Buddha-Basics (Part VI) — Speaking Right

[jmiller]

Thank you for the teaching Jundo.

Gassho,
John Miller
SatToday

[Budo-Dan]

Thank you for this lesson.
Gassho
Dan
sat2day

[Teiro]

Thank you, Jundo, for this.
As I teacher I know only too well how much harm you can do with rash words - and how much good when you speak kindly.

Gassho
Teiro

Sat/Lah

[Bokugan]

How to say? Maybe we "get and make better" even as, simultaneously, we also learn freedom from all need to "get and make better". Both at once, as one. A "cake-no-cake and non-eating it too" Practice!

Thank you for this, Jundo. What a great way to think of the practice!

Gassho,

Ryan
Sat Today

[BriJolieG]

Gassho,

I appreciate this teaching.

Brianna
Sat Today

[Aucoinj]

Gassho:

I also appreciate this teaching. Sometimes it's so easy let our mouth speak before we have engaged our mind.

Sat today
Jen

[Ekai]

I have been rewatching these and it's good to review these teachings. Jundo, I love your comment on when you always tell you wife her hair looks good to keep peace lol! Very important to keep the wife happy! So funny but real lol.

Gassho,
Ekai

SAT

[sreed]

Sara
STLah

[Luke108]

Thank you, Jundo.

Sat Today

[Steve Rossiter]

Thank you Jundo. Gassho

[ZenJay]

Thank you Jundo for this series, as well as for all the beginner videos! I am finding them extremely helpful and absolutely wonderful! Just wanted to express my gratitude for you, for the Dharma, and for your videos! 😊

Gassho,
Jason

[Alyosha]

I am inspired to write to this for two reasons.

One I am sure Jundo would like to know that someone actually is watching these. Thank you so much for posting these wonderful lessons.

Second, I wish to humbly offer my observations on correcting children as the father of three. It is of course appropriate to correct children, however Yelling and Screaming at them is not. It is possible that discipline itself be calm quiet and loving. When children are misbehaving then this is a great opportunity for teaching. Why do you want them to do or not do something? Sometimes your children are just being kids and driving you crazy. Maybe YOU are the one who needs time out If you are calm, but often critical and demeaning then this can be just as harmful. Indeed having children is a great vehicle for constant practice!

What I really want to speak to here is balance. If you are only talking to your kids when you need to correct them, then this isn't balanced. I have found that complimenting them when they are doing something RIGHT is just as important. Acknowledging their good behavior, showing your appreciation for what they are doing well, praising them for being GOOD works wonders!!! And by the way this works even better if you and your significant other provide an example by doing this with each other.
I had my 8 year old son say to me recently "Dad, thanks for working so hard for us." Wow!

Great insight, very well said. This has been my greatest challenge and only really became apparent after returning to practice. I have a background in military and law enforcement and it's a challenge to soften my tone and get over the expectations of immediate obedience. The way I sound and act is usually at odds with how I feel, but it's like I'm stuck on the tracks in a single direction. Every day is an exercise in letting go of those attachments, harmful formations. I've spent many evenings, after everyone is asleep, replaying my day and thinking, "Tomorrow, I'll do better.."

Indeed, these situations are a great reminder that practice isn't limited to the zafu.

st/lah