[Engaged] Hurdles: What stops you

[Eva]

Hello everyone,
and thank you for sharing your stories .
1. Share a hurdle. What stops you from doing charity work, giving money, or just a LAH activity.
I know myself being not very consistent at keeping to certain times or certain commitments . So I'd say lack of truly committing to something/someone is my hurdle .

2. Share past stories of engaged work that didn’t go the way you expected. What acts have you tried in the past that didn’t work out?
I remember having similar thoughts not wanting giving money to beggars, since I was n't sure if the money goes for good case. Couple years ago I decided that I'm not the one who has right to judge anyone or anyones decision. The begging itself is a "punishment", why should I add my judgement on top to that? How would that be any way of helpful for that person? No one likes to beg, so that kind of life is already (probably) being judged by themselves . So if I give money I'm very clear that I have no idea or wish or hope as to what happens to that money. From that moment on when it has left my hand, it's not mine anymore. So I don't know if that "works" or "does n't work out" .
So I decided to give what I have - either it's food (I have usually something with me since I can't buy so conveniently from anywhere when I'm hungry), sometimes it's money (sometimes I give all/almost all what I have with me, just to be very clear for myself that I can give something I myself value the most .) , sometimes it's a smile and hello .

3. Share what has worked for you. Is there some charitable act that works well for you, explain why it works well. (Other people might not have thought of that one.)
I don't have any charity works where I'm constantly participating . I don't have any good answers as to why not . I'm sorry .
Now I remember I donated 10% of my income a young (under age) parent who wanted to finish high school. That was one-time project that worked really well .

Gassho,
isattoday and also LAH

[Kyousui]

1. Share a hurdle. What stops you from doing charity work, giving money, or just a LAH activity.

Giving money to folks on the street is hard/ worrisome because I wonder if they are just getting money for drugs. I wonder if it would be different if I took the time to take them to a restaurant or place to stay personally. Have to think on that some more as safety concerns pop into my head.

2. Share past stories of engaged work that didn't go the way you expected. What acts have you tried in the past that didn't work out?
I've tried some teaching for Red Cross that didn't feel very comfortable now, in spite of having memories of enjoying it in years past. It's almost as if the universe is teaching me something about the impermanence of memory and personality.

3. Share what has worked for you. Is there some charitable act that works well for you, explain why it works well. (Other people might not have thought of that one.)

I still really enjoy most of the work I do as a Red Cross volunteer. I get back much more in good feelings of accomplishment that if I'd gotten paid money. Part of it is I do what I do when I want to, or feel led to rather than have a boss tell me I have to.





sat
LAH

[Shinshi]

Thanks for the thread Shoka, and thanks to everyone for sharing their stories

1. Share a hurdle. What stops you from doing charity work, giving money, or just a LAH activity.

Like in other areas I get perfectionist about this. I need to research the charity, make sure that the money will be well spent. I like to try and investigate the ramifications of the charitable acts, because often times what seems like a good idea turns out to have negative consequences. I also have my own rules - one of them is I don't like to just give money, I want to be a participant in the activity if I can. All this "work" slows me down and can get me thinking in circles about the best way to go.

2. Share past stories of engaged work that didn’t go the way you expected. What acts have you tried in the past that didn’t work out?

Well, for Ango I first volunteered for Habitat for Humanity. I think it is a good cause and I felt I could really get in there and literally work for others, and see tangible results from my efforts. But they didn't have any projects going and I ended up just sitting around. I helped out in the store but I could tell they were just making busy work for me.

3. Share what has worked for you. Is there some charitable act that works well for you, explain why it works well. (Other people might not have thought of that one.)

I moved from Habitat for Humanity to a horse rescue facility. This turned out to be a much better experience. I could use my skills to work with horses that were a problem for the center so I felt like I was really contributing, they got help that they needed, and most importantly the horses lives became better. The key thing for me is that I was doing something where I could use my skills, and it was something I felt strongly about. That really helped. I will admit that, at first, I thought I should be doing something more people focused. But, honestly, I think I did more good with the horses than I could in most places trying to help people.

[Tairin]

1. Share a hurdle. What stops you from doing charity work, giving money, or just a LAH activity

The biggest hurdle is me. Anything else I offer here would be an excuse. I find being in new settings or around people I don’t know very uncomfortable (classic introvert) so I tend to avoid those in favour of things that suit me (see below)

2. Share past stories of engaged work that didn’t go the way you expected. What acts have you tried in the past that didn’t work out?

I honestly can not think of anything but I haven’t really tried anything out of the box either. I tend to stick to tried and true

3. Share what has worked for you. Is there some charitable act that works well for you, explain why it works well. (Other people might not have thought of that one.)

I find it much easier to donate my money than my time. We have a charities that we give to regularly. They are on a monthly automatic withdrawal. Easy but I suppose it loses a bit of its presence since it happens somewhat mindlessly. On the other hand I don’t believe those on the receiving end care.

When it comes to donating my time I find engaged acts that involve cleanup or setup or other things that is just physical labour more suited to me than something where I need to engage with people.

One thing I have done in the past is volunteered to help out more around the house (cooking, cleanup etc) so my wife can volunteer outside the home. She is a stay at home mom and is more outgoing than me so it is a bit of a win win. She gets to get out and be with people. I get to help her and make it easier for her so I am indirectly helping others too

[Shoka]

Thank you everyone for your replies. There are some themes that seem to pop out a hurdles for several people.

Thank you to those who shared, I'm sure there are others who are reading along, nodding in agreement and not feel as lone in why it's so hard.

Gassho,

Shoka
sattoday