Want to Feel More Connected to the Sangha

[Anthony]

Sorry for running long. Just venting a bit here. Lately, I feel that I should become more involved with Treeleaf and the sangha. My posting has not been so common lately, both due to a failing in daily practice, but also because I feel a sense of distance.

I wish I could attend the weekly/monthly zazenkai, but I live on the east coast of the United States, and these tend to fall on Friday evening for me which is usually reserved for spending time with my wife and/or friends. Needless to say, the European and Kiwi timezone ones are at a bit too odd an hour for me. While I know I can always experience the zazenkai "any time, anywhere", I have not been doing a good job of this consistently. This is my own fault, I should try harder and do better.

One option for me may be to join one of the daily sits on the calendar. I think there are certainly times I could manage. But I don't know if this is a good way to connect with the sangha as a whole, and to be honest I am a bit nervous to start!

Just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to maintain connection when timing isn't ideal. I know that part of this is on me to do better and be more consistent. With my practice, I feel like I am constantly falling off the path and having to pick myself up and come back to practice.

Gassho,
Anthony
satlah

[Tairin]

Hi Anthony

i am in largely the same boat as you. I am also in Eastern North America and I find the Friday Zazenkai timing is problematic for exactly the same reasons you mentioned - Friday evenings / family time. I think in my nine years of being with TreeLeaf I have managed to join the Friday Zazenkai maybe ten times. I generally sit them on Sunday.

My solution was to prioritize sitting with one of the daily sittings. I sit with the 9:30 pm group led by Viveka, Onsho and Jippou most nights. It helps feel connected and supporting other members practice. Come join us if you can make that time.


Tairin
sat today and lah

[Bion]

Hi, Anthony! You've got the good idea there! If the weekly zazenkai don't work for your schedule, pick a daily sit that might and join that! Nerves will go away the second you're doing it. Those are good chances to practice with folks and maybe overcome your shyness a bit by saying hello! We try not to be too formal or cold, so it's always appropriate to say hello, for example. We also have our weekly tea houses that might be a good chance to connect with folks. Sitting quietly for 30 minutes is nice, but it doesn't create bonds the same way a good chat would.

There is the option of also joining at least the monthly Fusatsu ceremony. We definitely keep that welcoming, warm and we want to make it feel like one is joining good friends and family. It is also an important event for most of the Buddhist world and has been so for the past 2600 years.
The forum is also a good place to engage more with folks. interact in discussions if your time allows, send a PM to someone you feel you might click with.. Find out if sangha members want to connect off the forum, on social media, via messaging apps.. Many of us are connected over Instagram, Facebook, have each other's phone numbers, engage on Insight Timer...

Connecting with the sangha "as a whole" is a difficult thing. We have members of all kinds, and some you'll never see or get a chance to talk to unless you are present as specific sits or events. That's also ok.. we can't know everyone, given the nature of Treeleaf.
You can be as creative as you want to be regarding how to get closer to the sangha. You can try our different groups, see if maybe any of the ongoing discussions might engage you. You can find a lit of our community groups here : COMMUNITY>>

Hope this helps, and please feel free to ask any questions. I'd be happy to clarify any doubts!

Gassho
sat lah

[Steve Rossiter]

Hi Anthony, same deal here.
I live in New Jersey, and struggled to find my way around Treeleaf. Like you, I was (and still am) inconsistent with my practice. Like you, i wasn't exactly outgoing in the Sangha either. I started joining the free sitting room, where I could feel part of the Sangha, and maintain my shyness. I started watching Jundo's beginners series, read the suggested threads to get familiar with the people, and felt more connected. Than, one day I discovered the daily sit with Onki, and i was home! The point (i know, it took a while ) is, you're doing great, just dip a toe, than a foot, than....everything!

Hope that helps a bit.
Gassho bro. SatLAH

[Onsho]

Heya!
If you are up for it, i'm more than happy to join you for your first group sit. It's intimidating! It certainly takes putting your self in a position to risk feeling awkward. If sitting with a group is a goal of yours, send me a dm and we can meet a bit earlier than the scheduled sit and answer all your questions and familiarize you with the situation. The group that Tairin mentioned is a very warm group of regulars and im very attached to everyone there.

Something very insightful I have heard before is that your success in doing anything well, depends on your comfort of the exact opposite happening.

Sitting with the same group on a regular basis, definitely feels like community. You get to know everyone's mannerisms, you quickly find out who has a cat! Most importantly, it makes me feel connected to something bigger than just myself.

Gassho
Onsho
satlah

[Kaitan]

This is my own fault, I should try harder and do better.

This happens to me too. How I see it is that Zen shows us an alternative: not trying so hard, allowing yourself to fail, and not feeling bad about it, we all do what we can, there's no other way around that. I hope this helps, even remembering this for one or two breaths is very powerful to me.



stlah, Kaitan

[Hokai]

I have exactly the same problem, busy young family and elderly parents to look after ( who live a distance away), this takes up most of my weekend and also doing a University degree…

I try to go to the monthly Fusatsu , but recently I’ve been thinking I should make a commitment to stay up late on Friday into Saturday and participate live in the Zazenkai, it would be at 0200 for me! Would be an interesting commitment and discipline to do it…..I did enjoy last years Ango period, which, I think, adds structure for us.

I, most often, end up sitting at odd times and in snatched moments, perhaps that’s just how it is for the moment.

Then again, I frequently worry about trying too hard and not doing enough, it’s a paradox!
Gassho
Hōkai
satlah

[Bion]

I try to go to the monthly Fusatsu , but recently I’ve been thinking I should make a commitment to stay up late on Friday into Saturday and participate live in the Zazenkai, it would be at 0200 for me! Would be an interesting commitment and discipline to do it…..

Oh boy, is it ever. It does however get comfortable with time, but it requires quite some adjustment to one's habits. Sunday mornings, if I remember correctly, don't work for you, right?

Gassho
sat lah

[Hokai]

Oh boy, is it ever. It does however get comfortable with time, but it requires quite some adjustment to one's habits. Sunday mornings, if I remember correctly, don't work for you, right?

Gassho
sat lah

that’s right Bion, Sundays we go to my parents, it’s an hour each way, we take the kids for lunch and do various chores for them so I view it as a kind of Samu !

Gassho
Hōkai
satlah

[Jundo]

I try to go to the monthly Fusatsu , but recently I’ve been thinking I should make a commitment to stay up late on Friday into Saturday and participate live in the Zazenkai, it would be at 0200 for me! Would be an interesting commitment and discipline to do it…..I did enjoy last years Ango period, which, I think, adds structure for us.

Hi HK,

I really don't recommend that. Bion is special (he is a vampire of the night ), but otherwise ... for health, for family ... sleep at night. If you join the recording later, I assure you that you are still thoroughly "here" with us. Or join another sitting. Even the Buddha slept at night.

Gassho, Jundo
Stlah

[Bion]

Hi HK,

I really don't recommend that. Bion is special (he is a vampire of the night ), but otherwise ... for health, for family ... sleep at night. If you join the recording later, I assure you that you are still thoroughly "here" with us. Or join another sitting. Even the Buddha slept at night.

Gassho, Jundo
Stlah

Dracula-1992-Francis-Ford-Coppola.jpg

Listen to them...the children of the night... What sweet music they make...

Gassho
sat lah

[Hokai]

Hi HK,

I really don't recommend that. Bion is special (he is a vampire of the night ), but otherwise ... for health, for family ... sleep at night. If you join the recording later, I assure you that you are still thoroughly "here" with us. Or join another sitting. Even the Buddha slept at night.

Gassho, Jundo
Stlah

Thank you Jundo, I do get what you say about using the recordings, I find them very useful although I guess it’s only human to want to be ‘ there’ in real time. ( off to read Uji again!)

I do think that this has become quite a profound thread, it raises ( for me at least) some very deep questions about the nature of what it is to practice and also the tendency I think we all have to look too hard -and in doing that I think we separate ourselves even more.


so many openings

through which the world

enters,

mingles,

melts into me

only to flow on

into others, world

into self,

self into

world


Gassho
Hōkai
satlah
IMG_3006.jpg

[Anthony]

Thanks for your responses, folks. It always makes me feel better to know that there are other people experiencing similar things and that I'm not deficient in some way.

I this week's zazenkai today from across space and time. Some other things I will try to feel that connection:

- I'd like to join a daily sitting. Looking at the times, probably Onki's will work best for me. Thank you to Onsho and to all those who offered their groups. I hope I can sit with you soon.

- The Fusatsu ceremony is something I haven't experienced yet. I will try to make it to this month's ceremony.

- Depending on how early I am able to wake up, I may be able to attend the next teahouse! It's at 5 AM for me, and I actually do wake up at 5 AM most days, so as long as I don't wake up late, I may be able to make it.

Gassho,
Anthony satlah

[Bion]

- Depending on how early I am able to wake up, I may be able to attend the next teahouse! It's at 5 AM for me, and I actually do wake up at 5 AM most days, so as long as I don't wake up late, I may be able to make it.

Oh, isn's the American tea house in the afternoon? Or are you talking about the one tomorrow ?

Gassho
sat lah

[Steve Rossiter]

Oh boy, is it ever. It does however get comfortable with time, but it requires quite some adjustment to one's habits.

So True. And it took forever to finally get a rhythm for practice, but it happened.

Gassho, SatLAH