Ever worried because you're not worried?

[Michael Joseph]

I have been worried about not being worried, as you describe, but only because the landscape is so strange from the lands I used to travel. A month ago, I became interim dean at the university where I teach, a job I did seven years ago. Then, every day was a rollercoaster of anxiety, emotion, and fear, but now, despite dealing with a a pandemic, a budget crisis, and the aftermath of a hurricane, I've been performing my job (so far) with clarity and (gasp) joy because I see my role as being a caretaker of the students and the faculty more than being a top-notch, go-get-em administrator out to set all manner of things "right." Zen Buddhist practice and becoming sober--which are not two in my life--are literally the only differences. The worry comes when I desire to remain in a state of non-worry, so when I catch myself doing this, I chuckle a little bit and remind myself that this state of non-worry will not last. Thanks to Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. (Sorry I ran a bit long.)

Gassho,

Hobun

STLAH



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[Jundo]

... The worry comes when I desire to remain in a state of non-worry, so when I catch myself doing this, I chuckle a little bit and remind myself that this state of non-worry will not last. Thanks to Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. (Sorry I ran a bit long.)

This is so very very important: For some reason, the idealized notion developed in Buddhism that a Buddha is beyond all worry forever, bar none, never a problem or fear, forever, completely, not one drop. I do not believe that possible for a human being, because our animal brains are hardwired to sometimes worry, to be afraid and stressed.

However, there is a big difference between being a bit worried, stressed and afraid while being even more stressed about being a bit worried, stressed and afraid ...

versus

... being a bit worried, stressed and afraid while not so entangled in it, letting it all boil over, not allowing it to flood and strangle one, not wallowing, not exploding, and instead just letting a bit of worry, stress or fear be a moment of natural worry, stress or fear.

Further, even when a bit worried, stressed and afraid, the Zen student can SIMULTANEOUSLY encounter the realm of wholeness where there is no worry, stress and fear from the beginningless beginning, not even one drop, thus encountering the world both ways as one: worry-free-of-all-worry, stress-and-stressless, fear-with-nothing-to-fear-or-be-feared, all at once. In the flowing wholeness of "emptiness" there is no separate thing to worry about, no separate worrier to worry.

(Sorry, three sentences?)

Gassho, J

STLah

PS - Even Spock is, sometimes ... well, not "worried," but "logically concerned"

[Michael Joseph]

However, there is a big difference between being a bit worried, stressed and afraid while being even more stressed about being a bit worried, stressed and afraid ...

versus

... being a bit worried, stressed and afraid while not so entangled in it, letting it all boil over, not allowing it to flood and strangle one, not wallowing, not exploding, and instead just letting a bit of worry, stress or fear be a moment of natural worry, stress or fear.

Further, even when a bit worried, stressed and afraid, the Zen student can SIMULTANEOUSLY encounter the realm of wholeness where there is no worry, stress and fear from the beginningless beginning, not even one drop, thus encountering the world both ways as one: worry-free-of-all-worry, stress-and-stressless, fear-with-nothing-to-fear-or-be-feared, all at once. In the flowing wholeness of "emptiness" there is no separate thing to worry about, no separate worrier to worry.

Jundo,

Often, even when I'm having a hard time, I know there is one who is not having a hard time. (Thank you, Yunyan.) I usually find this "one" in a breath or in objects being objects or some other pure instance of being. Despite how it might sound when I say it, it's really surprisingly ordinary, the commonplace unfolding of the teachings after years of listening to them closely--and not quite getting it.

Live long and gassho,

Hobun

STLAH

P. S. Thank you for your teaching.

[Jundo]

Jundo,

Often, even when I'm having a hard time, I know there is one who is not having a hard time. (Thank you, Yunyan.) I usually find this "one" in a breath or in objects being objects or some other pure instance of being. Despite how it might sound when I say it, it's really surprisingly ordinary, the commonplace unfolding of the teachings after years of listening to them closely--and not quite getting it.

Live long and gassho,

Hobun

STLAH

P. S. Thank you for your teaching.

Thank you. And I actually fixed some of the weird grammar in what I wrote so that it makes more sense now! Very stressful.

Gassho, J

STLah

[Margherita]

I get worried when I stop laughing at myself, others and the world in general. If I stop laughing then I'm taking everything too seriously especially the serious stuff.
Gassho
Onka
ST

Yup. When times are hard I may notice a certain inside giggle and the will to be sarcastic, I know then that I will be fine. If one day I won't find that inside giggle and sarcasm, I would be very preoccupied.

Gassho,
Mags
ST

[Jakuden]

I chuckle a little bit and remind myself that this state of non-worry will not last.

Yes the attachment to “yay me, I have such equanimity now” happens fast... until that bubble bursts and we realize that there is always some circumstance out there that can send us back into samsara.

Gratitude for your Bodhisattva work taking care of our precious students [emoji120][emoji120][emoji120]

Gassho
Jakuden
SatToday



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[Eva]

Yes the attachment to “yay me, I have such equanimity now” happens fast... until that bubble bursts and we realize that there is always some circumstance out there that can send us back into samsara.

Gratitude for your Bodhisattva work taking care of our precious students [emoji120][emoji120][emoji120]

Gassho
Jakuden
SatToday



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Jakuden this made me laugh so hard (at my Self)
Thank you so much <3

Gassho,
eva
sattoday

[Tai Shi]

Ever worried because you're not worried?

Onka I don’t laugh! We must hang together. As a senior I’m most concerned about my family in California where my cousins and 88-yr old Aunt in Fresno, where National Frosts face destruction then my 90 year old father in fires as the Sierra Nevada Mountains are a tinder box and Rocky Mountains in powerful snow storm is this finally global warming coming to haunt families. My wife’s family in Colorado thinking of moving out of the mountains. Is this like Australia? My friend, you are hardly laughable!
Gassho
Deep bows
sat / lah
Tai Shi
Sorry Jundo. I must come to defense of my friend!!!! We are disabled and HARDLY laughable.


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[Onka]

Onka I don’t laugh! We must hang together. As a senior I’m most concerned about my family in California where my cousins and 88-yr old Aunt in Fresno, where National Frosts face destruction then my 90 year old father in fires as the Sierra Nevada Mountains are a tinder box and Rocky Mountains in powerful snow storm is this finally global warming coming to haunt families. My wife’s family in Colorado thinking of moving out of the mountains. Is this like Australia? My friend, you are hardly laughable!
Gassho
Deep bows
sat / lah
Tai Shi
Sorry Jundo. I must come to defense of my friend!!!! We are disabled and HARDLY laughable.


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Thank you my friend. Laughing at myself is an act of humility. I'm just as ridiculous as anyone else. I hope your family and all others stay safe in the face of danger.
Gassho
Onka
ST
I acknowledge I went over 3 sentences. I always endeavour to do and be better.

[Michael Joseph]

Gratitude for your Bodhisattva work taking care of our precious students [emoji120][emoji120][emoji120]

[emoji120]

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[Tai Shi]

Ever worried because you're not worried?

Hi Onka, although I remain active on the Zendo, were it not for the easy lay of the land, I could not be a member of Treeleaf. Gassho, sat/ lah


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[Tom A.]

One of the great "rules of thumb" of how Zen Practice is impacting our life is when the "Dharma hits the fan" (** maybe I just did what I asked Bayamo not to do. ), when we are faced with some life disaster, the forest fire that one of our Treeleaf priests faced this week in which she just grabbed the animals and left the house for a time, the cancer diagnosis I had a couple of years ago, the small stuff life traffic jams and unfair situations at work, someone cuts in line in front of us, the political situation in the world seems so ugly, etc. etc. We just don't react the same as before.

I have told the following story 100 times, so it is okay for the old folks to jump ahead:



Gassho, J

STLah

Reminds me of this gem of a quote apparently from mideaval rabbi scholar Rashi and used in the intro to the Coen Brothers great film A Serious Man’:

“Accept with simplicity everything that happens to you”