Zoom Etiquette

[Lauren]

Greetings, All!

Question regarding Zoom etiquette, especially as a beginner:

The sessions with Doyu and Sekishi fall between the 8M and 10PM hours locally for me. This means that most nights, there's a reasonable chance I could attend them. However I have a young son, 7 months old, so we still have the evening sleep routine that takes priority. Sometimes he takes a little time to go down for the night, or I have prep work to do for the next day before I am really "done" and ready for zazen.

The question is, is it acceptable sometimes to either come in late (including for the Friday weekly Zazenkai, which I would love to attend) or step away if needed? I am not sure if it might be OK to get my computer ready and leave the camera off so as to be unobtrusive and nondistracting if baby calls. But then I am not sure if I should turn the camera on as I sit down, or just leave it off....

The alternative for me is to just rarely be able to attend, which would be unfortunate.

Any guidance would be appreciated. Thank you, and I hope you are all staying well.

Gassho,

Lauren

[Seikan]

Hi Lauren,

I'll defer to the practice leaders to comment on what's truly proper as I'm still a bit of a newbie myself. However, from what I've noticed, whenever someone enters or exits the Scheduled Sitting Room (i.e., weekday Zazen and Zazenkai sessions), it isn't terribly disruptive unless one is looking at one's monitor (not recommend) instead of towards a wall, etc.

In the Free Sitting Room, on the other hand, there is a chime that sounds whenever anyone enters/leaves, so it can be a bit disruptive at first, but then again, the point of the FSR is that one can enter or leave whenever. So sitting with the occasional "disruption" is just part of the practice.

The weeknight Zazen groups seem to be a fairly consistent bunch since I joined a couple months ago, and we'd love to have you join us as often as you can.

Gassho,
Rob

—st—


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[Shonin Risa Bear]

When I've had similar questions in the past, sit hosts have reassured me that coming and going when I can is just fine. I agree. Any "amount" of zazen, with or without background goings-on of children, pets, cars flitting by outside, etc., is an infinite offering. The point, I think, will be the sincerity. So please do what works best for you, at least on Tuesdays and Wednesdays! _()_

gassho
doyu shonin sat/lah today




Edit: concerning facing the monitor; you'll notice I tend to turn only about 25 degrees away. I'm about 85% deaf, so require visual cues to participate in group activities. Everyone must adapt to some circumstance or other; I'd guess the important thing is that buddha is buddha, dharma is dharma, sangha is sangha. _()_

[Shinshi]

The only thing I would add, having made this mistake myself, is that I would make sure you are completely settled before you turn on the video. Then turn on the camera, gassho, and start sitting - not facing directly at the camera but to one side.

There is another related thread going on here.

https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?17915-etiquette-in-de-FSR

Gassho, Shinshi

SaT-LaH

[Sekishi]

The question is, is it acceptable sometimes to either come in late (including for the Friday weekly Zazenkai, which I would love to attend) or step away if needed? I am not sure if it might be OK to get my computer ready and leave the camera off so as to be unobtrusive and nondistracting if baby calls. But then I am not sure if I should turn the camera on as I sit down, or just leave it off....

Hi Lauren,

Please join us. Shinshi says it perfectly. And I would add, if you need to leave early, this is ok too. Please bow to the group, disconnect if needed, and go and care for your life.

We all face the wall anyway, so your comings and goings will not disturb, and even if they do, we sit with that too.

Children, pets, and householder life are all part of our practice.

Deep bows,
Sekishi
#sat #withpuppy

[Geika]

I get interrupted during pretty much every zazenkai I attend. Can't really do anything about it. I live in a full house and people need me for stuff, I guess. They see me sitting with the screen on and myself being recorded, but they don't really seem to care! Anyway, I consider it more important to try and attend when I can than to worry about whether or not anybody is going to need me during. If that was the case, I would never join!

Gassho
Sat today, lah

[Jundo]

I get interrupted during pretty much every zazenkai I attend. Can't really do anything about it. I live in a full house and people need me for stuff, I guess. They see me sitting with the screen on and myself being recorded, but they don't really seem to care! Anyway, I consider it more important to try and attend when I can than to worry about whether or not anybody is going to need me during. If that was the case, I would never join!

Gassho
Sat today, lah

Of course, there are no "disturbances" or "interruptions" during Zazen ... even when we are disturbed and interrupted. Conditions are just conditions, events are just events, and the reaction of "disturbed" or measure of "interrupted" exists largely between our ears. Do one's best to meet "disturbances" or "interruptions" with equanimity, accepting and doing what is called for then continue sitting (or not reacting if not called for, and just continue sitting).

Thus, "disturbances" or "interruptions" are teachers of this fact, and may even be welcomed as such. Yes, it is a lesson for the rest of life as well.

Gassho, J

STLah

[Heiso]

Hi Lauren - as I'm sure the 'Euro Crew' can attest, I am always leaving the FSR early at the moment. Most mornings now I sit with a baby on my lap, or shoulder and this morning I lasted 10 minutes before she decided she really really wanted feeding. That's the life of a zen householder and one of the many beauties of Treeleaf.

Gassho

Heiso
StLah

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[Kotei]

And this is no disturbance at all. I know, sitting is beyond like and dislike, but somehow I like having life happening around.
Gassho,
Kotei sat/lah today.

Hi Lauren - as I'm sure the 'Euro Crew' can attest, I am always leaving the FSR early at the moment. Most mornings now I sit with a baby on my lap, or shoulder and this morning I lasted 10 minutes before she decided she really really wanted feeding. That's the life of a zen householder and one of the many beauties of Treeleaf.

Gassho

Heiso
StLah

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[Lauren]

Thank you all for your thoughts, this has been very helpful.

One more question - regarding gassho. Sitting down sideways on the zafu and then rotating the cushion clockwise, as I've seen in various beginner videos (including here) isn't really an option because I'm really tucked into a corner and I have the computer sitting on a chair. So I can't gassho from seated position and then rotate my whole body and cushion into position.

So instead, I am not sure if I should stand at my computer after I turn the camera on, gassho (which would be essentially out of the view of the camera) and then settle onto my zafu, or if I should sit down on the zafu and then rotate my waist 90 degrees towards the camera, gassho, then twist back forward and begin to sit.

Sitting first followed by a gassho seems wrong in the sense that the sitting should be the final piece, but it seems awkward to gassho offscreen and then fumble to get settled in front of the camera.

Hope this makes sense.

(Awkward) Gassho,

Lauren

[Jundo]

Hi Lauren,

I would say just to make your own little ritual that fits your space and situation. So long as it is sincere and respectful, it is good.

I have found over the years, visiting so many different Zen groups in many places, that all their spaces and situations are different somehow. So, when visiting another Zazen group, follow their lead, and bow and the Romans bow. But in your home, in such a space, you can make a ritual which what suits the room and you.

However, from what you describe, I would basically do something like the following: Gassho when entering room, walk in Shashu (right hand covering left fist on chest) in the room, set up your computer (you might even offer it a little bow before or after switching on in thanks), walk to your Zafu, Gassho bow toward it, fluff it, Gassho bow again, turn clockwise 180 and Gassho bow to the room (representing all the people around the world sitting with you), turn 180 with hands in standing Gassho and sit. Give a little sitting bow, swing back and forth, forward and back a bit to get centered, put your hands in the Zazen mudra and being Zazen.

At the end of Zazen, little Gassho when seated, get up, face the cushion, Gassho bow, fluff the cushion, turn 180 and Gassho bow, hands in Shashu, bow before exiting.

If you are sincere in doing so, and try to be a little graceful and respectful, it is a good ritual.

Gassho, Jundo

STLah