Re: All used up.
Two things:
1) You say you have been practicing for some years, with seemingly no progress. Zazen may not be the right answer in life for you. Please be careful in your search for the right method: you may find what works or you may find another delusion. It's often difficult to tell the difference. The right method will settle your mind and anxieties over time. Another delusion will expand the unhappy hollowness.
2) I've got a little Bi-polar. Those anger-depression swings you mention are familiar to me. It's a lack of chemical re-action going on inside your head that does it, not you "doing something wrong". You might want to look into a small dose of Li before giving up zazen altogether. It will alleviate the swings and spiraling into a pit. The pills alone are not the answer and zazen alone is not the answer, but the two together can work fantastic results.
The fact that you can objectively analyze and report yourself indicates zazen has done you some good. You may just need a little extra kick to propel your practice.
Sylvia
Two things:
1) You say you have been practicing for some years, with seemingly no progress. Zazen may not be the right answer in life for you. Please be careful in your search for the right method: you may find what works or you may find another delusion. It's often difficult to tell the difference. The right method will settle your mind and anxieties over time. Another delusion will expand the unhappy hollowness.
2) I've got a little Bi-polar. Those anger-depression swings you mention are familiar to me. It's a lack of chemical re-action going on inside your head that does it, not you "doing something wrong". You might want to look into a small dose of Li before giving up zazen altogether. It will alleviate the swings and spiraling into a pit. The pills alone are not the answer and zazen alone is not the answer, but the two together can work fantastic results.
The fact that you can objectively analyze and report yourself indicates zazen has done you some good. You may just need a little extra kick to propel your practice.
Sylvia
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