Shikantaza easy? Or am i doing it wrong

[Mattias]

Well, hello everybody this is my first post and hopefully not last , I am really exited to speak about Zazen with other practitioners since I have been practicing alone and also learned on my own. The main downside of learning by trial and error is of course that you can get it all wrong or develop a big sense of pride. But here is how I have experienced practicing shikantaza, I learned through books and internet, and I think it have been very easy to learn. In the beginning I would become lost in day dreams, frustrated that I didn’t do it right, judging , today it was bad Zazen , today it was good zazen,I would become easily frustrated and so on. But awhile ago I started to get it , I don’t know a better expression for it. Give up the fight , put down the guard and just let it happen. Let any thoughts arise and die, let chaos in mind be don’t fight it, but find peace with chaos , fear, anger ,pain,whatever arises just let it be. And lately this is working out just great, I just sit, I rarely drift away in daydreams , I let thoughts come and go, I let pain arise and I let pain go away , sometimes I have a million thoughts coming and going and somedays my mind is really calm today was such a day. So what do you guys think am I on the right path or just some huge ego trip, I still think it is really difficult to practice like this in daily life.Im looking forward to your responses,best wishes , Mattias

Gassho 🙏🏻

[Jundo]

Hi Mattias,

Welcome again!

You know, from your short description, I get a really good feeling that it is very good.

But you know what? You will know more than anyone if it is "right." How? Well, it will feel right, much as you describe. Second, you will find that the ease and wisdom which result will come off the cushion too, and have some good effects at other times (particularly stressful or crisis time) in your life. If it seems to be having a positive effect, then it is.

Of course, as you state, don't expect that it always goes smoothly. It is like surfing or baseball or any activity. Some days, every wave goes well and one stays on the board, other days you fall off the board. Some days, the pitcher throws strikes, other days only foul balls. Remember that Zazen is sitting with that which transcends on or off, strike or foul. In other words (as strange as this sounds), the good days of Zazen are good, but even the bad days of Zazen are good too!

Yes, Zazen is easy, like breathing. But, some days, even breathing is hard.

Gassho, Jundo

PS - Matthias, would you mind to post an introduction here, if you have not done so already. Thank you.

https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?16251-Greetings-by-new-folks-%28July%29

[Jishin]

You are doing great Matthias!

Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

[Mp]

Hello Mattias,

Yes, it sounds like you have found your groove. =) As Jundo has also said, it is you who will know the beauty of this practice, as this practice unfolds and shines like a jewel different for each of us. One has to experience Shikantaza, not be told. Sometimes the sky is filled with clouds, sometimes is completely clear, either way, the sun always shines. Keep at it, you are doing great. =)

Gassho
Shingen

Sat/LAH

[sjlabat]

I find even when I am in "Zazen fail" mode (pretty much every day!) - it's still good!
gassho
sjl
sat.lah
p.s. stick with it!

[Jakuden]

Sure sounds like Zazen to me
Thank you for your practice!

Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH

[Joyo]

Sounds like you are doing great. A lot of times we have to unlearn a lot, as shikantaza isn't nearly as difficult as what we think it "should" be. Thank you for sharing your experience here. =)

Gassho,
Joyo
sat todaylah

[sjlabat]

"you're unfailingly kind. A trait people never fail to undervalue. I'm afraid."
-Albus Dumbledore
Thank you for your kind comments and for your practice as well!
gassho,
sjl
sat,lah

[sjlabat]

oops, Jakuden, I failed to do "quotes" in my last!
sjl

[Mattias]

I guess your right about that it’s only me who can decide whether It’s ”right” or not. I think Zazen now vs before feels more natural than before, so I guess I’m on the right path.
Well I’m definitely more patient and open in life generally than a couple a years ago. But it’s so easy to label , judge, and in my case hold grudges.

You’re absolutely right, and that’s what I think makes this practice so great, it’s just like life, up and down, sometimes painfully boring ,sometimes absolutely beautiful

Gassho

Sat today

[Mattias]

Sounds like you are doing great. A lot of times we have to unlearn a lot, as shikantaza isn't nearly as difficult as what we think it "should" be. Thank you for sharing your experience here. =)

Gassho,
Joyo
sat todaylah

I agree, when I first heard of shikantaza I read , not for beginners, very difficult and so on. Personally I believe that it’s our natural state to be in, so if we have expectations of feeling good, or reach some mental state it will be difficult and also very disappointing. So perhaps the most important is to drop “how it should be”.

Gassho
Sat today

[Mattias]

Thank you everybody for taking time to answer me and for your kind words I appreciate it.

[Earl]

People ask me sometimes if I feel I'm making any progress on the spiritual path, and I always say don't ask me, ask my wife and kids! In my view, it's possible to get too close to our 'selves' and judge/doubt our practice. I find it's the people closest to me who provide the honest answer.

Sounds like your doing well Mattias

Gassho, Earl
sattoday

[Getchi]

People ask me sometimes if I feel I'm making any progress on the spiritual path, and I always say don't ask me, ask my wife and kids! In my view, it's possible to get too close to our 'selves' and judge/doubt our practice. I find it's the people closest to me who provide the honest answer.

Sounds like your doing well Mattias

Gassho, Earl
sattoday

OOH OH ME!, ME!

In all seriousness, Shikantaza has let me shut-up and my wife (and kids) mention how much calmer I am every day. And it always makes me smile .

[Ishin]

For me it’s not the sitting. It’s the practice of daily sitting that seems a struggle. Unlike today.

Gassho
Ishin
Sat Today/ lah