Chronic stuff..

[Ankai]

Dealing with what is now "Long covid" presents certain challenges. Vor example, putting our focus on our breath is something we're taught from the get-go... But, what if my breathing is more of a labored wheeze? What if the accordion-like sounds coming from me are, themselves, a distraction? For me, thinking so much about breathing has been weirdly helpful... Most of the time when I sit, my breath is literally all I can focus on. It eventually drifts away, but it's always sort of there. The one thing I can do is what Jundo always says... "We sit with what is." So for the moment, I simply sit with the sound of a broken fireplace bellows, and accept that that is my reality right here, right now. Just like I have to do if my hands tremor or if my legs aren't being cooperative.
I don't mean that to sound glib; some of us have to deal with chronic, long-term or permanent issues in our sitting and in our practice. I was just curious about others who might be dealing with their own long-term issues. Do you have to make any adjustments in your practice? Encountering any difficulties that others might be able to offer suggestions for? Thought of something that works for you that you might be able to share? Just want to get something off your mind?
I'm not suggesting I have answers. I'm not a teacher. I just thought it might be a worthwhile conversation.
Sat Today
Lent a hand

Ankai

[Kojitsu]

Hi Ankai,
I have a number of issues that actually impact zazen, but that is probably a good thing I guess since it makes practice all the more valuable. I have had to be hospitalized twice this year for chronic pneumonia, which of course impacts your breathing. The doctors gave me an incentive spirometer to help with lung capacity and it has been a huge help. I strongly suggest picking up one if you have lung issues, it helps a ton. I also have been dealing with back pain lately, lumbar support helps but if everything else fails, just make sure you are very awake and do your zazen laying down if that is the only way you can put up with the pain. I have had to alternate between sitting and laying down, particularly in long sessions where my back just gives up on me eventually. But at least I am comfortable and able to concentrate while laying down eases the pain.

Gassho_/\_
stlah
Brett

[Kokuu]

Thank you for your post, Ankai. It definitely is the case that I have had to make modifications to my practice and my own chronic condition is, absent of treatment (which can be hard to find), gradually deteriorating over time. As of now, I can only sit on the cushion for around ten minutes so mostly choose to recline when I 'sit'. Walking kinhin is hard. I have a great deal of pain also which is hard to sit with. Sometime I can just allow that to be, sometimes it is too much.

I find that somatic practices are helpful in relating to my body and what is going on with it and those can be done for as short or long a time as desired.


Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday/lah-