When compassion becomes overwhelming

[Douglas]

One thing that has happened as a result of my practice is that I am seeing suffering more clearly. I see my own suffering, of course, but I notice the suffering of others even more. This isn't limited to global suffering, which concerns me greatly, but more specifically, I see the suffering of those close to me with more clarity. I notice especially the self-inflicted pain they endure and how they direct anger at myself and others.

It has become very apparent to me as I practice that anger itself is just an emotion, an experience (you will certainly have it), but allowing that anger to dictate your actions usually ends in some sort of minor or major disaster. There is a quote that says anger is like picking up a hot coal and throwing it at others: it hurts them and yourself at the same time.

How does one keep walking the Bodhisattva path when experiencing this intensity, the more you walk that path?

It is disheartening, to say the least.

Gassho
SAT LAH

[Bion]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, Douglas. Isn’t it something how compassion develops, grows, and shows its strength?

To walk the bodhisattva path is always to have one foot in suffering. It’s in the job description, and we don’t really want to be blind to the suffering of those around us, do we? To desensitize ourselves as a means of protection would ultimately be harmful and would lead us astray from practicing the Buddha Way.

Whenever it becomes overwhelming, we need to remind ourselves that we can’t remove anyone’s suffering, but we can always offer a hand, whether they take it or not. We can’t cling to our desire to see everyone liberated and happy, because that kind of attachment is harmful; we just continue to do the work.

We have to work continuously to maintain a balance between compassion and wisdom. Wisdom tempers compassion and makes it manageable. That is our aim: to develop the wisdom necessary to keep walking this path. We do this by continually cultivating all those good qualities we learn about—the ones the Precepts point to and the ones described in the Noble Eightfold Path.

With zazen as a foundation, we ground it all in awareness and equanimity.

Hope this helps a bit. Someone wiser will probably give you a better response.

Gassho
sat lah

[Douglas]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, Douglas. Isn’t it something how compassion develops, grows, and shows its strength?

To walk the bodhisattva path is always to have one foot in suffering. It’s in the job description, and we don’t really want to be blind to the suffering of those around us, do we? To desensitize ourselves as a means of protection would ultimately be harmful and would lead us astray from practicing the Buddha Way.

Whenever it becomes overwhelming, we need to remind ourselves that we can’t remove anyone’s suffering, but we can always offer a hand, whether they take it or not. We can’t cling to our desire to see everyone liberated and happy, because that kind of attachment is harmful; we just continue to do the work.

We have to work continuously to maintain a balance between compassion and wisdom. Wisdom tempers compassion and makes it manageable. That is our aim: to develop the wisdom necessary to keep walking this path. We do this by continually cultivating all those good qualities we learn about—the ones the Precepts point to and the ones described in the Noble Eightfold Path.

With zazen as a foundation, we ground it all in awareness and equanimity.

Hope this helps a bit. Someone wiser will probably give you a better response.

Gassho
sat lah

I really love your response. This is very helpful. Thank you!

Gassho
sat lah

[Houzan]

Hi Douglas,

I really share your feeling here. The more I practice, the more suffering I notice in myself and others, and sometimes it feels too much, even overwhelming. Today was one of those days: after 1.5 hours of anxiety my mind went, “So much practice, and you are still so terrified of death!”

For me, the way I understand this is that there is no need to fix these feelings (exception when it leads to clinical depression, etc.). Practice, as I see it, is to bear witness, also to suffering, and also to our reactions to suffering. I don’t think it is meant to become easy. It’s just how it is sometimes. It’s in the job description, like Bion says Wisdom, or zazen mind, is not another view to adopt, but the dropping off of taking any views at all. And when even that cannot be done, dropping the idea that it must be done as well. When the hand of thought opens, everything is allowed to come, and everything is allowed to go as well. And then, from there, we just keep walking. So easy to write, but far from easy to do.

Gassho, Hōzan
satlah

[Bion]

Wisdom, or zazen mind, is not another view to adopt, but the dropping off of taking any views at all. And when even that cannot be done, dropping the idea that it must be done as well. When the hand of thought opens, everything is allowed to come, and everything is allowed to go as well. And then, from there, we just keep walking. So easy to write, but far from easy to do.

Gassho, Hōzan
satlah

The wisdom I mention is that which comes from perfecting right view, right action, right intention and effort. It is the ability to see things clearly, and to know what is skillful and appropriate and what not, and how to respond to what is in front of us. This is something that is developed and also something essential for living life well. A lot of folks sit on the cushion for long periods but are not very nice off it.

I think you said it right: it’s not a matter of fixing feelings, cause the feelings are what they are, and they’re already there. But one pays attention and looks at the root of those feelings to see if there is something that needs attention and care. Wisdom is in charge of that.

If I constantly feel anger, for example, I don’t push it away, I acknowledge it, show it compassion, but then go and tackle the origin of it. I might need to develop more patience, forgiveness or compassion, or I might need to release the grasping of self-centered ideas or whatever might be appropriate. The flame of it will die down faster and maybe the next time it’ll take much longer to be ignited again. The same applies to when we feel overcome by despair, sadness, grief, etc..

Although everything is allowed to come, we don’t need to invite everything to stay.

gassho
sat lah

[Jundo]

I think of the surgeon who, called in to the operating room to save an emergency patient, must empathize with the patient and their pain, but must also be clinical and stand cool and collected in order to be effective in their work. One does not want a doctor who does not care about the patient and their struggles, nor a doctor so swept up in emotion that they fail to act efficiently and calmly.

It is like this. Find the right balance of Wisdom and Compassion, saving the drowning swimmer without oneself being pulled under the water to drown.

We have had social workers, medical doctors in Africa, fire fighters and police as members, and I always tell them the same. Even the Buddha saw suffering, sought to help the suffering sentient beings, but stood cool and calm within.

Gassho, J
stlah

[Onki]

Hey Douglas,

I sure feel this!

Constantly focusing on the suffering of others as well as yourself can be exhausting and draining. Suddenly, strangers, friends, and even ourselves have their own stories and challenges we know nothing about.

Practice can open our eyes and hearts. However, this may be a double edged sword; seeing and feeling so deeply and seeing and feeling so deeply!

The world is full of suffering, no matter what you do, no matter where you go.

We need to take care of ourselves, both body and mind. This can include our Practice. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, this is our Practice.

The Four Vows say:

To save all sentient being though beings numberless,
To transform all delusions, though delusions inexhaustible,
To perceive Reality, though Reality is boundless
To attain the Enlightened Way, a Way unattainable

As my personal hero Mr Rogers said:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. There are always people helping.”

Despite all of the suffering in the world, we sit. We Practice. We do our best.

Gasshō,

On

s/l