[HealthDharma] It ain't permanent...

[Ankai]

A lot of times when we think of health and ailments regarding practice, we are thinking in big broad strokes. Debilitating diseases, degenerative conditions, lifelong difficulties... But the thing is, no matter what condition we are in health-wise, sometimes, we get sick.
Not, "Oh, this affects the rest of my life!" sick, just... You know... SICK sick.
I've gone through a run of pretty bad luck lately. Within the last month, I've had the flu, followed immediately by a really bad cold,and now I've got covid,, for the fourth time, whichever twisted evil strain of it we happen to be on now.
That's a long time to be sick, and I have to admit that this particular variant of covid is extra nasty. At this point I've had it so many times I feel like I'm a connoisseur...
The thing is, we practice with what is. Someone once said "You go to war with the Army you have, not the one you wish you had." At the time it made me really angry because of the context of setting, but it seems to apply a little better here. I have a lot of serious health conditions and right now I happen to be sick as hell. I can go ahead and wish it was different, or I can go on with my practice sitting with the way things are, and being in the present moment.
So, there's no way I'm going down to my meditation room today. I'm not putting on the robes. Won't be any bells or incense. I'm going to... just sit. Maybe even lay. Right here, in this bed, in this reality, with what is.
I'd like to feel better. But, this is how I DO feel now. So... Whether we are in a long-term, I'm going medical condition, or just wake up one morning feeling like hammered crap, we can sit with it. Maybe we'll feel better tomorrow.
I don't offer that as any kind of a teaching or instruction.
Just a little bit of encouragement, commiseration (and maybe a needed nudge,) for those of us who, for whatever reason, just woke up feeling lousy today.


ST
LAH
20240217_111201.jpg

[Do Mi]

This is inspiring to me right in this moment, just feeling very very tired for unspecified reasons. I can just be with it. During Rohatsu, when I was feeling various aches and pains, I had a moment during kinhin when I thought, "this body is perfect, just the way it is." Not in spite of the aches and pains, including them.

Thank you, Ankai!

In gassho,

Do Mi
sat and lah

[Alina]

A lot of times when we think of health and ailments regarding practice, we are thinking in big broad strokes. Debilitating diseases, degenerative conditions, lifelong difficulties... But the thing is, no matter what condition we are in health-wise, sometimes, we get sick.
Not, "Oh, this affects the rest of my life!" sick, just... You know... SICK sick.
I've gone through a run of pretty bad luck lately. Within the last month, I've had the flu, followed immediately by a really bad cold,and now I've got covid,, for the fourth time, whichever twisted evil strain of it we happen to be on now.
That's a long time to be sick, and I have to admit that this particular variant of covid is extra nasty. At this point I've had it so many times I feel like I'm a connoisseur...
The thing is, we practice with what is. Someone once said "You go to war with the Army you have, not the one you wish you had." At the time it made me really angry because of the context of setting, but it seems to apply a little better here. I have a lot of serious health conditions and right now I happen to be sick as hell. I can go ahead and wish it was different, or I can go on with my practice sitting with the way things are, and being in the present moment.
So, there's no way I'm going down to my meditation room today. I'm not putting on the robes. Won't be any bells or incense. I'm going to... just sit. Maybe even lay. Right here, in this bed, in this reality, with what is.
I'd like to feel better. But, this is how I DO feel now. So... Whether we are in a long-term, I'm going medical condition, or just wake up one morning feeling like hammered crap, we can sit with it. Maybe we'll feel better tomorrow.
I don't offer that as any kind of a teaching or instruction.
Just a little bit of encouragement, commiseration (and maybe a needed nudge,) for those of us who, for whatever reason, just woke up feeling lousy today.


ST
LAH
[ATTACH=CONFIG]9226[/ATTACH]

Thank you Ankai, I hope you feel better soon.



Alina
stlah

[Ankai]

So, I was laid up for two weeks, living and practicing with a particularly nasty bout of COVID.
I read something the other day that stuck with me, and seemed to go well in this thread.
A Chinese Zen master, hermit, wise man and poet named Stonehouse (Shiwu) wrote,
a human life lasts one hundred years
but which of us gets them all
precarious as a hut made of thatch
or a leaking boat in a storm
mediocre monks are pathetic
would-be masters sadder still
the world's empty ways aren't what they were
some days I shut my old door tight
...this really resonated with me. "A human life lasts one hundred years
But which of us gets them all?'
Sure... I could sit around lethargically moping about being sick, or having any of my other health related ailments, but then what am I actually doing? By using my condition as an excuse, what I'm really doing is choosing to participate in the illness rather than in my life. There's absolutely no guarantee that I'm going to get that hundred or so years that he's talking about here. I could get struck down by illness, I could get struck down by a passing truck. I've got no way of knowing. I'm actually glad I don't. If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would probably leave a lot of things undone today.
So, since we don't know who gets the full ride, it's simply makes more sense for me to just go ahead and participate in my own life, as best I can, anyway, to the fullest. If that means I practice with a wicked headache and snot running down my nose, then that's what I do. If it means helping my kids with homework even though it's the last thing in the world I feel like doing right now, it's got to be done. If I feel like I need to just lay in my bed because my whole body hurts, then that's what I do, but I can do it in such a way that I make it into practice, and participation in life rather than a retreat from it.
Jundo always says "we sit with what is."
I would like to feel better, but I don't. So, that's what I'll sit with. I would like to be more financially comfortable, but I'm not, so I'll sit with that. I would like it if the cat didn't decide I was his climbing post when I'm trying to sit, but the cat's going to be all over me anyway, so, I'll sit with that. Just like I'll sit with parkinson's. I'll sit with my heart condition, I'll sit when I'm tired from work, or when I have a headache.
I discover overtime that in my own life,. "Just sit" really doesn't mean establishing the right mood and atmosphere and environment, get all my ducks in a row and make sure I'm in the right headspace, and sit in meditation like the great sages of Old
It actually means ...
...just sit.

I'm not a teacher, a wise man or a mystical hermit poet. I'm just another guy trying to figure things out. I offer this not as any kind of teaching, but simply as an encouragement, because some days... Well, you know.
Sat today.
Gonna sit some more.
LAH

[Doshin]

Doshin
Stlah

[Alina]

If I feel like I need to just lay in my bed because my whole body hurts, then that's what I do, but I can do it in such a way that I make it into practice, and participation in life rather than a retreat from it.

Thank you for these words Ankai.


Gassho

Alina
stlah

[Ankai]

Thank you for these words Ankai

If they were useful, I'm very glad.


ST
LAH

[Do Mi]

Very useful to me too.

Do Mi
satlah

[Tairin]

Wonderful post. Thank you Ankai.


Tairin
Sat today and lah

[Shonin Risa Bear]

Yes. Many here know that when some say sat/lah, we mean that we stared at the ceiling from a lounge chair or even a hospital bed for half an hour, then said something nice to our caretaker or nurse. And that this comes and goes; here at Bird Haven sangha, sometimes the doshi goes to the altar and sometimes the altar comes to the doshi.

The essential function of all buddhas,
the functional essence of all ancestors,
is to know without touching things
and illuminate without encountering objects.
-- Hongzhi

gassho
ds sat/lah

[Alina]

Reading "How to cook your life", by Kosho Uchiyama Roshi, in chapter 11 it says:

"When we thoroughly understand the attitude underlying these remarks made by the tenzo, "Other people are not me", and "If I do not do it now, when else can I do it", that is, when we understand that there is no stability to be found in life other than living it out as it is, we will be able to comprehend the reasoning behind the principle of becoming emancipated from our pain and suffering by just being resolved to living through it as it is."
...
"No matter what happens to us in our lives, there is no real alternative other than to live through it then and there, by ourselves --this is an inescapable reality! I cannot imagine anything more important in our lives than to completely resolve ourselves to the absolute nature of this truth."

Reading that reminded me of your words Ankai:

If I feel like I need to just lay in my bed because my whole body hurts, then that's what I do, but I can do it in such a way that I make it into practice, and participation in life rather than a retreat from it.

so I thought I'd share it here.


Gassho

Alina
stlah