Tips on dealing with difficult, obsessive images ?

[Ugrok]

Hello !

I accidently saw a video on the internet that disgusted me, and now, when i sit zazen (and also off the cushion), this video comes to my mind and i can feel my stomach twist. Of course, the more i try to not think about it, the more it comes back - and sometimes when i feel okay, i'm "checking in" to see if the thought still is there and still disgusts me (well, it does). I was wondering if you had any tips to help coming to terms with this kind of experience which makes zazen quite difficult...

Thanks in advance,

Uggy,

Sat today

[Kyotai]

Try to remember, that in life their will be images/situations that you will encounter that are repulsive and disgusting. Unfortunately, that is part of the human experience sometimes. I wouldn't try to "not remember it" as that is a little like forgetting you saw a pink elephant. Accept it as another life experience and let it pass from your memory when it does so naturally. No forcing.

Gassho, Kyotai
ST

[Jishin]

Hi Uggy,

Just let your thoughts be thoughts. If you say they are bad then they are bad and they make work for you when you try to push them away.

Gassho, Jishin, __/stlah\__

[Jundo]

Hello !

I accidently saw a video on the internet that disgusted me, and now, when i sit zazen (and also off the cushion), this video comes to my mind and i can feel my stomach twist. Of course, the more i try to not think about it, the more it comes back - and sometimes when i feel okay, i'm "checking in" to see if the thought still is there and still disgusts me (well, it does). I was wondering if you had any tips to help coming to terms with this kind of experience which makes zazen quite difficult...

Thanks in advance,

Uggy,

Sat today

Hi Uggy,

I recall that you have described in the past your being prone to similar hooking on thoughts that you cannot let go.

First, perhaps there are larger issues that make you very sensitive. Perhaps speak to a professional about what those larger issues might be?

I would advise to follow the breath, follow follow follow, until those images just become another object in the room ... like a table or a tree outside the window ... which you can witness with equanimity and allowance, not clutching or running toward, not running away.

That is my simple advice. Something about those images triggered some reaction in you.

Sorry to run long.

Gassho, J

STLah

[Kokuu]

Hey

To add another perspective I would recommend trying doing tonglen (taking and sending) or sending metta to yourself and whatever is going on in that image.

Life is sadly filled with suffering and images of things that are sad and even provoke extreme anguish and revulsion. If we can have compassion for both ourselves and the people in involved in the situation I find that is a way of neither suppressing what we are feeling yet providing some structure for not feeling overwhelmed.

Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday-

[Ugrok]

Thank you very much for your answers. Yes Jundo, i'm going through an anxious moment in my life, as it happens to me every 3 or 4 years or so, and i am very sensitive to any thought that is a bit "disturbing" nowadays (which is quite strange to me cause usually, i like horror movies, scary books, etc)... Also going to therapy to deal with all this, which sometimes stirs up some strong emotions.

Zazen helps a lot, and i will try to follow your advices and change the way i see thoughts. It's like i'm afraid of myself and what my mind can produce, i think one good lesson to learn from zazen is to let thoughts be thoughts and stop judging whatever happens "up there". I'll try my best.

Gassho,

Uggy,

Sat Today

[Bokucho]

Life is sadly filled with suffering and images of things that are sad and even provoke extreme anguish and revulsion. If we can have compassion for both ourselves and the people in involved in the situation I find that is a way of neither suppressing what we are feeling yet providing some structure for not feeling overwhelmed.

This is an extremely good response, thank you Kokuu. Compassionate practice truly does calm the flaring fires of this realm.

Gassho,

Josh
SatToday/LaH



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[Shujin]

There is quite a bit of good advice here; I think professional help and patience are vital. Having said that, I was a police officer for 15 years before transitioning to another career. I still occasionally remember/think of things I experienced during that time. It's easier than it used to be, but it hasn't gone away in the last four years. For me, medication helped immensely. That's something between you and your therapist/doctor, however.

Best,
Shujin
st

[Ugrok]

Thanks for the advice. Taking medication for some crap i saw on internet seems a bit overkill to me though, i'll see how it goes...

Gassho,
Uggy
Sat today

[Jishin]

Thanks for the advice. Taking medication for some crap i saw on internet seems a bit overkill to me though, i'll see how it goes...

Gassho,
Uggy
Sat today

It's just some crap on the internet. That's it, you got it. Now move on.

Gassho, Jishin, __/stlah\__