With the blessings of Jundo, I'd like to offer you my lyrical translations of Master Dōgen, for your pleasure and critique. 
Some disclaimers, since these are sensitive things to handle. I've been a translator for some 20 years, working with Pāli-to-Turkish translations on Sutta Central for the last three years, and Chinese to English these last two years with the guidance of Charles Patton, on Dharma Pearls/SuttaCentral again.
It's an interest of mine to make religious poetry translations as elegant as possible, rhyming and metric. Some might consider it frivolous, but I think it's an important point to have more lyrical translations side-by-side with more scholarly translations. To show that ethical discourses can be uplifting in form, beautiful on their own right, inspirational...
That brings us to my work with Master Dōgen's poetry, as a Dharma practice.
I work mainly with Dr. Steven Heine's most brilliant "Wisdom Within Words" as a basis of my translations. I then take a note of the idioms and expressions through various tools, like Charles Muller's DDB, Soothill-Hodous, Hirakawa (along with some contemporary Chinese / Japanese dictionaries), depending on the difficulty of the passage. I also run it through AI to help identify idioms that might be lost, and if AI brings up an interesting point, I heed it only if I can verify that somewhere else, in Taisho or some such, to not get lost in hallucinations...
Then of course, to meet a meter and rhyme, I have to get creative with some expressions sometimes... To what extent I'm able to meet the spirit of Master Dōgen, is the entirety of this negotiation.
All in all, it usually takes me at least a week (often more) to wrap up a poem, and often I revisit to just nudge a sentence a bit again. Again, as a Dharma practice in patience and diligence, this slow pace works well for me.
I will also post Dr. Heine's translations next to mine, as to offer you a comparison. Usually I just shift the words and exposition a little to fit meter / rhyme. In certain cases, he seems to explain the Chinese / Chan idioms in plain words rather than keeping them intact. In these cases, I often prefer keeping the imagery intact. Finally, when I do have a slightly different reading at times. I'll note why I prefer my reading in these cases.
It should be noted that I am still very much the amateur, and Dr. Heine is, well, the expert here. So, my divergences should be treated as humble questions, rather than firm declarations...
Also, I'll provide a bare-bones, very rough character-by-character glossary, for the curious... Although, some compound words can stretch the meaning of the singular characters, I still hope they'll provide some insight into the 'shape' of the poems in their Sinitic forms...
I hope these translations will prove inspirational for your practice, and know that I'll be very happy to hear your critiques in any case...
With love, in gassho, sat/lah
Simsapa
Some disclaimers, since these are sensitive things to handle.
I've been a translator for some 20 years, working with Pāli-to-Turkish translations on Sutta Central for the last three years, and Chinese to English these last two years with the guidance of Charles Patton, on Dharma Pearls/SuttaCentral again.It's an interest of mine to make religious poetry translations as elegant as possible, rhyming and metric. Some might consider it frivolous, but I think it's an important point to have more lyrical translations side-by-side with more scholarly translations. To show that ethical discourses can be uplifting in form, beautiful on their own right, inspirational...
That brings us to my work with Master Dōgen's poetry, as a Dharma practice.
I work mainly with Dr. Steven Heine's most brilliant "Wisdom Within Words" as a basis of my translations. I then take a note of the idioms and expressions through various tools, like Charles Muller's DDB, Soothill-Hodous, Hirakawa (along with some contemporary Chinese / Japanese dictionaries), depending on the difficulty of the passage. I also run it through AI to help identify idioms that might be lost, and if AI brings up an interesting point, I heed it only if I can verify that somewhere else, in Taisho or some such, to not get lost in hallucinations...
Then of course, to meet a meter and rhyme, I have to get creative with some expressions sometimes... To what extent I'm able to meet the spirit of Master Dōgen, is the entirety of this negotiation.
All in all, it usually takes me at least a week (often more) to wrap up a poem, and often I revisit to just nudge a sentence a bit again. Again, as a Dharma practice in patience and diligence, this slow pace works well for me.
I will also post Dr. Heine's translations next to mine, as to offer you a comparison. Usually I just shift the words and exposition a little to fit meter / rhyme. In certain cases, he seems to explain the Chinese / Chan idioms in plain words rather than keeping them intact. In these cases, I often prefer keeping the imagery intact. Finally, when I do have a slightly different reading at times. I'll note why I prefer my reading in these cases.
It should be noted that I am still very much the amateur, and Dr. Heine is, well, the expert here.
So, my divergences should be treated as humble questions, rather than firm declarations...Also, I'll provide a bare-bones, very rough character-by-character glossary, for the curious... Although, some compound words can stretch the meaning of the singular characters, I still hope they'll provide some insight into the 'shape' of the poems in their Sinitic forms...
I hope these translations will prove inspirational for your practice, and know that I'll be very happy to hear your critiques in any case...
With love, in gassho, sat/lah
Simsapa
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