Learning from changing sitting habits

[Seiraku]

Since last year my habit has been to sit in the morning, most days. However I noticed on the days I didn't sit that I'd have a little less patience in the day. In the back of my mind it's like I wasn't "prepared" to be gracious or compassionate that day since I didn't get my sit first.

I decided to switch to afternoons/evenings while trying be a benefit to others before zazen. While I've had a few less sits overall I think I've been able to just live with the precepts more in mind before and after zazen. Not needing to check the sit off the mental list before I try to be helpful Anyone experience something similar?

Gassho,
Seiraku
Sat/Lah

[Koriki]

It's not quite the same, but I used to run before work most days and there would be a pretty big difference in my equanimity on run days vs non-run days. I'm sure that my co-workers could tell in a few seconds whether I had run or not when I came through the door into our pretty high stress environment. Was it going to be chill Koriki or slightly uptight Koriki? I've no doubt that they much preferred post-run Koriki.

Gassho,
post-Zazen Koriki
s@lah

[Jundo]

I switch up a lot with regard to times and places. Usually, a brief morning sit, but then during the day, I may sit anywhere at the drop of a hat ... wherever and whenever the inspiration comes.

It is all different, like the weather. There is not a certain place and time that produces a certain consistent feeling. Rather, the world changes ... feelings change ... times change ... EVEN AS ... the unchanging, silent, still is present as all of this.

Don't worry about what appears in the mirror ... the ever changing forms. Rather, sit AS the mirror.

https://forum.treeleaf.org/forum/treeleaf/the-beginner-s-place/a-series-of-talks-for-new-folks/9656-sit-a-long-with-jundo-zazen-for-beginners-10?14886-Sit-a-Long-with-Jundo-Zazen-for-Beginners-(10)=

Gassho, J
stlah

[michaelw]

I find that long sessions like zazenkai are better in the morning - European time. My own personal choice though is late afternoon. In a previous life this was Vespers the closing of the day. Zazen at this time feels natural especially when you start in daylight and end in dark or twilight. Other than that anytime.

Gassho
MichaelW

satlah

[Seikan]

I like a balance of structured practice and unstructured, spontaneous practice when it comes to zazen. I sit every morning as part of my "routine" as it forms a solid foundation for my day and my practice overall. After that, I do like to practice a bit of Insta-zazen at random times throughout the day, often for only a few moments (or sometimes only a few breaths while waiting for a traffic light to change). I find such an approach to be a great way to invite our "zazen mind" into unplanned and unexpected places/moments.

With time, this approach has led me to sometimes just organically "drop in" to zazen without thinking about or planning it—sometimes while at my desk, getting dressed in the morning, waiting in line for coffee, etc. I find it to be a wonderful extension/expansion of practice.

Gassho,
Seikan
stlah

[Shonin Risa Bear]

Although I do a lot of "hermiting" I'd describe it as more samu related than sitting practice. As a retiree I find so many Zoom sit opportunities that I just avail myself of those throughout most days, so hardly ever sit alone.

gassho, satlah shonin

[Hokai]

I have noticed what my Siamese cat does:
Sits for a while, when the mood takes him,
then gets up and does other things.

Gassho
Hōkai
SatLah

[Junsho]

Hi Seiraku,

From what I can tell, when I go a day without zazen (which is rare but not impossible), I don't feel less patient like you do (this happens when I have insomnia). On days like that, I feel my capacity to focus decrease dramatically. Thus, when I decide to sit, my mind is a total mess, like a monkey jumping from one place to another. This behavior ceases during a second zazen, after the kinhin.

Zazen is good for nothing, but as a philosopher once said, you develop the habit, and the habit also develops you. So, I really believe that, even though this is not the main goal of zazen, the act of sitting can change your mind, bringing more peace and clarity to your life, physiologically speaking.

Though don't be stuck on this idea; I will practice zazen to improve this or that. Zazen practice is in every act of our daily lives; do not expect anything, jit.

Gassho and deep bows,
SatLah

[Dachi]

I’ve been traveling the last two weeks, so my routine has been seriously thrown off. Some of the missed days were better than others (for myself…and those around me ).

I do my best to sit every morning for 30 minutes and not say, “I’ll find time later today,” because I often don’t find that 30 minutes. Like Seikan, I also try to sit quietly for a few minutes multiple times throughout the day.

My goal for next Ango is to add a 30-minute evening sit — but I’ll hopefully find the time and will to do so earlier.

Gassho, Jason
sat/lah

[Douglas]

Hi Seiraku,

From what I can tell, when I go a day without zazen (which is rare but not impossible), I don't feel less patient like you do (this happens when I have insomnia). On days like that, I feel my capacity to focus decrease dramatically. Thus, when I decide to sit, my mind is a total mess, like a monkey jumping from one place to another. This behavior ceases during a second zazen, after the kinhin.

Zazen is good for nothing, but as a philosopher once said, you develop the habit, and the habit also develops you. So, I really believe that, even though this is not the main goal of zazen, the act of sitting can change your mind, bringing more peace and clarity to your life, physiologically speaking.

Though don't be stuck on this idea; I will practice zazen to improve this or that. Zazen practice is in every act of our daily lives; do not expect anything, jit.

Gassho and deep bows,
SatLah

This particular part of Zen has always struck me as quite interesting, if that is the right word: we must refrain from attributing any benefit to or goal-seeking in zazen, yet at the same time, as human beings who live conceptually, our decision and motivation to engage in the practice of zazen must have some sort of reason, or else we would not engage in it at all.

It's something that has struck me as quite important, that although grasping is what causes suffering (partly) there is no getting rid of grasping. I recognize that there IS motivation to sit zazen, but trying harder to release that seems only to result in grasping even more.

Gassho
SAT/LAH

[Junsho]

Hi Douglas,

[Please consider what I say below as friendly advice; I am just a student like you and not a teacher at all.]

I hope I can help you with this. This seems to be a very tricky concept for several people. From what I can see now, the point is not really to refrain from attributing benefit to zazen. It is about engaging in your practice, expecting something.

Zazen's goal is to have no goal since there is nothing to reach and nowhere to go, everything the we are looking is right under our feet. Just sit by the action of sitting. The reality is right here and now, please don't put more filters over the reality with expectations.

Gassho and deep bows.
SatLah

[Bion]

This particular part of Zen has always struck me as quite interesting, if that is the right word: we must refrain from attributing any benefit to or goal-seeking in zazen, yet at the same time, as human beings who live conceptually, our decision and motivation to engage in the practice of zazen must have some sort of reason, or else we would not engage in it at all.

It's something that has struck me as quite important, that although grasping is what causes suffering (partly) there is no getting rid of grasping. I recognize that there IS motivation to sit zazen, but trying harder to release that seems only to result in grasping even more.

Gassho
SAT/LAH

Well, having explicit goals during zazen is indeed pointless. Sitting itself is the goal: the complete unfolding of reality in that moment, without our usual interference.
Yet we still need some motivation to keep returning to the cushion. It’s wise to notice what unfolds in our lives because of sitting, rather than trying to forcefully discard all motivation. In my view, it’s better to allow zazen itself to clarify why we sit, and then continue from that understanding.

Sometimes we start from the wrong questions and chase after answers. That very pursuit can reveal that our original question was off the mark.
I could list many benefits I’ve found in zazen, and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging them. Trouble comes when we begin to chase those benefits instead of realizing that practice for its own sake is the real secret.

It’s a bit like drinking water. When we reach for a glass, we’re generally just responding to a natural need, almost without thinking about it. We know the benefits of drinking water, but we don’t usually cling to them, nor do they sit front and center and dictate our habit of drinking. I’d compare zazen to that, in a sense.

I don't think there's a need to beat ourselves up for anything.

gassho
sat lah

[Douglas]

Well, having explicit goals during zazen is indeed pointless. Sitting itself is the goal: the complete unfolding of reality in that moment, without our usual interference.
Yet we still need some motivation to keep returning to the cushion. It’s wise to notice what unfolds in our lives because of sitting, rather than trying to forcefully discard all motivation. In my view, it’s better to allow zazen itself to clarify why we sit, and then continue from that understanding.

Sometimes we start from the wrong questions and chase after answers. That very pursuit can reveal that our original question was off the mark.
I could list many benefits I’ve found in zazen, and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging them. Trouble comes when we begin to chase those benefits instead of realizing that practice for its own sake is the real secret.

It’s a bit like drinking water. When we reach for a glass, we’re generally just responding to a natural need, almost without thinking about it. We know the benefits of drinking water, but we don’t usually cling to them, nor do they sit front and center and dictate our habit of drinking. I’d compare zazen to that, in a sense.

I don't think there's a need to beat ourselves up for anything.

gassho
sat lah

Although I understand that all analogies have issues and are, fundamentally, just analogies, I really do like your water example.

On another interesting note, and no pun intended given what I’m about to say, something came to mind while I was walking outside and being a bit mindful. For some reason, I found myself reflecting on the mind while listening to music. It is amazing how, for the most part, we do not really think about the music while listening to it. We just listen as it comes, as each note comes and as each note goes.

That made me wonder whether zazen is a bit like listening to music. Not because music is outside of “what is” since it too is obviously part of what is, but because in those moments there can be just the listening, without so much standing apart from it and thinking about it. So perhaps zazen is a bit like that, except rather than music, it is just this moment, or what is, as it is.

Gassho
SAT/LAH

[Seiraku]

Thanks for all your responses everyone! To your point Douglas I sometimes try to listen to environmental sounds as if it was music, like some ambient symphony of cars or dripping pipes, whether I’m out on errands or sitting.

Gassho,
Seiraku
satlah