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Gassho
Eishuu
ST/LAHComment
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no, I agree with you Jakuden. The pain of compassion is also from the stories we tell ourselves. The fate of this deer is part of the circle 9f life and maybe other animals suffered less of hunger because of its death, who knows? Still, I feel things like these hit us harder because of our practice. It hits home harder when we have opened our hearts an minds to be present in this reality that is sometimes pretty and often not so pretty. It wasn't a tragedy until it was witnessed but that just might be the Koan in this story. Still sitting for all involved and the suffering because of this.
Gassho
MyoHoMuComment
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So much pain,
So much suffering.
Let us all try to cause as little pain and suffering as possible,
Let us be compassionate and loving in our daily choices
Let us be aware of the pain and suffering we cause for all sentient beings.
Metta for all.
Ryudo
SatToday/LAH流道
Ryū DouComment
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Thank you, Sekishi, I think I would have done the same. You don't know the outcome beforehand.
Gassho,
Stefan/Souchi
SatTodayComment
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Yes learning to be a Bodhisattva can be a tricky business. How to vow to save all sentient beings, mean it, live toward that end as best as one can, while at the same time, not being attached to outcomes and remembering we are not omnipotent judges of right and wrong in every situation.
One of my worst memories as a parent was when our dog got into the nest of baby bunnies in our front yard and hearing my younger daughter scream that they were gone. I don’t know if she was traumatized by that, but I must have been, because I still want to vomit just thinking about it [emoji21] Whenever I dive deeply into that incident though, I find that the sharpest pain comes not from the death of the rabbits, but from my daughter’s pain, the loss of her innocence, life is not Disney and baby bunnies get eaten... oh what I would give as a parent to protect my child from that pain... but the freedom from the pain is in acceptance, not in denial, or Disney movies, or wishing things were otherwise.
On a more practical note—since we do not keep guns but live in a rural area, we have cultivated good relationships with neighbors who do have them... it is nice to know that there are a couple of folks we could rely on to dispatch a wild animal in a case like this if we needed them. Everyone get to know their hunter neighbors!
Gassho
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH
Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkComment
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Thank you Tairin!
Even in animals, death is such a personal, individual bodily function... pets grip our hearts, as they share all their bodily functions completely willingly with us, but each still has their own unique, individual manner. I have euthanized probably thousands of animals, always because of a human's subjective assessment of poor life quality, and seen some meet their deaths with obvious sighs of relief, some with fear and struggle, some with outright stubborn resistance, and some with visible surprise (those are the hardest for me, for some reason). I am aware that each moment, millions of creatures I don't know are meeting their ends... some of them are old or sick, but many are young and healthy. Some of them are dying for a purpose we can assign, such as a meal for another creature, some are dying for no apparent reason we can fathom.
This is me chewing on this Koan of death with you, Sekishi. We all contain death within us, and our own individual reaction to the event will be just as much of a mystery as the manner of death itself until that moment reveals itself to us. Gratitude to the creatures (and other humans) who have shared this event in their lives with us, and Metta to all of us who have the knowledge of our own deaths and the suffering that knowledge causes. May we be at peace, embracing all conditions of life (including death)
Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH
ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLEComment
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I wanted to share another aspect of this story. There was a second animal who came into our lives that day.
In the late morning my cat caught a mouse somewhere in our house and brought it to me to show off. He is a pampered kittypet who is not allowed outside to prey on birds and such, so he was super proud of his catch.
I took his prize (who had no apparent injuries beyond some cuts and scrapes) and we set him up in little recuperation enclosure with fruit, nuts, etc. I was fully expecting him to succumb to an infection from the cat saliva in his wounds.
But no, he is healing well and is actually getting a little round tummy from the plenty of his current surroundings.
mouse-800x600.jpeg
In the morning we are going to release him in the barn on the back corner of our property.
Sometimes the deer dies, sometimes the mouse lives, each part of a seamless and perfect whole.
Gassho,
Sekishi
#satSekishi | 石志 | He/him | Better with a grain of salt, but best ignored entirely.Comment
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Reminds me of this cheese commercial that you have probably all seen. Hope your mouse story has an happy ending, too.
Gassho,
Stefan/Souchi
SatTodayComment
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Then the buzzard wasn't robbed of its meal.
The scavenging bird isn't as poetic or romanticized as the graceful whitetail but - it, too - must eat.
ST,
RakureiComment
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Awesome to hear this touching backstory from Sekishi which was referenced at Zazenkai. Thank you all for such moving posts
Gassho,
Hoyu
STHo 法 (Dharma)
Yu 湯 (Hot Water)Comment
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Hee hee that's one lucky little mousie. My associate has also been collecting mousies that we catch in live traps in the hospital (one of them had been leaving evidence on my desk!). Hopefully she is sorting them successfully by gender, or she will have more before spring when she plans to let them go...
Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday/LAHComment
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Thank you for sharing the encounters you had with the deer and the mouse, Sekishi. No words, I am just grateful you took the time to share, very heartfelt.
Gassho,
Joyo
sat today/lahComment
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The thought that ran through my head when I read your initial story was this: without meaning to, you caused fear/harm, even with good intentions. To me, this is the main reason we repeat the Verse of Atonement. We never really know if what we do will be beneficial or harmful, but, as others have pointed out, the reality is almost always both - what's good for the doe is bad for the buzzard. When reciting the Verse of Atonement in my personal practice, I leave off the word harmful/evil, because who knows which actions are the harmful ones? Even getting over strep throat means killing millions of bacteria, either through antibiotics or the body's natural defenses. We just do our best (as you did) and atone.
Dan (Shinsho)
Sat todayComment
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