Sometimes I am a slow learner

[Shinshi]

I started my Zen journey in the 80s at the Minnesota Zen Center. I have posted before that this was a real pivotal moment for me. I came to see the world much differently after my exposure to Zen and I am very grateful for my experiences there.

And my interest in Zen teachings never waned. I became an enthusiastic consumer of Zen teachings. The number of books on Zen in my library is somewhere in the 100s. Now I have had a lot of time to acquire them but still, I have a lot.

I found these teachings very helpful and insightful. They kind of run the gamut from Tibetan, Visspassena, Zen - a lot of Thich Nhat Hanh - and boy does he crank out the books.

Almost all of them provided new insights and expanded my knowledge.

But I now think I got a little lost in there.

Some of you may have noted that while I have been a member here quite some time I don't have that many posts. And it took me until this year to undertake Jukai. A lot of coming and going for me. And one of the reasons for that was the whole sit before you post thing. My journey into Zen had become completely intellectual. I found the whole sitting thing superfluous and uninteresting. And since I had to sit before posting I tended to wander off and just study on my own.

I now view that as a mistake. I mean maybe it wasn't a mistake for me - maybe I had to take that path to end up here. But it still feels like some time wasted. Anyway, these last few months have opened my eyes that Zen is a practice that needs to be practiced. The doing of Zen is far more important than the knowing of Zen. The wisdom that comings from doing the Zen practice is more valuable than the knowledge about Zen that comes from study. I believe they are both important, but the doing is more important.

And sadly, somehow I lost track of that along the way.

So Ango and Jukai were a wonderful experience for me. They brought me back to when I first started and was sitting enthusiastically. I feels like I have been a little lost in the wilderness but have found my way home.

I surmise that most of you all already know this, but I wanted to both share my experience and just maybe help someone from getting a little lost like I was.

Gassho, Shinshi

SaT-LaH

[Kyonin]

Hi Shinshi,

IMHO that wasn't wasted time at all. You needed it in order to understand and learn.

It took me about 15 years to realize the same thing. So I'm a slower learner than you

It's all part of our practice. So come over here and sit zazen with us.

Gassho,

Kyonin
Sat/LAH

[Tairin]

I don’t have 100 books but I have quite a few. I started being interested in Zen 30 years ago. The problem for me was

1. I didn’t differentiate between the acedemic and the practical
2. I didn’t realize that Zen was actually a pretty large pool
3. Somehow it escaped me that Zen really needs to be practiced not just read about.

So apparently I am a slow learner too (are we competing for slowest? )

Anyway since I started really practicing Zen in a Sangha under the guidance of a teacher I’ve realized my folly. But honestly I don’t think I wasted time. My younger selves weren’t ready for this practice. I think I needed a certain amount of life experience to understand why Zen Buddhism is important to me.


Tairin
Sat today & LAH

[Shinshi]

Hi Shinshi,

IMHO that wasn't wasted time at all. You needed it in order to understand and learn.

It took me about 15 years to realize the same thing. So I'm a slower learner than you

It's all part of our practice. So come over here and sit zazen with us.

Gassho,

Kyonin
Sat/LAH

Thanks Kyonin. It might be as you say - I needed that time to come to the realization. But I also think I might have realized it a bit sooner.

Thank you for you invitation. I now treasure sitting with the Treeleaf folk.

The other thing that is interesting to me is that I used to be very anti-ritual. I would pretty much just plunk myself down on my Zafu. But I have come to really value the process of the ritual. Again, I feel it connects me back to my start - and to those who came before.

Gassho, Shinshi

SaT-LaH

[Shinshi]

I don’t have 100 books but I have quite a few. I started being interested in Zen 30 years ago. The problem for me was

1. I didn’t differentiate between the acedemic and the practical
2. I didn’t realize that Zen was actually a pretty large pool
3. Somehow it escaped me that Zen really needs to be practiced not just read about.

So apparently I am a slow learner too (are we competing for slowest? )

Anyway since I started really practicing Zen in a Sangha under the guidance of a teacher I’ve realized my folly. But honestly I don’t think I wasted time. My younger selves weren’t ready for this practice. I think I needed a certain amount of life experience to understand why Zen Buddhism is important to me.


Tairin
Sat today & LAH

Thank you Tairin, those are wonderful thoughts.

Gassho, Shinshi

SaT-LaH

[Doshin]

Thank you for sharing Shinshi. It was good to learn of another's journey. Mine started in the late 1960s and the journey was up, down and sideways. Lost track, returned, walked the path, was diverted. Years passed, then I returned. Transcedental, Vipassana, then eventually Zen. Several week long retreats. The one constant was sitting. I always knew that was of value to me. I still read a few books, read posts here and on other sites...some I understand, others leave me wondering. If confused, I just shrug and move forward..but sitting definitely resensonates.

Joy on your journey.

Gassho

Doshin
St

[Jishin]

If confused, I just shrug and move forward..but sitting definitely resensonates.

This sounds like sound thinking to me.

Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_ , LAH

[Jakuden]

Oh I so can relate Shinshi. I swear there is still a little part of my mind that is convinced that I will find the magic answer in the next book, and won’t ever need to sit again. I just laugh at it now though.
Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Getchi]

I was given a copy of the platform sutra before I was interested in Zen. I had been studying classical and ancient philosophy at the time, but suddenly I was captivated.

Good friend's, no time ever passes. Were has gone the ruddy face of youth when I like look in the mirror?

Its not correct to say "I wish I had", nor to wish " if only I had".

We each only live a life that is already not our own, and we only repeat the mistakes of others who came before us.

Let that weight drive you forward, but never believe there was ever anything to waste my brother.


SatToday
LaH

Gasshi,

Geoff.

[Jinyo]

Hello Shinshi,

I think we learn from all those seemingly 'wasted' times, distractions and crooked paths.
I got drawn into the 'intellectual' side of Zen as well - it was partly a thirst for knowledge/perfectionism and pride. I don't regret it and 'am enjoying
re-reading all the books now with the benefits of practice. Enforcing the 'sit today' ( and I mentally pushed against it too) was the best thing Jundo insisted on
for members such as myself. Every time I'm tempted to reach for a book rather than just sitting I'm reminded that the practice is key.

Happy reading and sitting

Gassho

Jinyo

ST

[Rakurei]

Isn't that the greatest joke? It's like you've been reading a recipe book for twenty years - and finally, you decided to shut up and cook.

I'm the same way, I've purchased hundreds of books on meditation, Zen and more. I used to take my college tuition refunds and splurge at the bookstore many years ago, I listen to Zen and spiritual podcasts at the gym. But they are all urging you to sit, practice, experience. To go beyond words and letter - so it becomes this big irony.

As Jinyo and others have said - there's a place for it.

But even Buddhist teachings are words, words to go beyond.

Enjoy,

Rakurei

ST

[MyoHo]

Can't learn how to swim from a book can ya? However, if you are going for an Olympic gold medal there is some stuff you need to study and learn from books. At least read what other Olympians have to say about it. So read and swim preferably not at the same time or maybe you should do that too just for laughs. Need a laugh too once in a while. Very important! ��

Gassho

MyoHo

[Jishin]

Sometimes I am a slow learner

My uncle threw me and my cousins in the pool before we knew how to swim.

My cousins went on to become competitive swimmers. I just learned to swim on that day.

Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_ , LAH

[Eva]

Hello all,
it's a nice reading how everyone finds their way to Zazen eventually. Myself included of course .
But I always say : slow is sometimes very fast . and wishing to be fast may take a looong time .

Zazen sits beyond time -not a moment is wasted not a second is gained . You have always "been" here and now, impossible to move anywhere from here and now .
But the journey itself - like a fallen leaves in autumn: every one in different color, like a memory for each summer day . It is just beautiful and it is all you .

Gassho,
eva
isattoday and also LAH

[aprapti]

this is a thread full of mirrors. Thanks for starting it, Shinshi.


Coos

std/lah