grasping during meditation

[Aurkihnowe]

hi all
ive been away, not meditating, and all that, but circumstances have led me back to the path
anyway, i tried meditating for twenty minutes today, and while i got my"desired" (if that's the right term, knowing no gain, et al) result of a buffer, not a disconnect, but a space between myself and the outside world, which one can feel is assaulting one quite often, or at least trying to invade or pull (or push)...

but here's my rub,

i can't (and never have) been able to sit without the reoccuring need to hold on to something tangible, a magazine, a book of matches, anything, and i keep searching, which causes me a little suffering and disturbs my equilibrium.....

anyway, if anybody knows this feeling, or how to overcome it, or if it's just part and parcel of letting the "self" go for a bit, let me know,

appreciated, rich

sat 2day

[Jundo]

Just breathe, let go.

Then no buffer is needed to the outside world, for no inside or out.

(If you so need to focus on something for a time, just follow the breath as it comes in and out that transcends in and out).

Gassho, J

SatTodayLAH

[Jakuden]

Perhaps desiring Zazen to be free of grasping is still desiring. You are aware of the grasping, so maybe just sit with it instead of trying to overcome it? I can’t imagine ever being totally free of it, although it waxes and wanes. Sometimes the mind does seem almost desperate to get back to its habit of worrying and ruminating. But it’s okay to just let the hamster run in its wheel without being invested in it for awhile. It will all still be there when you get up from the cushion.

Gassho
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH


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[Mp]

Just breathe, let go.

Then no buffer is needed to the outside world, for no inside or out.

(If you so need to focus on something for a time, just follow the breath as it comes in and out that transcends in and out).

Hey Rich,

Jundo says is quite well ... whether tangible or non-tangible, just put it down, let it be and in time you will find the spaceless space that you are looking. In comes in time, so be patient and keep at it. =)

Gassho
Shingen

Sat/LAH

[Rakurei]

Hi Rich,

Jundo said it best and simplest - just let it go. I would like to add to that - and echo Shingen's keyword up there, "patience". You have to undo whatever this knot is (while.. also not seeing it ..as a knot at all.. but anyway), in just simply letting go, you may not get that full twenty minutes and that's fine. It's still zazen. Just keep sitting.

ST,

Rakurei