Please excuse me running long. (Will they put that on my gravestone?)
I am always happy to chat to anyone who is practicing with health issues - not to try to teach you anything, as I am just an inexperienced novice, but to share and perhaps help each other find our own adaptations and solutions.
I live with Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS and a compromised immune response. Oh, and I nearly forgot - a visual impairment. I won't list my other health issues right now.
Just over four weeks ago I started with a sore throat, then a cough, then blocked nose. All typical of a minor cold. My wife was over it in 7 days, but for me, it's lingering on. That's nothing new, in fact it's quite normal. We folks with auto-immune illnesses get used to this. So with good intentions, I planned to continue work and study and practice - whilst waiting for this bug to leave.
But life often has a little surprise for me. This time it was hallucinations and 'Fever Dreams' brought about by my high body temperature. I have never experienced this before. The visions and dreams were compelling, yet they were also illogical and ridiculous. So whilst my overheated brain imagined these pictures and stories, another part of my brain seemed to remain conscious enough to kick in from time-to-time, to bring me back to earth - telling me that it wasn't real, just dreams.
To practice zazen through this turned out to be quite a challenge. I often read the blog of Shōnin Risa Bear, she writes so beautifully, and I recall her saying something like: "some days zazen is just lying on my back staring at the ceiling" - I may be paraphrasing but that's the gist.
So while coping quite well with my "serious" conditions, it was the common cold that knocked me for six. I didn't see it coming. I'll need to pay more attention in the future.
I like to tell myself that everything is fine, and I'll soldier on - maybe you do this too? But if I stop and take a breath, I know that approach doesn't always work, and just adapting a few elements of life/work/practice can help me get through much better. After all, humans are pretty good at adapting - when we put aside our (my) pride, upbringing, societal expectations, etc.
Happily the hallucinations and dreams have receded, and my voice has returned. The fever and cough are still with me though, and a few bruises from a fall a couple of days ago, when I had one of my regular dizzy spells. The other thing that stayed with me, is (another) lesson in being kinder to myself, not expecting my 63 year old sick body to operate like a 20 year old athlete, and not being afraid (or too proud) to adapt zazen practice to suit the body I'm in. Some days that may be lying on my back staring at the ceiling, other days it may be zazen on a chair, or a zafu. I just need to go with the flow.
Gasshō
Hot Seiko
Stlah
I am always happy to chat to anyone who is practicing with health issues - not to try to teach you anything, as I am just an inexperienced novice, but to share and perhaps help each other find our own adaptations and solutions.
I live with Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS and a compromised immune response. Oh, and I nearly forgot - a visual impairment. I won't list my other health issues right now.
Just over four weeks ago I started with a sore throat, then a cough, then blocked nose. All typical of a minor cold. My wife was over it in 7 days, but for me, it's lingering on. That's nothing new, in fact it's quite normal. We folks with auto-immune illnesses get used to this. So with good intentions, I planned to continue work and study and practice - whilst waiting for this bug to leave.
But life often has a little surprise for me. This time it was hallucinations and 'Fever Dreams' brought about by my high body temperature. I have never experienced this before. The visions and dreams were compelling, yet they were also illogical and ridiculous. So whilst my overheated brain imagined these pictures and stories, another part of my brain seemed to remain conscious enough to kick in from time-to-time, to bring me back to earth - telling me that it wasn't real, just dreams.
To practice zazen through this turned out to be quite a challenge. I often read the blog of Shōnin Risa Bear, she writes so beautifully, and I recall her saying something like: "some days zazen is just lying on my back staring at the ceiling" - I may be paraphrasing but that's the gist.
So while coping quite well with my "serious" conditions, it was the common cold that knocked me for six. I didn't see it coming. I'll need to pay more attention in the future.
I like to tell myself that everything is fine, and I'll soldier on - maybe you do this too? But if I stop and take a breath, I know that approach doesn't always work, and just adapting a few elements of life/work/practice can help me get through much better. After all, humans are pretty good at adapting - when we put aside our (my) pride, upbringing, societal expectations, etc.
Happily the hallucinations and dreams have receded, and my voice has returned. The fever and cough are still with me though, and a few bruises from a fall a couple of days ago, when I had one of my regular dizzy spells. The other thing that stayed with me, is (another) lesson in being kinder to myself, not expecting my 63 year old sick body to operate like a 20 year old athlete, and not being afraid (or too proud) to adapt zazen practice to suit the body I'm in. Some days that may be lying on my back staring at the ceiling, other days it may be zazen on a chair, or a zafu. I just need to go with the flow.
Gasshō
Hot Seiko
Stlah
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