[HealthDharma] Turning Suffering Inside Out, chapter ten, part two

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  • Kokuu
    Dharma Transmitted Priest
    • Nov 2012
    • 6848

    [HealthDharma] Turning Suffering Inside Out, chapter ten, part two

    This week’s reading is pages 174-82 (from the beginning of the chapter ‘Paying Attention’ to BASIC AWARENESS).

    Darlene continues this section talking about hindrances we may experience that get in the way of paying attention.

    Critical Mind
    Darlene talks about how our minds are prone to make judgements. She points out that we should not try to rid ourselves of these judgements, which are a natural part of being human, but instead allow them to come and go. She also notes that many of our judgements are a replaying of events from our childhood or earlier life by people who were critical of us.
    When asked by her teacher to avoid judgement, Darlene became aware of just how much her mind judges and this, to me, is the purpose of many of the teachings – not to stop us thinking certain thoughts, which are often outside of our control, but to see how much we do it and become aware of our mind that picks and chooses, makes judgements and wants things to be different than they are.

    Sleepiness
    Darlene notes how meditation and relaxation are not so different, so it can be usual for our bodies to go into a restful state when we start to wind down during meditation. She offers remedies for dealing with that. I would also note that if we find that we are sleepy at the time we usually do meditation, it can be good to see if other times work better in terms of our wakefulness, if that is possible. For some people, work and family schedules mean either getting up early or sitting after children are in bed which can limit times of practice to when we are naturally sleepy.

    Compulsive Mind, Restlessness
    Darlene describes this as ‘pacing tiger syndrome’ and I imagine we can all recognise that from periods of zazen in which just sitting still feels like the opposite of what we want to be doing. For those of us with ADHD it can be prominent a lot of the time. Her antidote is to become intensely curious of what the sensations of restlessness feel like and explore them with attention.
    She notes that we can allow all of our restless thoughts (which I often refer to as the vortex of my mind, especially first thing in the morning) both on and off the cushion and notice how much we spin out like this, predicting and analysing, making lists and being impatient about what we want or need to do. By watching these states we can see how transitory they are.
    Darlene reports how during stressful times in her life she set aside ‘worry times’ in which her mind was free to indulge in all of the thinking and analysing it wanted to do, and she said it was helpful knowing that she could often set aside her worries for later when that period would happen.

    Doubting Mind
    Darlene describes a friend she knew who doubted her decisions about everything from her choice of clothing to her relationships, and also notes that her husband is similarly distrustful and doubting of many things. She points out that doubts only have power if we choose to buy into them and also suggests that doubting mind can also be powerful when used well to undercut conventional wisdom and ways of thinking about things that are habitual rather than skillful.


    Darlene notes that each of these states of mind tends to be short-lived and they can morph into each other. Through practice we can note that we shift from one state of mind to another and none will last.

    She suggests that we pick one hindrance to examine throughout the week both during your sitting practice and everyday life and to stay with it and see what happens.


    Question prompts

    1. Would you say you have one particular hindrance that occurs more frequently than others? (you can include Desire from last week as well as those described above)

    2. If you wish, undertake the exercise that Darlene suggests above in picking one state of mind to be attentive to in sitting practice and throughout the week.


    Wishing you all a healthful week. Thank you all for your continued engagement with this, and I am sorry I haven't had the time to respond to everything, although I try to read it all.

    Gassho
    Kokuu
    -sattoday/lah-
  • Alina
    Member
    • Jul 2023
    • 181

    #2
    1. Would you say you have one particular hindrance that occurs more frequently than others?
    Critical Mind and Restlessness are big ones for me. Critical mind has 2 flavors for me, "victim-mind" or "controller-mind", ones criticizes and blames everyone else and the other is so overwhelmed by the uncertainties of life and dealing with difficult people that it tries to stay afloat by being negative. Yay, the vortex of my mind! (thank you Kokuu for that expression, it's a great way to describe it).

    Thank you Matt for that Alabama quote, I relate to it a lot. When my Restlessness speeds me up, I try to do everything at 80% of the speed it is trying to push me into, and that helps me to slow down a bit. And in a couple of occasions I sort of gave it a hug, as if saying "I'm here for you", and that helped. But then the next day the vortex is up and running again, with whatever flavor the day brings.

    2. If you wish, undertake the exercise that Darlene suggests above in picking one state of mind to be attentive to in sitting practice and throughout the week.
    I will give this a try, wish me luck!


    Gassho
    Alina
    stlah

    Comment

    • Kokuu
      Dharma Transmitted Priest
      • Nov 2012
      • 6848

      #3
      think it is/was largely relating to my trauma at age 2.5. And although I have no memory of it, I think that I spent a long time running and rushing because if I stopped, the pain would catch up to me. Needless to say, zazen was probably the last thing I wanted to do when I started. Somewhere deep inside I knew that there was a world of hurt waiting to bubble up. But something also deep inside of me knew that nobody could help me except for me (and I'm pretty sure I had help for which I am very grateful). And somehow I knew that the only solution was sitting through it. I'm very glad I did.
      I once saw a book titled 'Too Tired to Keep Running, Too Scared to Stop'. I never read the book but that title struck me as something that many of us have felt. As you note, Matt, stopping and sitting is the right thing to do but it can take time to realise that and have the courage just to stop and face what we have been running from.

      Gassho
      Kokuu

      Comment

      • Kokuu
        Dharma Transmitted Priest
        • Nov 2012
        • 6848

        #4
        Critical Mind and Restlessness are big ones for me. Critical mind has 2 flavors for me, "victim-mind" or "controller-mind", ones criticizes and blames everyone else and the other is so overwhelmed by the uncertainties of life and dealing with difficult people that it tries to stay afloat by being negative.
        Thank you for sharing that, Alina, and it points to the awareness of you have of how your mind works. We all have our 'favourite' or default hindrances and it is interesting to see those. There definitely seems to be a sense of control in both victim and controller mind, and it can be hard just to surrender to a state of 'not knowing' or not being in control. Restlessness too, keeps us from stopping long enough to see what is actually going on, and that is a big one for me also.

        Gassho
        Kokuu

        Comment

        • Tairin
          Member
          • Feb 2016
          • 2829

          #5
          Thank you Kokuu. I finished reading the book quite a while ago so now I have been needing to refresh myself on the chapters

          1. Would you say you have one particular hindrance that occurs more frequently than others? (you can include Desire from last week as well as those described above)

          I assume you mean in relation to sitting ….. in that case my biggest hindrance is my wandering mind. I can be quite focused on specifically tasks but I have a very active imagination that I can easily get lost in. My Zazen is a continuous round of pulling me back to reality.

          2. If you wish, undertake the exercise that Darlene suggests above in picking one state of mind to be attentive to in sitting practice and throughout the week.

          I’ve definitely sat with this and tried to be aware of the triggers that pull me away from sitting and into my imaginations. It is definitely an active process because so many things might trigger it. Even just listening to the song birds while I sit and away I go…..


          Tairin
          Sat today and lah
          泰林 - Tai Rin - Peaceful Woods

          Comment

          • Kaitan
            Member
            • Mar 2023
            • 547

            #6
            This one was very relatable, especially since this week I noticed how restless I am during zazen. I will keep working with that and observe the compulsive puppy-mind, as she says

            1. Would you say you have one particular hindrance that occurs more frequently than others? (you can include Desire from last week as well as those described above)

            I'm inclined for the restless, but it is highly related to doubting mind.

            2. If you wish, undertake the exercise that Darlene suggests above in picking one state of mind to be attentive to in sitting practice and throughout the week.

            Yes, I will keep up with the exercise

            Gasshō

            stlah, Kaitan

            Kaitan - 界探 - Realm searcher

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