Hey everybody. I made a realization during meditation that I found interesting and worth pondering over. To get there, though, we need a brief history for my experiences with meditation and Buddhism.
What got me into Buddhism initially was a meditation class I took in college. I was always curious about it as a practice and it was that or PE, so it felt like a no brainer. I was taught to do breathing meditation and was taught about the Buddha's story of finding enlightenment (albeit very briefly). It was incredible and it confirmed things that I was already discovering on my own. Namely, as I suffer from an anxiety disorder and OCD, I found that not focusing too much on how much time I have for any given thing or just generally being more mindful and aware made me feel much better. It helped me to deal with the issues I struggle with.
I guess somewhere I got confused about whether it is good to feel these ways due to meditation. I stopped doing breathing meditation perhaps a year and a half ago, and instead I've been doing shikantaza. It has its merits, for sure, and I do think it's good to do for the dissolution of ego and general awareness, but I found it wasn't relaxing me quite as well as breathing meditation had. I tried breathing meditation again last night and, sure enough, I felt that wonderful, relaxed, peaceful feeling again, almost like a "high" for lack of a better word. But I also know that a lot of people say we shouldn't meditate with any purpose in mind, that we should meditate just to meditate. So I wanted to know if it's generally okay to meditate with both styles, at different times. I want to continue shikantaza, but sometimes I do want the deep relaxation that comes from a nice session of breathing meditation. It helps me to manage my symptoms and allows me to remain mindful rather easily for about an hour or so after.
However, like all things, this is impermanent and those feelings do go away. I get that. But I wanted to know what everybody here thinks, do any of you also participate in breathing meditation? Does shikantaza make you feel that deeply relaxed feeling? I always feel like I may be doing shikantaza wrong, just because my brain gets so lost in long strings of thought before I can pull myself out of it. And maybe I just need more practice.
But what does everybody here think?
What got me into Buddhism initially was a meditation class I took in college. I was always curious about it as a practice and it was that or PE, so it felt like a no brainer. I was taught to do breathing meditation and was taught about the Buddha's story of finding enlightenment (albeit very briefly). It was incredible and it confirmed things that I was already discovering on my own. Namely, as I suffer from an anxiety disorder and OCD, I found that not focusing too much on how much time I have for any given thing or just generally being more mindful and aware made me feel much better. It helped me to deal with the issues I struggle with.
I guess somewhere I got confused about whether it is good to feel these ways due to meditation. I stopped doing breathing meditation perhaps a year and a half ago, and instead I've been doing shikantaza. It has its merits, for sure, and I do think it's good to do for the dissolution of ego and general awareness, but I found it wasn't relaxing me quite as well as breathing meditation had. I tried breathing meditation again last night and, sure enough, I felt that wonderful, relaxed, peaceful feeling again, almost like a "high" for lack of a better word. But I also know that a lot of people say we shouldn't meditate with any purpose in mind, that we should meditate just to meditate. So I wanted to know if it's generally okay to meditate with both styles, at different times. I want to continue shikantaza, but sometimes I do want the deep relaxation that comes from a nice session of breathing meditation. It helps me to manage my symptoms and allows me to remain mindful rather easily for about an hour or so after.
However, like all things, this is impermanent and those feelings do go away. I get that. But I wanted to know what everybody here thinks, do any of you also participate in breathing meditation? Does shikantaza make you feel that deeply relaxed feeling? I always feel like I may be doing shikantaza wrong, just because my brain gets so lost in long strings of thought before I can pull myself out of it. And maybe I just need more practice.
But what does everybody here think?
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