Queerness and Liberation

[Onsho]

I was thinking this morning about what It means to me to be a queer Buddhist. After looking closely at the intersection between queerness and Dharma. I saw them meld together so perfectly, and wanted to open myself up to you all.

With Dharma essential being the training to be free, just as queerness is also a practice of being free. Letting go, accepting, stewarding your ethics. Both truly a liberating experience.

From there the thought of how common it is that Buddhism gets used as a form of therapy, self help, and how theological discussions are often met with personal hardships. I feel most of us have been in a group conversation about the Dharma where someone (for lack of a better definition) turns it into personal therapy. Putting all of this together, I saw the connections.

For example:
-leaving an abusive relationships
-distancing yourself from harmful family
-reconciling your worth as a child
-embracing your sexuality
-accepting your gender
-risking a career change later in life
And really, the most monumental moments of our lives where we find our place in all of this.

These are personal liberations.
Held gently by the Dharma.
Flowing beautifully through one another. Exchanging strength, wisdom and resilience from one another.
Made by one another.
Made for one another.

Thank you for holding my experience.

Gassho
Onshō
SatLah

[Seiko]

I was thinking this morning about what It means to me to be a queer Buddhist.

Hi Onsho,
Lovely. Thank you for your openness in sharing this.

I am just a novice priest and not a teacher, so please don't mistake my comments for Dharma.

Yes, I think whoever we share our lives with, applying the precepts to our relationships is always good.

Gasshō, Seiko, stlah

[Kokuu]

Thank you for sharing this, Onsho

In the light of our recent discussion I think this is a great example of talking about something that might be seen as political but doing it in a way that instead relates it to practice.

Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday/lah-

[Taigen]

Beautiful, Onsho. I always love hearing your gentle thoughts, reflections, and comments.

Gassho,
Taigen
SatLah

[Shoshin]

Thanks, Onshō

I cannot add much to it right now but that I'm grateful for your sharing.

Gassho,
Satlah

[Hosai]

more please!

_/\_
sat/ah
hōsai

[Onsho]

I would like to invite anyone to share where you have met your sense of liberation outside of your zen practice. Was is hard earned? Was it there the whole time?

Onshō

[Shoshin]

I would like to invite anyone to share where you have met your sense of liberation outside of your zen practice. Was is hard earned? Was it there the whole time?

Onshō

What a beautiful question and invitation.
I've met my sense of liberation outside my practice (although aid by it sometimes) when:

- 13 years ago I divorced from an abusive husband.
This was hard earned. Yup
- Last summer I joined my first LGTB+ parade and I told all my family (I'm now married with another cis man and I had never told some of my family members that I'm queer). This was easy and joyful.
- I realised I am not the kind of person and the role that some members of my family have assigned for me. This was and is hard still.
- I realised I can be faithful to my values and I can protect my boundaries. As long as I do it with kindness and from compassion towards others, now I know that have the right to do it.

The last ones are work in progress and zen practice is helping me a lot.

Thanks

Gassho,
Satlah

[Bion]

I would like to invite anyone to share where you have met your sense of liberation outside of your zen practice. Was is hard earned? Was it there the whole time?

Onshō

I don't think I can answer that, since I don't conceive freedom without practice, nor can I think of anything "outside" of practice. I do think of the Buddha's words, regarding those who practice and have "high thoughts", or an emancipated mind: " they exert themselves. To no abode are they attached. Like swans that quit their pools, home after home they abandon".

Gassho
sat lah

[Taigen]

I would like to invite anyone to share where you have met your sense of liberation outside of your zen practice. Was is hard earned? Was it there the whole time?

Onshō

The moment I realized my religion was a human creation. That was hard earned. Even harder was leaving it.
Realizing I'm autistic (I was officially diagnosed recently!). That was....a relief. It explained a lot. And it was truly there the whole time.
Getting my first job as an interpretive naturalist. That was also hard earned, but it offered a way to both redeem and be free from my first career.

So many more, I'm sure. But these ones seem important right now.

Gassho,
Taigen
SatLah

[Jundo]

Lovely. Yes.

All gentle, kind people should be respected and honored for who they are, their uniqueness and our human sameness, each living their own good life ... LGBTQ, gay or straight or square or round, black, white, brown, red, blue or green.

Lovely. There is ample space in the Sangha for all.

Gassho, Jundo
stlah

[Houzan]

Thank you for sharing, Onshō
Some of the bigger stones I have disposed of from my backpack, was letting go of my career ambitions. These ambitions were at a point like a jail for my mind. It was hard earned, but at the same time the most easy thing to do, like bursting a soap bubble. I know it doesn’t sound impressive, but oh my, it was liberating and my backpack has been so much lighter ever since.

Gassho, Hōzan
satlah

[Shoshin]

Thank you for sharing, Onshō
Some of the bigger stones I have disposed of from my backpack, was letting go of my career ambitions. These ambitions were at a point like a jail for my mind. It was hard earned, but at the same time the most easy thing to do, like bursting a soap bubble. I know it doesn’t sound impressive, but oh my, it was liberating and my backpack has been so much lighter ever since.

Gassho, Hōzan
satlah

It does sound impressive and important
And life-changing
Thanks for sharing
Gassho,
Satlah

[Hosai]

I would like to invite anyone to share where you have met your sense of liberation outside of your zen practice. Was is hard earned? Was it there the whole time?

Onshō

I think I have mentioned to you that I live in a particularly intolerant part of the country when it comes to LGBTQIA+ issues.

I know so many people who are not "out" but who felt comfortable telling me anyway. Some people very close to me.... I work in the schools where recently there have been crackdowns on teachers being allowed to use names that the children choose for themselves without first calling to check with the parents (which would effectively out them to intolerant parents)..

It makes me think about a young person close to me in my extended family who is gender non conforming... they have been very fortunate to have an understanding family, But this town is starting to take its toll as they go through puberty. I can see the beginnings of the internal oppression, I can see the roots of self-hatred and self-doubt beginning for this kid.

I have lived through a period of time where it did seem that there was hope for a more liberated society. I remember when I was in high school one of my guy Friends came out to my rather closed-minded group of friends at the time (This was the mid-90s). He was ostracised from the group when he did that and anybody who chose to remain friends with him was "guilty" by association... I remained silent then....

never again...

I start to realise that many of our Zen ancestors lived during even more conservative and oppressive times (albeit without the mass surveillance).... and for those who felt that oppression and hopelessness very keenly they did the only thing that made sense.... Sat down and looked at their own mind.... When they looked at their own mind, they saw freedom to think whatever they wanted to within their own skull.... and no one could control this...

however, we are now living in an age that has become expert at controlling what is between our ears.... and now we have invented an AI overlord (s) Who are going to learn how to control people even better than humans have in the past.

If anything the controlling environment in many zen sanghas is a perfect practise environment and reflection of the world "out there". Can you find liberation in the oppression?

_/\_
sat/ah
Hōsai

[Shoshin]

Can you find liberation in the oppression?

_/\_
sat/ah
Hōsai

One of my dearests and closest relatives spent one month in preventive jail for something he was a suspect of. While he was there he didn't know how long he would stay there.
He was only 19 years old at the time. In one of the visits I payed to him he told me: "I spend my time reading, reflecting and writing. I also look through the window to the world outside. I see four walls and a door through which I'm not allowed to go. And I realise that as long as I don't hold in me a desire to go through this door I remain a free man".
Only 19 years old. I was truly moved.

Gassho
Satlah