Hello,
I had a practice opportunity this evening I thought I would share. Although we say that practice is good for nothing
, sometimes situations come up that make us aware that there has been a definite shift in our perspective over time.
A lady at the grocery store backed into the back end of my (literally one-week-in-my-possession) new car. She was obviously at fault, since I was already out in the aisle and pulling away as she barrelled backward out of her spot toward me. I saw the whole thing happening in my mirror but couldn't do anything to stop it.
No biggie, just a fender-bender, but the tough part was that she approached me insisting that she was not at fault and that I backed into her, which was painful. I have been at fault in mishaps before, and always apologize and take responsibility. And it was in front of both of our teenage children that were with us, so not a great example for them. I did not converse with her about it, just nodded and called the police. They could not determine fault, since it was a back end to back end collision and there were no witnesses.
I can remember a time when I would have been outraged by both the damage to the new car and the attitude of the other driver, and would have fumed over both for who knows how long. However, I am not really concerned at all about the damage (first world problems, for sure) and although the behavior of the other driver saddened me, I did not become upset for long. Metta to her and her son. I think some of the most difficult situations to practice with are those where we feel we have been wronged somehow, the urge to seek justice and hold onto our righteous anger is strong! But that righteous anger is painful. Who are we really angry at, anyway? Joko Beck used to tell the story about how we can imagine being in a rowboat in the fog, when BANG we hit another rowboat.... instinctively we become enraged and start to yell at the other boater--until we realize the other rowboat is empty. Then all the anger evaporates in an instant, when there is no one to direct it at. But when we practice, we realize it's all an empty rowboat and the only one the anger hurts is ourselves.
Metta to all sentient beings suffering from the three poisons of Greed, Anger and Ignorance. Let us face them with Prajna (Wisdom) Dana (generosity) and Metta (loving kindness) It's the only way!
Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH
I had a practice opportunity this evening I thought I would share. Although we say that practice is good for nothing
, sometimes situations come up that make us aware that there has been a definite shift in our perspective over time.A lady at the grocery store backed into the back end of my (literally one-week-in-my-possession) new car. She was obviously at fault, since I was already out in the aisle and pulling away as she barrelled backward out of her spot toward me. I saw the whole thing happening in my mirror but couldn't do anything to stop it.
No biggie, just a fender-bender, but the tough part was that she approached me insisting that she was not at fault and that I backed into her, which was painful. I have been at fault in mishaps before, and always apologize and take responsibility. And it was in front of both of our teenage children that were with us, so not a great example for them. I did not converse with her about it, just nodded and called the police. They could not determine fault, since it was a back end to back end collision and there were no witnesses.
I can remember a time when I would have been outraged by both the damage to the new car and the attitude of the other driver, and would have fumed over both for who knows how long. However, I am not really concerned at all about the damage (first world problems, for sure) and although the behavior of the other driver saddened me, I did not become upset for long. Metta to her and her son. I think some of the most difficult situations to practice with are those where we feel we have been wronged somehow, the urge to seek justice and hold onto our righteous anger is strong! But that righteous anger is painful. Who are we really angry at, anyway? Joko Beck used to tell the story about how we can imagine being in a rowboat in the fog, when BANG we hit another rowboat.... instinctively we become enraged and start to yell at the other boater--until we realize the other rowboat is empty. Then all the anger evaporates in an instant, when there is no one to direct it at. But when we practice, we realize it's all an empty rowboat and the only one the anger hurts is ourselves.
Metta to all sentient beings suffering from the three poisons of Greed, Anger and Ignorance. Let us face them with Prajna (Wisdom) Dana (generosity) and Metta (loving kindness) It's the only way!
Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH
)
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