Zen Practice with Physical Illness or Disability

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  • Kokuu
    Treeleaf Priest
    • Nov 2012
    • 6841

    Why? Well, my life has changed drastically in the last few months, as my husband developed a very severe expression of ME/CFS or long COVID.
    Sorry to hear that, Kailyn. As Koriki says, there are a few of us here with that condition (and also many others with Fibromyalgia and similar) and know how tough that can be. My own presentation is severe and continues to decline. I used to moderate a very good group on Fb for people with severe ME and Long Covid and will message you the link in case you might get something out of that.

    If it is useful, I wrote some basic material on practicing Zen with chronic illness, although need to update this to include practicing with all of life: https://andykokuumclellan.wordpress....ss-disability/

    You may well also know of it but Toni Bernhard's book 'How to be Sick' is a great 'Buddhist inspired' guide to living with illness from someone who also has ME/CFS

    Wishing both you and Josh well, and I hope he will be able to join us as he can.

    Gassho
    Kokuu
    -sattoday/lah-

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    • Gooey
      Member
      • Nov 2023
      • 27

      Thank you Kailyn for sharing this. I also have ME/CFS, alongside some other chronic illnesses. I had started sitting twice a day most days, with hands in cosmic mudra as per tradition. I felt some grief recently when I realised that sitting twice a day was causing ME/CFS flare-ups for me, and the cosmic mudra was exacerbating the nerve pain in my hands, so I have made some adjustments to my practice (sitting once a day for a slightly shorter period, palms resting on my lap. Some days I can still sit twice and join the Euros/Kiwis scheduled sit).

      While these little griefs around things I can't do are familiar to me after many years of illness, I am also learning a lot about non-attachment. Over and over, my body teaches me that I have to let go of attachment to being able to do certain things, and I'm grateful to have such a dedicated teacher even when it is hard. It turns out I'm really resistant to learning this and need lots of reminding! Koriki, what you said about Zen practice and study fitting well with this illness resonates with me a lot. While I would never wish ME/CFS or other chronic illness on anyone, I feel lucky to be part of this community with so many who share this experience.

      Gassho
      Gooey (sat/LAH)
      they/them

      Comment

      • Ankai
        Treeleaf Unsui
        • Nov 2007
        • 995

        Hi!
        Are there any ways in which we might be able to make specific suggestions for your practice?
        For me, part of it was finding the right thing to sit on, and a position that works with tremors and whatnot .. any way we can help make this work is great! The important thing is being able to practice zazen in a way that you're able.

        Sat today!
        LAH
        Gassho!
        護道 安海


        -Godo Ankai

        I'm still just starting to learn. I'm not a teacher. Please don't take anything I say too seriously. I already take myself too seriously!

        Comment

        • Seiko
          Treeleaf Unsui
          • Jul 2020
          • 1012

          Originally posted by kailyn
          Hi everyone! I tried to follow the three sentence guideline (because I want to,) but it went slightly longer.

          I was looking for a thread in which to pop in and formally say hello, and... this one fits!

          Why? Well, my life has changed drastically in the last few months, as my husband developed a very severe expression of ME/CFS or long COVID.

          In mid December, I was actively grieving my inability to attend our local Zen center in person as much as I longed to, and while crying and reading Tricycle simultaneously, (definitely a mood,) I found the ad for the Monastery of Open Doors.

          It meant so much to me. And I've deeply appreciated the zazenkais, tea sessions and evening sits I've attended since. Thank you so much for being a truly accessible zen center. So much of zen can be practiced in the depths of illness, or the constant samu of caretaking, but of the three treasures, I think sangha can be the most easily lost when you're affected by chronic, debilitating illness, and living with disability.

          Josh sends his gratitude too, but his illness is so severe right now that Zoom audio causes him to crash. We desperately hope we can coax his body back to where it was a few months ago, and that he can attend as well.

          Gassho, SAT/LAH

          Kailyn
          Hi Kailyn,
          I live with ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia, and a few other issues too.
          Humans, we adapt. We are good at it.

          I am here - please feel invited to reach out if you or Josh need a chat. Of course I am just a novice priest, so I will not try to give you advice.

          Gasshō
          Seiko
          Stlah
          Gandō Seiko
          頑道清光
          (Stubborn Way of Pure Light)

          My street name is 'Al'.

          Any words I write here are merely the thoughts of an apprentice priest, just my opinions, that's all.

          Comment

          • Shinkon
            Member
            • Jan 2024
            • 17

            Hello Everyone,
            I think I found the right thread.
            I live and practice with and alongside Multiple Sclerosis, Depression, and ADD (plus the flotsam and jetsam that come with these conditions).
            I am glad to have found Treeleaf and people to share our challenges of practices with.
            May everyone find tranquility and peace in their day.
            Gassho,
            Shinkon
            stlah

            Comment

            • Ankai
              Treeleaf Unsui
              • Nov 2007
              • 995

              Hi, Shinkon.
              Have the conditions you live with presented any challenges to your ability to practice that we might offer some help with... OR... have you, maybe found some "work-arounds" you could share that might be helpful to others?
              Gassho!
              護道 安海


              -Godo Ankai

              I'm still just starting to learn. I'm not a teacher. Please don't take anything I say too seriously. I already take myself too seriously!

              Comment

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