Frustration with the body during Zazen

[Anthony]

Lately, I have found myself unable to "just be" during zazen. It feels like my body is constantly getting in the way. Whether it's random itches, tiredness/discomfort in my legs, my eyes darting or remaining too closed, the need to shift around in my cushion etc. This has always been a problem for me to some extent, but lately it's felt almost like torture and I'm finding myself unable to get past it. Wondering if anyone has experienced this or has words of advice.

Gassho,
Anthony satlah

[Bion]

Hi, Anthony. I'd say, yes.. we all have days or even periods where things just are "different". It's ok. I have loads of days when things are just not how I expect them to be. Remember, the sitting is always new and always a product of whatever circumstances form the moment you're sitting. The more you try to fight it, the worse it gets. It's like when the body feels pain and then starts to make the muscles tense, and then we fight against that pain and it just gets progressively harder to cope with. My unsolicited advice is: let it be, pay it no attention. Resolve to simply sit, body and mind in harmony. Do whatever you can of course to relax the body before sitting, maybe stretch, sit at a different time when you feel more relaxed, sit in a different environment for a while, etc .. Find if there's something that is making you anxious off the cushion. Usually, it's not that we are anxious DURING zazen, it's just that in zazen, with the clean backdrop of all the open senses and awareness free, we notice precisely what is up with ourselves. An itch can wait, a little pain is ok, if eyes close a bit you open them again, if you're uncomfortable but it's not necessarily unbearable, it can wait... etc. Just sit, mind and body in the same place.

Gassho
sat lah

[Kokuu]

Hi Anthony

I experience this regularly with sitting due to chronic pain. However, the truth is that we are embodied beings and our bodies are the way rather than being in the way. When we sit, we sit with everything just as it is, which includes the pain, the itches, the darting eyes, and need to shift around on the cushion. This is just how life is in a human body. The Buddha tried aesthetic practice of ignoring the body and found that it did not work. Instead, after awakening, he taught the Four Foundations of Mindfulness which begin with mindfulness of the body.

Usually we recommend a middle way approach of tolerating discomfort as much as we can and moving when there is real pain or things get too much. However, for you at present, I might suggest that making the body the object of you meditation might be helpful for a time. If you need to itch, itch with full mindfulness. If you need to move, move but be aware of your movement. Be intimate and attentive of your body's needs.

Another thought is if you are actually tired when you are sitting with the heaviness and tiredness/discomfort in your legs? Sometimes we just aren't getting sufficient rest and it is important that we have that otherwise during sitting the body is basically trying to catch up with the rest it needs. Also, some stretching beforehand might help.

A third thought is to reduce your sitting time for now and see if that makes things easier to sit with, just allowing what is to be as it is.

Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday/lah-

[MalleableGirlParts]

Lately, I have found myself unable to "just be" during zazen. It feels like my body is constantly getting in the way. Whether it's random itches, tiredness/discomfort in my legs, my eyes darting or remaining too closed, the need to shift around in my cushion etc. This has always been a problem for me to some extent, but lately it's felt almost like torture and I'm finding myself unable to get past it. Wondering if anyone has experienced this or has words of advice.

Gassho,
Anthony satlah

Hi,

I understand this. Strangely, I find this more often during the scheduled sits. Much of the reason I don't often sit during the scheduled times is anxiety of making it through 30 minutes without fidgeting like a fool.

I almost never have found this to be a problem if I'm in person at a class. I'm not exactly sure why. Probably because I'm not surrounded by my things I suppose.

So no real words of advice, just commiserating. Lol

[Anthony]

Thanks all for providing your perspectives and words of advice. Today's sit was a bit better for me.

Gassho,
Anthony satlah.

[Seiko]

Lately, I have found myself unable to "just be" during zazen. It feels like my body is constantly getting in the way. Whether it's random itches, tiredness/discomfort in my legs, my eyes darting or remaining too closed, the need to shift around in my cushion etc. This has always been a problem for me to some extent, but lately it's felt almost like torture and I'm finding myself unable to get past it. Wondering if anyone has experienced this or has words of advice.

Gassho,
Anthony satlah

Hi Anthony,
As I am only a trainee here and a novice, please take a pinch of salt with my words.

My first lesson in walking meditation was from a Thai forest monk. He said as you walk you may notice a flower, then move on. The same goes for sitting. Some days flowers, other days itching, peacefulness, aches, calm, fidgets, euphoria - notice and move on.

Of course, if you really have to scratch or move, go ahead - it's not an endurance test, but we don't always have to react.

Gasshō, Seiko, stlah