[Challenging Times] - (8) - Disillusionment - Sosan Theresa Flynn

[Jundo]

Dear All Students of Me, your PERFECT teacher ...

This is the story of a very dedicated student of a Zen teacher who turned out to have some feet of clay. The teacher was involved in a sex scandal at the time when he was forced out of his Sangha, and a separate financial scandal in recent days, after this essay was written.

How should students, not only priests, react when some Zen or other Buddhist teacher turns out to be too human, and to fall down?

I would ask folks to read the following essay by me after reading Sosan's essay. I wrote it at a time when some were attempting to hide such scandals and stifle critics, but also, I also criticize those who sweep too broadly in their criticism, and lump all scandals together.

SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: Sex Scandal Finger Wagging

https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?10071-SIT-A-LONG-with-JUNDO-Sex-Scandal-Finger-Wagging

What are your insights on this?

For those who do not yet have a copy, I have made a PDF version available here for those waiting for their ordered book, or those unable to afford or obtain the book:https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/show...those-who-need

Feel free to jump into the readings and discussion even if you have not read other chapters.

Gassho, Jundo

stlah

[Hōkan]

I was with Sosan this morning for a priest study group and mentioned that we are studying the book she contributed to. She seemed pleased, but also maybe a bit disappointed because you (apparently) had asked her to speak here and she had to refuse. She is the head teacher here at Clouds in Water Zen Center and quite busy. Still, it would have been fun to listen to her talk.

Sat

[Hōkan]

Also, about the sex scandal; our local patriarch, Katagiri Roshi was also involved in a sex scandal but, while devastating to the community, Roshi was dead by that point so we didn't have to be so careful about that. Still, his family was and is still around so there was still some anxiety.

The priest referenced above who was involved in a sex scandal and a financial scandal is still around and, from what I hear, a bit vindictive. Everybody treads carefully.

Sat

[Tokan]

Hello everyone

Yet again we have a deeply heartfelt reflection on both life and practice. It is a difficult thing to accept weakness or a fall from grace in someone we have put on a pedestal. I remember having dinner with a "very ethical" friend some years ago. We were being served by an attractive waitress with a lovely French accent. It was certainly very easy to be a good customer since she was also very kind and efficient. I certainly found her physically attractive, but I turned my attention away from objectifying her. My friend, however, stared and stared, and stared some more. I put this guy on a pedestal and here he was gawping like an idiot (as I thought to myself at the time). I had believed that he was above such conduct, especially as this young woman was probably close to a third of his age. I left the dinner disappointed and dejected. I knew my own weakness, but I had thought my friend's ethical standards to be beyond reproach. Who was left to look up to now? It took me some time to see that I was looking at this all wrong. Sure, it was unethical behaviour, but human, and far from unusual. Was it his fault that I had put him on a pedestal, or that I sought to put anyone on a pedestal in the first place? He hadn't asked me to look up to him in this way, and then I felt almost ashamed of myself, how stupid to believe in shadows! I eventually came to realise that my ethics had little to do with my friends conduct and that my practice, if it was to mean anything, was for me to determine the course of.

Years later, when I was leading a Zen practice group, after several months of living the dream, we began to live the nightmare as personality clashes ensued. I felt that I was in an impossible situation to resolve these problems - as compassion and mediation failed miserably - and so I avoided dealing with it by shutting the group down. When I tried again, the same thing happened. So I understand, in a way, the focus on attempting to maintain the sangha, but I agree that "to what end?" is a relevant question. The how and why, not the what, as Sosan points out, much more important at the end of the day.


Gassho, Tokan (satlah)

[Do Mi]

I have some experience with a similar situation. I was practicing at the Providence Zen Center in 1983-84. My teacher, Seung Sahn, was supposedly a celibate monk. When I found out that he had been having sexual relationships with female students, I felt betrayed--more by the lies than by the actual sex. (If he had been a Japanese zen priest/monk, that part would not have been an issue because the relationships could have happened without secrecy and untruths.) This was on top of quite a few other issues with hierarchy and power, and ways patriarchy was being furthered in the culture. I left PZC and Zen practice.

I also know from experience in that sangha (not with the zen master) that in an environment where hierarchy, the belief that anything a "higher" person does is automatically a bodhisattva action/derived from an enlightened view, is directly and explicitly taught, a "consensual" sexual relationship between a young and vulnerable female student and a much older man in a position of power is sexual abuse of power and has a lifelong, devastating impact. I think that leaders who make this "mistake" need to be called on it.

I spent forty years away from Buddhism, finding my agency and power as a woman and a spiritual traveler before the essence of the dharma pulled me back. I have watched as the Western Buddhist schools have adopted ethical standards and practices and to greater or lesser degrees deliberately moved away from the "teacher-as-infallible-guru" model. I have seen teachers like Jundo (many bows!) and the teacher at my local sangha work attentively to find the balance, tapping their experience and insight to guide us and to structure practice in the sangha, while guarding against the guru trap both inside themselves and in their teachings, and I appreciate this so much!!

I know that as a teenager/young adult in that old practice, I participated in the trap setup. I can sometimes see in myself the fears and desires that drove that (if someone tells me what to do I will know I'm doing the right thing...), and part of my practice now is steady noticing them when they arise, and trusting that the boundless field supports my agency.

I welcome dialogue and insight about all of this. It is tremendously important.

In gassho,

Do Mi
satlah

[Tokan]

I have some experience with a similar situation. I was practicing at the Providence Zen Center in 1983-84. My teacher, Seung Sahn, was supposedly a celibate monk. When I found out that he had been having sexual relationships with female students, I felt betrayed--more by the lies than by the actual sex. (If he had been a Japanese zen priest/monk, that part would not have been an issue because the relationships could have happened without secrecy and untruths.) This was on top of quite a few other issues with hierarchy and power, and ways patriarchy was being furthered in the culture. I left PZC and Zen practice.

I also know from experience in that sangha (not with the zen master) that in an environment where hierarchy, the belief that anything a "higher" person does is automatically a bodhisattva action/derived from an enlightened view, is directly and explicitly taught, a "consensual" sexual relationship between a young and vulnerable female student and a much older man in a position of power is sexual abuse of power and has a lifelong, devastating impact. I think that leaders who make this "mistake" need to be called on it.

I spent forty years away from Buddhism, finding my agency and power as a woman and a spiritual traveler before the essence of the dharma pulled me back. I have watched as the Western Buddhist schools have adopted ethical standards and practices and to greater or lesser degrees deliberately moved away from the "teacher-as-infallible-guru" model. I have seen teachers like Jundo (many bows!) and the teacher at my local sangha work attentively to find the balance, tapping their experience and insight to guide us and to structure practice in the sangha, while guarding against the guru trap both inside themselves and in their teachings, and I appreciate this so much!!

I know that as a teenager/young adult in that old practice, I participated in the trap setup. I can sometimes see in myself the fears and desires that drove that (if someone tells me what to do I will know I'm doing the right thing...), and part of my practice now is steady noticing them when they arise, and trusting that the boundless field supports my agency.

I welcome dialogue and insight about all of this. It is tremendously important.

In gassho,

Do Mi
satlah

Gassho, Tokan

satlah

[Naiko]

This was an interesting essay. I appreciate how Rev. Sosan wove together two threads-healing her personal “crisis of faith” and that of her sangha’s. What seems important to me is the steady commitment to face the issues and work through with patience and a willingness to listen, even though it was very painful. This seems to have been over the course of a year or longer. It must be difficult enough to see where one has ceded spiritual authority to a teacher, or rather an idealized teacher, and even more difficult to shepherd a whole group through it. I am also impressed that it seems they resisted the urge to quickly restore a facade of peace and good feelings at the expense of growth.

There was a sex scandal within the yoga group I practiced with. It happened before I joined and it was some years before I learned of it. The was a wall of icy secrecy and denial about it. That was a dealbreaker for me. Without honesty, what kind of spiritual practice can you have?

Gassho,
Naiko
st lah

[Onkai]

The Clouds in Water Zen Center dealt with its problem amazingly well by having interim teachers and practicing counsel circle discussions. It is important that a group can come together and be able to discuss the deep emotions after a scandal like that. I hope, even trust, that I will never face anything like that. Sosan was wise to find other leaders until she was ready for that role herself. These readings are eye opening.

Gassho,
Onkai
Sat lah

[paulashby]

The only time I have ever walked out on a Buddhist teacher over the last 40
years was when a young Tibetan monk lectured on crazy wisdom and defended
Chogyam Trungpa sexual abuse and misconduct as " enlightened wisdom." Now
that was crazy. Any abuse by clergy should have the same legal penalty as
public school teachers and college professors who abuse students.
As served for 4 years as the chair of a Clergy Ethics Board and what I learned was
it always involved money, sex or power and never only one of those.
Sex abuse is connected to power misuse.
In my clergy denomination it is not allowed for a priest who is single to
date any member of their congregation. A member would have to leave,join
another congregation before they could date. This is really to protect both
the priest and member.
The experience of abuse can be a path to create compassion as guidelines to
protect everyone in the sangha.

Gassho, peace, Paul sat lah

[Jakuden]

What seems important to me is the steady commitment to face the issues and work through with patience and a willingness to listen, even though it was very painful… I am also impressed that it seems they resisted the urge to quickly restore a facade of peace and good feelings at the expense of growth.

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Gassho
Jakuden
SatToday


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[Tairin]

Thank you for this essay Sosan.


Tairin
Sat today and lah