Experience of distress

[Kakunen]

Experience of distress

Thank you for all of your wonderful posts. I have been very inspired reading them. You are very honest and express yourself clearly.

I don't post here much but I will start to participate more. I'm from the UK and live in China now. There is no meditation group that I can go to here, but I have found many great discussions on this forum.

I have had similar problems. Always looking for meaning. I often don't get this right. But I have always found that the best Zazen is when there is no purpose, no goal, nothing to achieve. When I try to connect my zazen to big ideas about the meaning of life, the purpose of why we are here on Earth, the question of whether there is a purpose or not, and what we should do with our lives, the zazen becomes muddy and messy. I remember last year, I was going through a particularly difficult period (lots of work stress, living far from home, and also trying to figure out the meaning of my life, and life in general.) I went round and round in circles and got nowhere. Eventually I just gave up, and sat zazen in the confusion and chaos, fully embracing it. That was when I finally found peace. There is still confusion, but this reminded me that whenever I am trying to use zazen for a purpose, to find meaning, it becomes something else, and isn't zazen. When I just let things be, accept that the mind will race with thoughts sometimes, accept that there is sometimes a strong need for a feeling of meaning, and don't fight these thoughts, there is finally some quiet. Silence in the surrender and acceptance.

I can't remember who said this, maybe Brad Warner; the brain is just like another organ. The heart pumps blood, organs secrete hormones, the brain secretes thoughts. There's no reason to take the thoughts too seriously, the brain just releases them automatically. They just tell us that the brain is still there, doing its normal thing. Nothing more than that.

It's great that you are devoting so much time to your practice. I look forward to reading more updates.

I was meaning to ask you. Every three months I get a break of one to two weeks. Can you recommend some monasteries in Japan that can take foreign guests for sesshin (between a few days and 1 1/2 weeks) in Japan. I can't find any places like this in China, but I can go to Japan for at least one week a few times each year (if flights are very expensive, maybe twice per year). I can't speak Japanese, so a place with foreign or English-speaking monastics or guests would be necessary. Due to work and family commitments I can't stay for more than two weeks. I was planning to go to Antaiji for three years, but now I have other obligations, so shorter sesshins that can be done in gaps between working life are what I'm looking for.

Gassho,

SatToday,

Chris

Maybe Tenryuji is better to sit Sesshin.

http://www.tenryuji.net/index.html

There have monthly Sesshin from 19-25 at every month (December is not same schedule.)

Here is from Kansai airport from about 4 hour.

Please ask me PM or direct send mail for them.

Gassho
Sat today
Kakunen


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ChrisMa]

Thank you. I will check the dates of my breaks from work and pm you. I know that I have a short break early next month, and a longer break near the end of May.

Gassho,

SatToday,

Chris