Anxiety

[Natahl]

Hi Natahl,


A couple of years ago I suffered from burnout and I can second Jundo's advice that physical exercise works well. After a long hiatus I started practicing martial arts again (Iaido) and it had a significantly positive effect on my recovery along with hiking along the shore on a daily basis. Wishing you all the best.

Gassho,
Seibu
Sattoday

Thank you Seibu, I appreciate the martial arts aspect especially. I practiced Judo and Kung fu earlier in my life. I may explore to see if there are any local places I can renew my practice (I live in the country so my options are often limited).

Gassho,
Natahl
STLAH


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[Natahl]

As a lifelong sufferer of GAD/panic disorder, I can recommend three things which have helped me:

1) Therapy and medication (my biggest regret is suffering for so many years thinking I could "fix" myself without professional help)
2) Exercise (walking and yoga for me) and trying to cut out processed foods as much as possible
3) The book "Unwinding Anxiety" by Dr. Jud, and accompanying smartphone apps (see drjud.com)

Take care of yourself, and I hope you can find some relief. Anxiety is no joke. Feel free to DM me anytime

Kaishin,

Thank you very much for the resources. At this time I don’t feel able to access medications as my ex will potentially use that against me in court. However, I have a great online therapist from overseas that does not show up on my local health records - and I concur; professional help is invaluable.

Gassho,
Natahl
STLAH


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[Natahl]

I will just add that there is nothing at all which prevents someone who will benefit from seeking help from a qualified mental health professional for such issues. In fact, I would encourage so if someone would benefit.

Therapy and, if the doctor approves, Zazen can go hand-in-hand.

One of the wonders of Zazen is that it lets us sit with anxiety when anxious. For example, many times someone may become depressed or anxious, and then become even more depressed and anxious about being depressed and anxious, doubling their power! Zazen lets us treat the passing drama of the mind as just temporary, passing weather, and not fall into taking our mood so seriously. The sadness and anxiety may still be present, but we just consider them objects in the room like the table in the corner, nothing to resist, think about or be pulled into. Suddenly, some of their extra fuel is gone.

However, if there are underlying issues that are the root cause of the depression or anxiety, Zazen may not be the most effective therapy alone, and one should talk to a doctor or mental health professional and deal with it. (I like to say that, if one has a bad tooth, one doesn't expect Zazen alone to deal with it: One goes to the dentist.) If the doctor approves, one can keep sitting Zazen too.

Sorry to run long.

Gassho, Jundo

STLah

Thank you Jundo.

My resources are limited due to geography, finances and not being able to provide any cause for my ex to question my ability as a parent ... but I have found a great online therapist that cannot be tracked.

Zazen is of great help to me, and I always feel best when I have succeeded in carving out time for it amongst being a full time mother. Even the shortest snatches have benefit.

Gassho,
Natahl
STLAH


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[Natahl]

Still learning... Here are a few things from my personal experience.

1 - Anxiety is a message telling you that you are somehow harming yourself, in a way or another (often, via thoughts).
2 - The more you try to shut down this message, the more it will scream at you.
3 - You have to find out what you are doing that is harming yourself and stop doing it - this takes research, patience, kindness, and a will to explore difficult things. And the funny thing is that often, what is harming yourself is, in part, "trying to get rid of the anxiety". Therapy helps a lot for this as well.
4 - You have to learn to take it "not so seriously". Sometimes it really feels completely overwhelming, but it cannot harm you in anyway. Most of its power lies in the fear we have of it.

Mindfulness practices, movement awareness (try a feldenkrais class on anxiety, it's incredible), helps A LOT, and in a good way : it's not about shutting down the anxiety or getting rid of it, but being with your body and mind in a gentle way. And if you're anxious, what you need to learn the most is to be gentle with yourself, to soothe yourself, to listen to your body sensations in a gentle way, so that your brain can step out of "danger mode", even if only for a bit. The discovery that, in fact, a painful feeling is just a feeling and that it's not here to harm you or destroy you but to help you figure out what's wrong is kind of liberating because it helps you to stop fighting it.

Zazen is also great to let everything go and be as it is.

Have fun exploring and making peace with yourself !

Uggy,

ST LAH

Thank you for the resources and alternative way of looking at the experience/message of anxiety. Much of mine is situational as I navigate separation and coparenting with a high-conflict and historically abusive ex.

So ... often I know the message of my anxiety ... it is telling me I am not safe, that he is not safe ... what I am trying to learn to do is accept that fact and learn to live with it better, as I cannot be free of him because we share a child.

Gassho,
Natahl
STLAH


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[Natahl]

One thing to make sure is that you take some time for yourself/to unwind (something healthy ideally). I'm not a parent yet but other parents have told me this, it might seem like you're being selfish but the best analogy I've heard for it is the airplane one. If something is happening in an airplane and you need to put on the oxygen mask, you always put your own mask on before you put it on your kid. You can't help them if you're not able to breathe yourself.

I believe Pema Chodron also wrote some books about anxiety/depression from a Buddhist perspective but I haven't read them yet so I can't speak to them if they're worth reading.


Evan,
Sat today, lah

Yes, taking care of oneself as a parent is essential. As someone with no support I have to find this in small, brief ways ... a soothing cup of tea, a moment of quiet in the shower, the smell of a winter rose in the garden ... but I’m never truly able to have that “me time” so many parents prescribe themselves [emoji16]

I find Pema’s teachings very accessible snd have read and listened to many of her works. I don’t recall any specifically relating to mental health, so I’ll go searching.

Gassho,
Natahl
STLAH


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[Natahl]

When I am anxious like I was tonight, I reach out to some I love more than myself. In turn they reach back for me. I have an anxiety disorder and BD. Today I am free because of someone I love.
Gassho
sat/ lah
Tai Shi


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Tai Shi, this is beautiful and I very much relate.

Gassho,
Natahl
STLAH


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[Natahl]

Wow Natahl, your little is not so little anymore! She's so beautiful!

All good suggestions here. I am a fellow sufferer.

Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH

Jakuden, she has really grown, hasn’t she? I’m constantly, moment by moment, surprised by it!

Gassho,
Natahl
STLAH


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