mountain. However, my wife, mother-in-law, and her best friends (etc...)are big believers in ghosts, spirits, demons, gods, and superstition. A friend of my wife recently slept at another friend's place and said there were lots of spirits in her house and she needed to do a special ritual. As a man of science, I think this is utter rubbish, but sadly, my wife did believe this story. I try not to get myself involved in their discussions, but it's actually quite challenging if it's your wife. Every so often, I'll try to nudge my wife to ignore the superstition and live in the present moment. I would explain that in zazen, we don't try to find the answers to metaphysical questions, but we lose the questions entirely. The Way is actually simple if there is no picking or choosing. She does not find these answers helpful.

How do you skillfully deal with this situation? Do you ignore them and not engage unless they ask you? I actually find this very difficult to deal with. Perhaps, I'm just very stubborn.

Gassho,
Van
SAT+LAH

Here’s my humble opinion on the matter: the approach should always be compassion. Their beliefs, whether based on truth or absolute mumbo jumbo, are very much real to them, so they experience real torment or joy because of them. Dismissing those beliefs mindlessly means dismissing them as people. Most of the time their beliefs don’t affect anyone so, why be bothered by them, regardless of how we feel about their authenticity? Unless specifically asked to do so, why express an opinion that might cause someone else sadness or anger?
Tolerance, compassion and kindness towards those who believe differently than we do open many more gates to real communication than criticism or mockery ever could.
The Buddha way is that of compassion for all beings. Most of the time we should focus more on why it troubles us what others believe. It is also helpful to remember that someone else out there in the world feels exactly the same about our buddhist or even scientific beliefs.

I apologize for once again rambling more than Needed.

[emoji1374] SatToday

[Meian]

My family is multi-faith. In my family, we have atheist, pantheist/Buddhist, Catholic, Lutheran, Muslim, and so on. Sometimes there is tension, but this tends to happen if one person is putting their beliefs on others, or assuming that others must agree with them.

Usually, we each just pursue our own interests and activities -- sometimes a few of us together. We try to take a "live and let live" approach to life, religion, etc., and it is mostly peaceful.

If it were my situation -- if the situation were reversed -- I'd have a talk with my partner, explaining that I don't share their beliefs in this area, and the subject makes me uncomfortable. I'd also ask the purpose of their telling me the stories. Do they want help? Are they scared? Do they just need to talk but no help? What is my role in this? Since I find most social cues and interactions confusing, I ask questions to know what is expected of me, and how to fulfill my role.

This is how I would approach an uncomfortable situation like this. This is just me, however.

Sorry to run very long.

Gassho, meian st lh

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[vanbui]

Hi Jundo/Sangha,

I have a question about respecting different beliefs. I appreciate the notion of different strokes for different folks and different ways up the same mountain. However, my wife, mother-in-law, and her best friends (etc...)are big believers in ghosts, spirits, demons, gods, and superstition. A friend of my wife recently slept at another friend's place and said there were lots of spirits in her house and she needed to do a special ritual. As a man of science, I think this is utter rubbish, but sadly, my wife did believe this story. I try not to get myself involved in their discussions, but it's actually quite challenging if it's your wife. Every so often, I'll try to nudge my wife to ignore the superstition and live in the present moment. I would explain that in zazen, we don't try to find the answers to metaphysical questions, but we lose the questions entirely. The Way is actually simple if there is no picking or choosing. She does not find these answers helpful.

How do you skillfully deal with this situation? Do you ignore them and not engage unless they ask you? I actually find this very difficult to deal with. Perhaps, I'm just very stubborn.

Gassho,
Van
SAT+LAH