Blessing amongst the noise

[Jundo]

So would you consider Jundo to be your friend? Is he friends with everyone? If yes, then it negates the definition. If no then what are the criteria?

_/\_
sat/ah
matt

I'm everyone's friend.

Gassho, Jundo
stlah

[Bion]

So would you consider Jundo to be your friend? Is he friends with everyone? If yes, then it negates the definition. If no then what are the criteria?

_/\_
sat/ah
matt

He is my teacher, first and foremost, my abbot and I believe that we are also friendly, yes, thanks to years of closely working together, practicing together, talking very often and having shared experiences etc. I can say the same about others in the sangha too. I think it's normal for some relationships to grow and evolve, depending on various factors. Also, the dynamic can not be the same between practitioners or with the abbot or one's teacher. I actually like the master - disciple terms, cause they better reveal the seriousness of the relationship.
What I meant by my comment was that the cold, distant, "I'm not here to be your friend", approach is not how I want to engage with my sangha, as a monk that wants to help and assist.

Gassho
sat lah

[Matt Johnson]

He is my teacher, first and foremost, my abbot and I believe that we are also friendly, yes, thanks to years of closely working together, practicing together, talking very often and having shared experiences etc. I can say the same about others in the sangha too. I think it's normal for some relationships to grow and evolve, depending on various factors. Also, the dynamic can not be the same between practitioners or with the abbot.
What I meant by my comment was that the cold, distant, "I'm not here to be your friend", approach is not how I want to engage with my sangha, as a monk that wants to help and assist.

Gassho
sat lah

Funny because I interpreted Ryushin's comment as "we are much much more than friends".... In my experience too often what passes for friendship these days is a saccharine dishonesty a "masking" which can be more harmful than helpful and often doesn't last past being face to face with a person and which is also not borne out by the actual thoughts of the person.

_/\_
sat/ah
matt

[Bion]

Funny because I interpreted Ryushin's comment as "we are much much more than friends".... In my experience too often what passes for friendship these days is a saccharine dishonesty a "masking" which can be more harmful than helpful and often doesn't last past being face to face with a person and which is also not borne out by the actual thoughts of the person.

_/\_
sat/ah
matt

I figure we all have different dispositions and characters. Friendship, I believe, takes many forms and has various degrees of intimacy. The Buddha said to Ananda that having good friends is the whole of the holy life. So, the most I can do is try to be a good friend to others and meet everyone where they are. Whatever grows out of that I cannot foresee or control nor do I expect the same in return.

Gassho
sat lah

[Jundo]

I am Abbot. Bion is Costello ...

Note: In body shape, I look more like Costello, and Bion like Abbott.

Gassho, J
stlah

[Jundo]

By the way, I will mention one cultural tendency in Japan that is one of the strengths of this country, truly part of the glue that holds it together.

So, when I am back in America, there will be lots of folks who throw an arm around someone, say "we are best friends for life" or "love you guy" or "we are blood brothers" and the like ... with big talk and big gestures. Some mean it, truly and profoundly, but most do not, and it is all words.

Here is Japan, I have a bunch of folks, friends and family, who are of few words, very modest in their words (e.g., to say "I love you" or "we are best friends" is rare here), and would be shocked to be hugged (man or woman). But I know for a fact that some of those folks might jump in front of a bullet for me (if they had guns here, that is.) My Japanese father-in-law once told me that many Japanese families and group are not about what one says, but about being together ... and being together for the long term ... and through ups and downs. That bonds the group more than words.

So, after so many years at Treeleaf, I truly feel like I am everyone's friend, and some of the folks in this Sangha I might jump in front of a bullet for. Really.

Gassho, J
stlah